“Random Thought: If your dude hates when you wear a certain outfit/shoes…would you continue to wear it around him? Or would you change your style to please him?”
I got this text recently from a friend.
I shoot back, “Change it up.”
But then, as always, the wheels in my mind get to spinning.
I wonder if she had on something that he liked when he met her?
Or maybe he should buy her a complete outfit to show her what he would like to see her wear. Or maybe he could suggest going shopping with her the next time.
But how would most women really respond to her boyfriend or special friend if he said the way she dresses is atrocious, so please don’t wear those shoes or those jeans and throw that shirt in the gawbage.
That’s not what I believe my friend would do, but it may fall on his gf’s ears that way and possibly hurt her heart just a little. But should it?
I value honest opinions about the things I wear.
As a matter of fact, this has to be one of the things I truly miss about being married. If I was unsure about an outfit before heading to work, I would tap my ex on the shoulder, turn on the light and ask, “How does this look?”
And if we were heading out for the evening I would pose the question, “What do you think about this?”
Now, I’m just going by what I think. I look myself in the mirror and reassure D.
“That looks good, girl.” Or “Nah, drop that in the pile to give away.”
Anywho.
Doesn’t a person want to be accepted just as they are -- ugly shoes and all?
Interestingly, after I got the text someone told me he really likes red.
“I love a woman in red.”
But really, I don’t wear red.
So if I truly stand by the answer I sent my friend about his friend, then I would incorporate more red into my wardrobe, right?
I have one red pair of pants, a red shirt, a red robe, pants, hooded lounging thingymagig my mom bought me to stay warm and a red shortie and shirt lounging outfit. And oh yea, I have a red blazer in my bag of clothes that need to go to the cleaners.
Because this guy has told me that he likes red, should I rush out to incorporate more red into my wardrobe? After all, he did say he loves a woman in red.
And research has also found that red can boost sex appeal.
A report in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2008 said men were more likely to say they wanted to have sex with a woman and that they would be willing to spend more on a date if she were in red.
I’m rushing out to buy a red dress and then I’m asking to go on my dream vacation to Hawaii. :)
But what are your thoughts about changing how you dress for the man or woman that you are dating?
Post your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
He/She Is Not Feelin' You
Have you ever looked back on a relationship and said, "I didn't see an obvious sign that he or she was not feeling me?"
I'm not sure if there was a collective nod of heads, but I'll be the first to admit that I have.
On my journey to find love, I have been a bit too focused on the end result and did not enjoy the beauty of the trip.
If you were to take a drive through the beautiful mountains of Salt Lake City, Utah, you wouldn't just drive to the end of the road and then look up.
You would enjoy the scenery while traveling along, right?
If you were preparing a fabulous meal for your family, you wouldn't cook an entire meal without tasting a thing and hope that the meal turns out perfectly. You would taste a lil here and there to be sure that it was delish.
And if you were buying a new 54-inch plasma, you would want to see the picture before you took it home. And you would compare one picture and price to another picture and price. You wouldn't be just focused on putting any big screen in your truck and going home.
In relationships, we just want the ring, the wedding day, the home, the kids, the husband, the wife, heck the warm body.
And we choose to turn off our senses while traveling along on the journey to love.
We see things that are unpleasant. But most of all we feel things that are not good.
Your gut feeling is real.
You may be saying I kinda felt that something wasn't going quite right when he didn't call.
Or I thought she talked about money too much.
Listen to your gut and remember GUT as Giving U Truth.
With that said, there are a few signs that I recently read about and thought for the most part were dead on. So I thought I would share.
Ladies, if he doesn't keep his word, he may not be feelin' you. I have a gf whose bf told her he was coming to get her and never showed up. She called and called and each time the phone went to voicemail.
She was heartbroken and I was heartbroken for her and when she cried in the phone, I did too. She didn't know it and she still doesn't know it to this day (well, maybe she will now) but as she explained to me what was going on I felt her pain and tears rolled down my cheeks.
Who needs this pain. Kick him to da curb!
Another big one ladies is when he is not into satisfying you sexually. If he's just humpty, hump to get His, well this is a problem. If you want to roleplay and he calls it stupid. Watch out! If you want to read erotica together or experiment with _______ (you fill in the blank) and he says that is dumb, don't fool yourself into believing that he really cares one iota about you. You can't change him. He's a selfish lover. And do you want a selfish lover?
And then there's the guy who doesn't check on you after the date or your nice weekend together to make sure you got home safely. Out of sight is out of mind. Oh, I've been down the don't call, don't write, don't talk, don't care road. A guy should make a woman feel safe. He should make her feel secure. He should make sure she is home OK. He should want to protect her.
And Ladies, forget the fella who does't call. He doesn't like you and that's OK. You are better off because he didn't. A man who really wants you will pursue you.
Oh, he calls. He may be the busiest man on the planet but he is going to carve out some time somewhere to send a text and have a brief conversation with you. And danggone, don't you think you are worthy of a telephone conversation?
Read more He's Not Feelin' You Tips.
And fellas, I know that women play games just as much as men. So I did a random survey to get feedback and some reading and came up with four signs for you, too.
She is full of excuses for why she can't spend time with you. You likely make her feel like, "Oh, I would rather watch paint dry." She does not return your phone calls and when you call her, you know that she sent you directly to voicemail. Ummm, move on.
She does not make time for you and tells you how much either her girlfriends or her career mean to her.
Tell her thanks but no thanks and keep it movin'. Women like to spend time with their gfs, but a woman actually craves a man and not just sexually. Why do you think soooo many women are desperate? They are craving a man. They want to talk to him, be around him, touch him.
After all, God did make woman as a man's help mate, so if she isn't trying to be around you, she doesn't like you.
And if you meet Ms. What Can You Do For Me do not walk, run, like your life depended on it.
Yea, you are supposed to make sure she is OK if you really care about her, but if within the first few dates, she's asking for money for her hair or nails or car note or light bill, you might wanna rethink the attraction to the big bootie, the boobies and pretty face. She is a user and she will use you up.
And the last sign that should be the writing on the wall is how she talks about men. Does she think that all men are bad? All men cheat. All men lie.
Kiss her on the cheek and wish her a good life and tell her your name is not ALL.
Women don't want to be lumped into a group with all women and neither do men. It's not fair.
Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
I'm not sure if there was a collective nod of heads, but I'll be the first to admit that I have.
On my journey to find love, I have been a bit too focused on the end result and did not enjoy the beauty of the trip.
If you were to take a drive through the beautiful mountains of Salt Lake City, Utah, you wouldn't just drive to the end of the road and then look up.
You would enjoy the scenery while traveling along, right?
If you were preparing a fabulous meal for your family, you wouldn't cook an entire meal without tasting a thing and hope that the meal turns out perfectly. You would taste a lil here and there to be sure that it was delish.
And if you were buying a new 54-inch plasma, you would want to see the picture before you took it home. And you would compare one picture and price to another picture and price. You wouldn't be just focused on putting any big screen in your truck and going home.
In relationships, we just want the ring, the wedding day, the home, the kids, the husband, the wife, heck the warm body.
And we choose to turn off our senses while traveling along on the journey to love.
We see things that are unpleasant. But most of all we feel things that are not good.
Your gut feeling is real.
You may be saying I kinda felt that something wasn't going quite right when he didn't call.
Or I thought she talked about money too much.
Listen to your gut and remember GUT as Giving U Truth.
With that said, there are a few signs that I recently read about and thought for the most part were dead on. So I thought I would share.
Ladies, if he doesn't keep his word, he may not be feelin' you. I have a gf whose bf told her he was coming to get her and never showed up. She called and called and each time the phone went to voicemail.
She was heartbroken and I was heartbroken for her and when she cried in the phone, I did too. She didn't know it and she still doesn't know it to this day (well, maybe she will now) but as she explained to me what was going on I felt her pain and tears rolled down my cheeks.
Who needs this pain. Kick him to da curb!
Another big one ladies is when he is not into satisfying you sexually. If he's just humpty, hump to get His, well this is a problem. If you want to roleplay and he calls it stupid. Watch out! If you want to read erotica together or experiment with _______ (you fill in the blank) and he says that is dumb, don't fool yourself into believing that he really cares one iota about you. You can't change him. He's a selfish lover. And do you want a selfish lover?
And then there's the guy who doesn't check on you after the date or your nice weekend together to make sure you got home safely. Out of sight is out of mind. Oh, I've been down the don't call, don't write, don't talk, don't care road. A guy should make a woman feel safe. He should make her feel secure. He should make sure she is home OK. He should want to protect her.
And Ladies, forget the fella who does't call. He doesn't like you and that's OK. You are better off because he didn't. A man who really wants you will pursue you.
Oh, he calls. He may be the busiest man on the planet but he is going to carve out some time somewhere to send a text and have a brief conversation with you. And danggone, don't you think you are worthy of a telephone conversation?
Read more He's Not Feelin' You Tips.
And fellas, I know that women play games just as much as men. So I did a random survey to get feedback and some reading and came up with four signs for you, too.
She is full of excuses for why she can't spend time with you. You likely make her feel like, "Oh, I would rather watch paint dry." She does not return your phone calls and when you call her, you know that she sent you directly to voicemail. Ummm, move on.
She does not make time for you and tells you how much either her girlfriends or her career mean to her.
Tell her thanks but no thanks and keep it movin'. Women like to spend time with their gfs, but a woman actually craves a man and not just sexually. Why do you think soooo many women are desperate? They are craving a man. They want to talk to him, be around him, touch him.
After all, God did make woman as a man's help mate, so if she isn't trying to be around you, she doesn't like you.
And if you meet Ms. What Can You Do For Me do not walk, run, like your life depended on it.
Yea, you are supposed to make sure she is OK if you really care about her, but if within the first few dates, she's asking for money for her hair or nails or car note or light bill, you might wanna rethink the attraction to the big bootie, the boobies and pretty face. She is a user and she will use you up.
And the last sign that should be the writing on the wall is how she talks about men. Does she think that all men are bad? All men cheat. All men lie.
Kiss her on the cheek and wish her a good life and tell her your name is not ALL.
Women don't want to be lumped into a group with all women and neither do men. It's not fair.
Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Feeling Juices Part 2 -- Oh, Oh Oral Sex
Mondays's blog on feeling juices during sex brought on a flurry of interesting responses and comments.
"I read ur blog i didn't know u met a guy? And he wanted 2 feel ur va jay jay why u ain't tell me."
This text came from a guy who I just talk to on the phone and text every now and then. He's never taken me out on a date!
After I text and say, "don't you date and please cut it out," he responds, "I liked u."
Ouch!
Did you get the E-D on that like? As in past tense.
I just wrote about what I wanted to write about. This is America. It is a free country.
But to be sure I didn't say the wrong thing to my supposed Boo, I went outside and looked in front of my door and in my mailbox for a little blue box. Oh where, Oh where is my little blue box, Oh where, Oh where can it be.
Boi, beat it! Do not collect $200, go directly to jail and ummm kick rocks.
But that was only the beginning of what would be one of the most interesting blog days of my life.
I always get people who want to challenge my opinions. Nah, you wrong! Nah, that's not true!
My mom always told me that "an opinion is like an A$$hole everyone has one," so it's cool and the gang. Bring it! I love feedback. I love a good thought-provoking conversation.
But before long I'm bobbing and weaving as I get a jab to the chin. My head pops back but I'm still in boxer stance. "So what you are saying is, you will do anybody as long as he is wearing a condom?"
I don't want to challenge anybody's edumucation, but in the words of Fred Sanford, "UUUUUUUUUUU big dummy."
I didn't say that! Don't go twisting my words!
Before I put my hand over my heart and tell Elizabeth, I'm coming to join her, I was hit with the Big O question.
"If you want to talk about unprotected sex, why not talk about oral sex. Oral sex is more intimate than intercourse and you can get STDs in your mouth just the same," a blog reader says.
"OK, yea you are right, but I think the statistics will show that the chances of getting an oral STD are lower. And I don't think the AIDS campaigns focus on oral sex, cause that ain't killing folks," I respond.
But the oral sex issue is valid. It is absolutely valid.
So yea before folks take a trip downtown, they may wanna ponder is this an act for every Tom and Dick or is this reserved for a special, monogomous relationship.
After all, you could be getting ahold of one of those DIs that just went bareback with a (Funky Cold Madena) funky cold Gonnorhea Va-jay-jay. Or a Va-jay-jay that likes it best raw.
I don't want to be a killjoy but it is the truth.
And would you be comfy and cozy with telling a potential mate how many DIs or Va-jay-jays you've given a tongue massage?
What would you do if you met someone and she said "Hello, My name is Downtown Judy Brown and I've given tongue massages to 50 DIs."
And this is the truth. I was out with one of my gfs once and this guy said quite loudly in the establishment during a conversation, "I've been eating (ya know) since middle school."
Ewwwww!
Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
"I read ur blog i didn't know u met a guy? And he wanted 2 feel ur va jay jay why u ain't tell me."
This text came from a guy who I just talk to on the phone and text every now and then. He's never taken me out on a date!
After I text and say, "don't you date and please cut it out," he responds, "I liked u."
Ouch!
Did you get the E-D on that like? As in past tense.
I just wrote about what I wanted to write about. This is America. It is a free country.
But to be sure I didn't say the wrong thing to my supposed Boo, I went outside and looked in front of my door and in my mailbox for a little blue box. Oh where, Oh where is my little blue box, Oh where, Oh where can it be.
Boi, beat it! Do not collect $200, go directly to jail and ummm kick rocks.
But that was only the beginning of what would be one of the most interesting blog days of my life.
I always get people who want to challenge my opinions. Nah, you wrong! Nah, that's not true!
My mom always told me that "an opinion is like an A$$hole everyone has one," so it's cool and the gang. Bring it! I love feedback. I love a good thought-provoking conversation.
But before long I'm bobbing and weaving as I get a jab to the chin. My head pops back but I'm still in boxer stance. "So what you are saying is, you will do anybody as long as he is wearing a condom?"
I don't want to challenge anybody's edumucation, but in the words of Fred Sanford, "UUUUUUUUUUU big dummy."
I didn't say that! Don't go twisting my words!
Before I put my hand over my heart and tell Elizabeth, I'm coming to join her, I was hit with the Big O question.
"If you want to talk about unprotected sex, why not talk about oral sex. Oral sex is more intimate than intercourse and you can get STDs in your mouth just the same," a blog reader says.
"OK, yea you are right, but I think the statistics will show that the chances of getting an oral STD are lower. And I don't think the AIDS campaigns focus on oral sex, cause that ain't killing folks," I respond.
But the oral sex issue is valid. It is absolutely valid.
So yea before folks take a trip downtown, they may wanna ponder is this an act for every Tom and Dick or is this reserved for a special, monogomous relationship.
After all, you could be getting ahold of one of those DIs that just went bareback with a (Funky Cold Madena) funky cold Gonnorhea Va-jay-jay. Or a Va-jay-jay that likes it best raw.
I don't want to be a killjoy but it is the truth.
And would you be comfy and cozy with telling a potential mate how many DIs or Va-jay-jays you've given a tongue massage?
What would you do if you met someone and she said "Hello, My name is Downtown Judy Brown and I've given tongue massages to 50 DIs."
And this is the truth. I was out with one of my gfs once and this guy said quite loudly in the establishment during a conversation, "I've been eating (ya know) since middle school."
Ewwwww!
Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Let Me Just Feel Your Juices
Dating is interesting. So far, I've met some clowns and some real clowns. :)
I'm beginning to believe that the point of dating is to have sex, not to get to know a person better.
And OK, sex is one of those natural urges. It is one of those basic needs like water and food. Well, for some people it is one of those basic needs.
Any who.
I found myself in a predicament recently. I've been seeing a guy. I like him. I'm attracted to him. We have good conversations. As a matter of fact, I love his conversation. I find him interesting. Very nice guy.
With that said, a little smoochie smooch and I think I want some water. :)
I go back and forth in my mind. Should I? Shouldn't I?
What the fewey! I'm grown, so I guess there doesn't have to be a time limit on deciding to have sex. I'm clearly within the 90 days that Steve Harvey suggests in his book.
So here I go. But then there's a whisper in my ear, "Let me just feel your juices."
"What? No. You don't have a condom?"
"Yea, but let me just feel it."
"NO!"
Ahright, I'm a little turned off because ummm just in that moment I realized I didn't really know this guy. I don't know his mother's name. He doesn't know my mom's name.
We have talked about our families and our marital statuses and what we desire in a relationship. But there is a lot of stuff that he still doesn't know about me. I don't know a lot about him.
And why on the first time would he say this?
What makes my Va-jay-jay sooooo special that he wants to feel it. I know it's special. Read my blog post about my treasure box.
This small comment may be shedding more light on him as a sexual partner. Does he just feel all of the Va-jay-jays? Yuckola!
Plus, who does that? What man JUST feels it and then puts on a condom?
And shouldn't unprotected sex be part of a monogomous relationship or am I really old-fashioned in feeling that way?
Do men go to the Let Me Feel Your Juices School when they learn how to put on a condom?
Daaaag!
After all there are many, many sexually transmitted diseases and one that will put you in the grave.
And plus unprotected sex is a perk of monogomy.
It is a perk of being with just one person -- mind, body and spirit.
It is a prize of wanting to really be with a person over time.
It should be involved when two people have decided that there is something really special and not just juices.
Share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
I'm beginning to believe that the point of dating is to have sex, not to get to know a person better.
And OK, sex is one of those natural urges. It is one of those basic needs like water and food. Well, for some people it is one of those basic needs.
Any who.
I found myself in a predicament recently. I've been seeing a guy. I like him. I'm attracted to him. We have good conversations. As a matter of fact, I love his conversation. I find him interesting. Very nice guy.
With that said, a little smoochie smooch and I think I want some water. :)
I go back and forth in my mind. Should I? Shouldn't I?
What the fewey! I'm grown, so I guess there doesn't have to be a time limit on deciding to have sex. I'm clearly within the 90 days that Steve Harvey suggests in his book.
So here I go. But then there's a whisper in my ear, "Let me just feel your juices."
"What? No. You don't have a condom?"
"Yea, but let me just feel it."
"NO!"
Ahright, I'm a little turned off because ummm just in that moment I realized I didn't really know this guy. I don't know his mother's name. He doesn't know my mom's name.
We have talked about our families and our marital statuses and what we desire in a relationship. But there is a lot of stuff that he still doesn't know about me. I don't know a lot about him.
And why on the first time would he say this?
What makes my Va-jay-jay sooooo special that he wants to feel it. I know it's special. Read my blog post about my treasure box.
This small comment may be shedding more light on him as a sexual partner. Does he just feel all of the Va-jay-jays? Yuckola!
Plus, who does that? What man JUST feels it and then puts on a condom?
And shouldn't unprotected sex be part of a monogomous relationship or am I really old-fashioned in feeling that way?
Do men go to the Let Me Feel Your Juices School when they learn how to put on a condom?
Daaaag!
After all there are many, many sexually transmitted diseases and one that will put you in the grave.
And plus unprotected sex is a perk of monogomy.
It is a perk of being with just one person -- mind, body and spirit.
It is a prize of wanting to really be with a person over time.
It should be involved when two people have decided that there is something really special and not just juices.
Share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Kiss Me In The Morning
There's been something that has perplexed me for quite some time.
Why don't people like to kiss with morning breath?
Yea, I get that sometimes it can be downright funkadunk but is it really that bad or is this just an unnecesary hangup?
Here's the scenario.
You are on stick and move :) or in a long-term relationship, but the person you share a bed with will not lay one on you in the morning.
All kind of stuff has likely taken place the night before and even if IT hasn't IT may be getting ready to. So what's with the whole morning breath phenomenon?
Honestly, it's never bothered me (unless it's drunked-up liquor morning after breath, pepe la pewwww), but because I know it bothers people in general I took a random survey of my friends and family members. Some say bring it on while others say yuckola.
OK, so for the yuckolas, I have to pose a question. "You do everything else with that mouth, and y'all know what I'm talking about, but when it's time to put them on some lips, you clam up. 'Oh, I don't kiss with morning breath.' "
Cut it out!
OK, you don't have to be as comfy and cozy as you would with minty fresh breath but really.
Go put that hangup in the closet or maybe go visit a dentist because if your breath is knockin' folks out, it's time for a cleaning. And ummm, you may have a cavity or sumptin that's causin' your breath to be kickin'.
What are your thoughts about kissing with morning breath? Share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Why don't people like to kiss with morning breath?
Yea, I get that sometimes it can be downright funkadunk but is it really that bad or is this just an unnecesary hangup?
Here's the scenario.
You are on stick and move :) or in a long-term relationship, but the person you share a bed with will not lay one on you in the morning.
All kind of stuff has likely taken place the night before and even if IT hasn't IT may be getting ready to. So what's with the whole morning breath phenomenon?
Honestly, it's never bothered me (unless it's drunked-up liquor morning after breath, pepe la pewwww), but because I know it bothers people in general I took a random survey of my friends and family members. Some say bring it on while others say yuckola.
OK, so for the yuckolas, I have to pose a question. "You do everything else with that mouth, and y'all know what I'm talking about, but when it's time to put them on some lips, you clam up. 'Oh, I don't kiss with morning breath.' "
Cut it out!
OK, you don't have to be as comfy and cozy as you would with minty fresh breath but really.
Go put that hangup in the closet or maybe go visit a dentist because if your breath is knockin' folks out, it's time for a cleaning. And ummm, you may have a cavity or sumptin that's causin' your breath to be kickin'.
What are your thoughts about kissing with morning breath? Share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Sunshine Increases Sexual Urges
Warmer weather is on our heels so get ready!
There will be many sights to see as people shed layers and reveal more. Some of these people will make you do a double take. Ooooweee!
Who doesn’t like a nice pair of arms or legs?
I can't wait to kick off my shoes for a pair of sandals and bare a little skin.
But be ready for the other part of the sunshine-effect that brings out people who have rolly polly guts and dimples galore.
Yea, we have to take the good with the bad.
But have you ever wondered if there was more to shedding a layer of clothing than just trying to stay cool on a hot, sunshiny day?
Well, there is.
Warmer weather brings out chirping birds, beautiful flowers and fresh springtime scents. Warmer weather also awakens libidos.
Yes, libidos.
Part of why people, and remember we are animals, begin to shed a layer is because folks are feeling a bit frisky. It's mating season.
And it's something about hot, sticky weather that gets me going.
But now I have a greater understanding of what's really going on.
Spring brings out a normal hormonal reaction to one of the most natural and available aphrodisiacs -- light.
And you thought it was Spanish Fly?
This effect is due to the epiphysis, which scientists popularly call "the brain’s third eye."
This eye is responsible for people fantasizing about men or women with perfect bodies and for getting excited at the slightest physical contact.
Light has an effect on this part of the brain and the type of chemicals produced in our bodies.
Simply put, we become horndogs!
So as you watch the meteorologist in your city, you will have a greater appreciation for the sunshine.
You will no longer see 80s and sunny the same because you will know the horndogs are going to be out.
Do you think you are hornier in the spring and summer? Do you think the weather has any affect on your libido?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
There will be many sights to see as people shed layers and reveal more. Some of these people will make you do a double take. Ooooweee!
Who doesn’t like a nice pair of arms or legs?
I can't wait to kick off my shoes for a pair of sandals and bare a little skin.
But be ready for the other part of the sunshine-effect that brings out people who have rolly polly guts and dimples galore.
Yea, we have to take the good with the bad.
But have you ever wondered if there was more to shedding a layer of clothing than just trying to stay cool on a hot, sunshiny day?
Well, there is.
Warmer weather brings out chirping birds, beautiful flowers and fresh springtime scents. Warmer weather also awakens libidos.
Yes, libidos.
Part of why people, and remember we are animals, begin to shed a layer is because folks are feeling a bit frisky. It's mating season.
And it's something about hot, sticky weather that gets me going.
But now I have a greater understanding of what's really going on.
Spring brings out a normal hormonal reaction to one of the most natural and available aphrodisiacs -- light.
And you thought it was Spanish Fly?
This effect is due to the epiphysis, which scientists popularly call "the brain’s third eye."
This eye is responsible for people fantasizing about men or women with perfect bodies and for getting excited at the slightest physical contact.
Light has an effect on this part of the brain and the type of chemicals produced in our bodies.
Simply put, we become horndogs!
So as you watch the meteorologist in your city, you will have a greater appreciation for the sunshine.
You will no longer see 80s and sunny the same because you will know the horndogs are going to be out.
Do you think you are hornier in the spring and summer? Do you think the weather has any affect on your libido?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Sex Isn’t Just Sex
A man has different types of sex depending on how he feels about the woman and the stage of life with which he is in.
This sums of a section of a book called “"The Secret Lives Of Men" that I have just started reading.
Christopher Blazina, the author, points out in his book that some men feel “tied down” in relationships and want to have “a stash” on the side.
Wow! Not a woman but a stash.
The author says that by referring to a woman as a “stash” it doesn’t even recognize that she is a person. Rather he uses the “stash” to fill a void.
The author says this man doesn’t even see the woman as having a face. But old-timers always said, “Ps don’t have a face.” And yea Ps are what you think.
But that’s cold-blooded, especially when the stash feels like she means a little bit. Just a tad bit. Ummm, fool!
But on the flip side, there is the man who is in a committed, long-term relationship who seeks to add a bit of spice after a routine of the same sexual positions. This man will seek role-playing opportunities, use games and toys.
“Couples who love each other should enjoy the playful aspects as well. They can explore, try new things and do what feels consistent to maintain and enhance their solid connection,” the author writes.
The author also pointed out that there is the man who has nonstop sexual flings because he is actually in search of true love. Can you say pitiful playa?
With that said, the author then goes into various types of sex and explains that there can be advantages and disadvantages to them all.
They include valium sex, hallmark card sex, lustful sex, exploratory sex, power and submission sex, procreation sex, makeup sex, checked-out sex, the drunken shag and casual sex.
Man Valium sex is used to alleviate unsettling feelings. It can be soothing as long as this is not the only type of sex a man likes to have.
OK, soothing is good. This is possibly the type of sex after a long, stressful day at work or for reassurance about someone’s feelings in a relationship. After all, men need reassurance too.
Hallmark Card Sex is used to emotionally connect with a partner but can be a problem when there is an expectation for this type of sex every time.
This is that encounter after a romantic evening on a special occasion. Maybe Happy-Anniversary Boo! Sex.
Lustful Sex is when pheromones are flying and is a problem when there is only lust.
Sexual chemistry, sexual chemistry, sexual chemistry. Whew!
Exploratory Sex is playful and fun but can be a problem when both parties are not on the same page about what is considered acceptable.
After reading the various types, I would have to say that this one seemed to be the most interesting. Two people have to really be on the same page to truly enjoy this type of sex. There has to be a lot of communication oooweee.
Power and Submission Sex is who-is-in-charge-of-calling-the-shots sex and can be bad when emotional parts get played on in a damaging way.
I read the information about this one over and over and I can’t find a good way to sum it up. I was thinking dominitrix but that didn’t fit. Maybe this type of sex is involved in emotionally and physically abusive relationships. I don’t get this one.
Procreation sex is used to conceive a baby but may cause stress when there are infertility issues. This one is self-explanatory.
Makeup Sex is a gentle blend of anger, love and reconciliation but can be a problem when the best part of the relationship is makeup sex.
I’ve heard that this is good, but in all my years and arguuuuuments I’ve never experienced it. Sad, huh?
Checked-out sex is not being in the mood but participating anyway. This is a problem when most encounters become this way.
This is the I’m-not-into-you, I’m-not-into-you, I’m-not-into-you sex.
The Drunken Shag is the booty call and can be a problem when both parties do not agree upon the type of encounter.
Ummm, I think most people should know when they are a booty call.
Casual sex is various forms of free love and becomes a problem, like the drunken shag, when both parties do not agree on the type of encounter.
In one word – Hoe!
Ladies and Gents, you must understand your role. You know and you know you know when you are a booty call.
Did you realize that there were so many types of sex? Do you have a favorite? Can you think of any other types of sex?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
This sums of a section of a book called “"The Secret Lives Of Men" that I have just started reading.
Christopher Blazina, the author, points out in his book that some men feel “tied down” in relationships and want to have “a stash” on the side.
Wow! Not a woman but a stash.
The author says that by referring to a woman as a “stash” it doesn’t even recognize that she is a person. Rather he uses the “stash” to fill a void.
The author says this man doesn’t even see the woman as having a face. But old-timers always said, “Ps don’t have a face.” And yea Ps are what you think.
But that’s cold-blooded, especially when the stash feels like she means a little bit. Just a tad bit. Ummm, fool!
But on the flip side, there is the man who is in a committed, long-term relationship who seeks to add a bit of spice after a routine of the same sexual positions. This man will seek role-playing opportunities, use games and toys.
“Couples who love each other should enjoy the playful aspects as well. They can explore, try new things and do what feels consistent to maintain and enhance their solid connection,” the author writes.
The author also pointed out that there is the man who has nonstop sexual flings because he is actually in search of true love. Can you say pitiful playa?
With that said, the author then goes into various types of sex and explains that there can be advantages and disadvantages to them all.
They include valium sex, hallmark card sex, lustful sex, exploratory sex, power and submission sex, procreation sex, makeup sex, checked-out sex, the drunken shag and casual sex.
Man Valium sex is used to alleviate unsettling feelings. It can be soothing as long as this is not the only type of sex a man likes to have.
OK, soothing is good. This is possibly the type of sex after a long, stressful day at work or for reassurance about someone’s feelings in a relationship. After all, men need reassurance too.
Hallmark Card Sex is used to emotionally connect with a partner but can be a problem when there is an expectation for this type of sex every time.
This is that encounter after a romantic evening on a special occasion. Maybe Happy-Anniversary Boo! Sex.
Lustful Sex is when pheromones are flying and is a problem when there is only lust.
Sexual chemistry, sexual chemistry, sexual chemistry. Whew!
Exploratory Sex is playful and fun but can be a problem when both parties are not on the same page about what is considered acceptable.
After reading the various types, I would have to say that this one seemed to be the most interesting. Two people have to really be on the same page to truly enjoy this type of sex. There has to be a lot of communication oooweee.
Power and Submission Sex is who-is-in-charge-of-calling-the-shots sex and can be bad when emotional parts get played on in a damaging way.
I read the information about this one over and over and I can’t find a good way to sum it up. I was thinking dominitrix but that didn’t fit. Maybe this type of sex is involved in emotionally and physically abusive relationships. I don’t get this one.
Procreation sex is used to conceive a baby but may cause stress when there are infertility issues. This one is self-explanatory.
Makeup Sex is a gentle blend of anger, love and reconciliation but can be a problem when the best part of the relationship is makeup sex.
I’ve heard that this is good, but in all my years and arguuuuuments I’ve never experienced it. Sad, huh?
Checked-out sex is not being in the mood but participating anyway. This is a problem when most encounters become this way.
This is the I’m-not-into-you, I’m-not-into-you, I’m-not-into-you sex.
The Drunken Shag is the booty call and can be a problem when both parties do not agree upon the type of encounter.
Ummm, I think most people should know when they are a booty call.
Casual sex is various forms of free love and becomes a problem, like the drunken shag, when both parties do not agree on the type of encounter.
In one word – Hoe!
Ladies and Gents, you must understand your role. You know and you know you know when you are a booty call.
Did you realize that there were so many types of sex? Do you have a favorite? Can you think of any other types of sex?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Oh, What A Ride
Officials are worried about drinking and driving, texting and driving, talking on a cell phone and driving, but are there any laws on the books for getting a blow job while driving or sex while driving.
A BJWD is likely one of those sexual acts that a lot of men crave. I may be wrong, but I put it in the same category of the experimental menage et trois. For some reason, two boobies and one Va-jay-jay are not enough. This type of man needs four boobies and two Va-jay-jays. Hmmm, just greedy.
Any who.
While riding along as a passenger in a truck, I saw a navigation of the highway that is not taught in driving school.
We were driving two lanes over from the car with all the action.
Let me paint the picture for you.
I had just finished watching the Cleveland Cavaliers whoop the Detroit Pistons. Go Cavs!
I was riding along in a sport utility vehicle that really provided an good view inside most vehicles. I really understand why truckers have honked while I've changed into a different set of clothes while driving. They really have an interesting angle.
But while I'm riding along, I happened to look to my right. I do a quick shake of my head to clear the cobwebs because what I saw caught me off guard. There was a couple having a good time. Her head was in his lap and bobbing.
Wow!
They both had on a Cavaliers' "One Goal" T-shirts.
I usually don't forget any details but I can't remember the make of the car but it was silver.
Traffic wasn't stop-and-go, but it wasn't moving at a swift pace either, so the vehicle in which I was traveling would catch up and then lose this silver sexual act vehicle.
And for some strange reason, everytime the truck would get near the silver sex act vehicle, I would look.
Whew, I'm nosey or a voyeur.
I'm trying not to stare so much but I'm happy I'm not driving. Can you say errrrrr, booom, crash.
Traffic was beginning to pick up and I would estimate the speed at about 35 mph.
I see the lady sit up in her seat, she slipped off her jeans. While she is disrobing, the male driver is ummm clearly erect.
My eyes are becoming more like ping pongs watching them.
She does a little striptease in her seat with the lacey gold thongs she's wearing. She's blowing kisses and giving him a Oooowwweee, you bout to get it! look.
She slowly pulled her thongs below her hips while she lifted one leg at a time. Soon they were completely off.
She then balled them up and put them in his mouth. Not all the way in his mouth. But he was holding the steering wheel with a pair of gold undies hanging out of his mouth.
Wowsa Yowsa!
Traffic is beginning to really pick up now and so is this couple. She straddled him and yes, he was still driving.
What! What! What!
I see a bit of what appeared to be, well you know. Before the truck I'm riding along in doesn't provide a voyeuristic view.
I'm in shock and breathing in my mouth and out my nose like I'm exercising.
Whew! That couple gave a whole new meaning to those "One Goal" T-shirts they were wearing.
And officials are worried about text messaging while driving?
Share your thoughts or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
A BJWD is likely one of those sexual acts that a lot of men crave. I may be wrong, but I put it in the same category of the experimental menage et trois. For some reason, two boobies and one Va-jay-jay are not enough. This type of man needs four boobies and two Va-jay-jays. Hmmm, just greedy.
Any who.
While riding along as a passenger in a truck, I saw a navigation of the highway that is not taught in driving school.
We were driving two lanes over from the car with all the action.
Let me paint the picture for you.
I had just finished watching the Cleveland Cavaliers whoop the Detroit Pistons. Go Cavs!
I was riding along in a sport utility vehicle that really provided an good view inside most vehicles. I really understand why truckers have honked while I've changed into a different set of clothes while driving. They really have an interesting angle.
But while I'm riding along, I happened to look to my right. I do a quick shake of my head to clear the cobwebs because what I saw caught me off guard. There was a couple having a good time. Her head was in his lap and bobbing.
Wow!
They both had on a Cavaliers' "One Goal" T-shirts.
I usually don't forget any details but I can't remember the make of the car but it was silver.
Traffic wasn't stop-and-go, but it wasn't moving at a swift pace either, so the vehicle in which I was traveling would catch up and then lose this silver sexual act vehicle.
And for some strange reason, everytime the truck would get near the silver sex act vehicle, I would look.
Whew, I'm nosey or a voyeur.
I'm trying not to stare so much but I'm happy I'm not driving. Can you say errrrrr, booom, crash.
Traffic was beginning to pick up and I would estimate the speed at about 35 mph.
I see the lady sit up in her seat, she slipped off her jeans. While she is disrobing, the male driver is ummm clearly erect.
My eyes are becoming more like ping pongs watching them.
She does a little striptease in her seat with the lacey gold thongs she's wearing. She's blowing kisses and giving him a Oooowwweee, you bout to get it! look.
She slowly pulled her thongs below her hips while she lifted one leg at a time. Soon they were completely off.
She then balled them up and put them in his mouth. Not all the way in his mouth. But he was holding the steering wheel with a pair of gold undies hanging out of his mouth.
Wowsa Yowsa!
Traffic is beginning to really pick up now and so is this couple. She straddled him and yes, he was still driving.
What! What! What!
I see a bit of what appeared to be, well you know. Before the truck I'm riding along in doesn't provide a voyeuristic view.
I'm in shock and breathing in my mouth and out my nose like I'm exercising.
Whew! That couple gave a whole new meaning to those "One Goal" T-shirts they were wearing.
And officials are worried about text messaging while driving?
Share your thoughts or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Strippers Need Love Too
The night before most men get married, they go to a strip club to celebrate or hire a few strippers. Women also get a stripper or two to come to a destination to have a little fun.
But what about the guy or girl who actually believes that the shake-shake shimmy, pump, twirl, bounce dancer is the man or woman of their dreams.
And one of my gfs actually lived with a stripper for several months.
Good times, right?
Well, ummm...
I remember reading not too long ago that more women were choosing exotic dancing as a way to put some extra money in their pockets. In fact, a 52-year-old woman in Akron, Ohio, was attacked by a jealous co-worker her first day on the job. Yea, you did read 52-year-old stripper. Yuckola!
Read more about the old stripper.
Not too long ago there were many college students attempting to pay their way through school with their rumpshakers. Yea, there are other part-time jobs, such as salesperson, bartender, cashier or waitress but the stripper position likely pays the most.
But aren’t strippers sometimes nice girls and guys? Don’t they need love, too?
I’ve been to a few ladies’ nights out and a stripper has been involved in the fun. And oh boy, the things that went on. I imagine those same sexual acts take place at guys’ nights out too, but I really can’t speak on that emphatically.
But I do have a family member who married a man right after he engaged in a sex act with a stripper at his bachelor party. He got drunk and ended up getting too friendly with the strippers’ Va-jay-jay.
Any who.
Too Short rapped about not turning a hoe into a housewife, but is a stripper a hoe? Maybe she’s a hardworker. Maybe she’s a real go-getter. Maybe she’s behind on a few bills.
After all, strippers, both male and female, need love too. Don’t they? Sooooo would you date a stripper?
Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
But what about the guy or girl who actually believes that the shake-shake shimmy, pump, twirl, bounce dancer is the man or woman of their dreams.
And one of my gfs actually lived with a stripper for several months.
Good times, right?
Well, ummm...
I remember reading not too long ago that more women were choosing exotic dancing as a way to put some extra money in their pockets. In fact, a 52-year-old woman in Akron, Ohio, was attacked by a jealous co-worker her first day on the job. Yea, you did read 52-year-old stripper. Yuckola!
Read more about the old stripper.
Not too long ago there were many college students attempting to pay their way through school with their rumpshakers. Yea, there are other part-time jobs, such as salesperson, bartender, cashier or waitress but the stripper position likely pays the most.
But aren’t strippers sometimes nice girls and guys? Don’t they need love, too?
I’ve been to a few ladies’ nights out and a stripper has been involved in the fun. And oh boy, the things that went on. I imagine those same sexual acts take place at guys’ nights out too, but I really can’t speak on that emphatically.
But I do have a family member who married a man right after he engaged in a sex act with a stripper at his bachelor party. He got drunk and ended up getting too friendly with the strippers’ Va-jay-jay.
Any who.
Too Short rapped about not turning a hoe into a housewife, but is a stripper a hoe? Maybe she’s a hardworker. Maybe she’s a real go-getter. Maybe she’s behind on a few bills.
After all, strippers, both male and female, need love too. Don’t they? Sooooo would you date a stripper?
Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Monday, April 20, 2009
You Are A Liar
I think this one guy thought I was vulnerable because of my marital status -- divorced.
I have reached this conclusion because during our short stint of dating he was seemingly telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. But maybe this is something that men do to all women and I've just been out of the dating scene for a while and didn't realize it.
After seeing a guy for about a month, this fool told me that he loved me.
"Ummm, excuse me. What did you say?"
"I love you."
I looked him in his eyes and I was beginning to think I was in a scary movie and he was going to turn into some sort of monster. Clearly, he didn't love me and I found a hint of craziness or maybe it was sneakiness in his eyes.
I left the whole LOVE thing alone until the next day. He didn't mean to say that, I kept telling myself. "Nah, DJ, he didn't mean that."
When I brought up the L word again, I said, "You slipped and said that right?"
"No, I love you and isn't that what you want to hear?"
"Hecky, nah!" I shoot back.
He pauses and then says, "You are the type of woman I could see myself with."
Whew! I'm grabbin' my shoes, and putting up my index finger like a church lady and sneaking on out of this.
He may be a fatal attraction, and the last thing I have time for is a whack-a-doo in my life and plus I'm not vulnerable like that so cut the games, partner.
Do you think guys lie to women to mislead them, to get what they want...why do men lie?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
I have reached this conclusion because during our short stint of dating he was seemingly telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. But maybe this is something that men do to all women and I've just been out of the dating scene for a while and didn't realize it.
After seeing a guy for about a month, this fool told me that he loved me.
"Ummm, excuse me. What did you say?"
"I love you."
I looked him in his eyes and I was beginning to think I was in a scary movie and he was going to turn into some sort of monster. Clearly, he didn't love me and I found a hint of craziness or maybe it was sneakiness in his eyes.
I left the whole LOVE thing alone until the next day. He didn't mean to say that, I kept telling myself. "Nah, DJ, he didn't mean that."
When I brought up the L word again, I said, "You slipped and said that right?"
"No, I love you and isn't that what you want to hear?"
"Hecky, nah!" I shoot back.
He pauses and then says, "You are the type of woman I could see myself with."
Whew! I'm grabbin' my shoes, and putting up my index finger like a church lady and sneaking on out of this.
He may be a fatal attraction, and the last thing I have time for is a whack-a-doo in my life and plus I'm not vulnerable like that so cut the games, partner.
Do you think guys lie to women to mislead them, to get what they want...why do men lie?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Pot Belly Patrol
I decided to join a boot camp a few weeks ago to make some changes in how I take care of the one and only body that God gave me.
I could stand to shed a few pounds, become sleeker and develop some muscle tone. I also have a few ailments in my family that I could possibly ward off by exercise and a good diet. Working out also helps relieve stress. Heck, it's just healthy.
The boot camp I joined is called Nu Life, and over the pass few weeks I have really started to live a new life. I cook differently. No salt! And I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. I don't drink chardonnay as often. Instead I drink a lot of water.
I am beginning to see subtle changes. Some of my pants are no longer leaving railroad tracks around my waist. And you know what I'm talking about. The imprint made in your skin from pants that are too snug.
And the few pounds I've lost have eliminated the stress that some of the buttons on my shirts experienced. The peek-a-boo pucker in my blouses that allowed people to get a sneak at my boobs is disappearing.
Six pounds really make a difference.
I've never had anyone say anything to me about my weight. But I have eyes and a mirror. I can also see and feel those painful too tight pants so I knew it was time to implement change.
But some people are OK being bigger.
One of my friends, who is a bigger guy, told me that he met a girl and after he spent one night with her things fell apart. He was snoring so she asked him to sleep in her guest room. Ouch!
Yes, heavier people often snore.
And then she sent him an e-mail that said she wasn't interested in really having a relationship with him because he doesn't take care of himself.
Wow!
"Well, there is somebody out there who will accept you just as you are, and they will like that you are a big dude," I told him.
And I do believe this.
But is it fair to dismiss a seemingly nice guy or girl out of your life because they are a chubby wubby?
I have to admit that I do not like the Ethiopian-hungry-pot belly look. Yuck! And when a pot belly isn't covered, I think it is one of the most unattractive features on a man.
I'm not saying that a man has to have tat-a-tat-tat-tat chiseled abs, but the pot belly pig look is a bit of a turnoff. I'm talking about the male 5 month pregnancy look.
I do understand that the world is not made of people who think like me. I kinda feel like if I'm making sacrifices with the way I eat, and I'm working out until leg and arm failure, I want someone who would be just as motivated to keep it tight? Is that wrong? Is that simple? Is that asking for too much?
If I'm working hard to turn over a new leaf, a Nu Life, it probably isn't a good mix to hook up with the cookie monster. Or should that even matter?
Share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
I could stand to shed a few pounds, become sleeker and develop some muscle tone. I also have a few ailments in my family that I could possibly ward off by exercise and a good diet. Working out also helps relieve stress. Heck, it's just healthy.
The boot camp I joined is called Nu Life, and over the pass few weeks I have really started to live a new life. I cook differently. No salt! And I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. I don't drink chardonnay as often. Instead I drink a lot of water.
I am beginning to see subtle changes. Some of my pants are no longer leaving railroad tracks around my waist. And you know what I'm talking about. The imprint made in your skin from pants that are too snug.
And the few pounds I've lost have eliminated the stress that some of the buttons on my shirts experienced. The peek-a-boo pucker in my blouses that allowed people to get a sneak at my boobs is disappearing.
Six pounds really make a difference.
I've never had anyone say anything to me about my weight. But I have eyes and a mirror. I can also see and feel those painful too tight pants so I knew it was time to implement change.
But some people are OK being bigger.
One of my friends, who is a bigger guy, told me that he met a girl and after he spent one night with her things fell apart. He was snoring so she asked him to sleep in her guest room. Ouch!
Yes, heavier people often snore.
And then she sent him an e-mail that said she wasn't interested in really having a relationship with him because he doesn't take care of himself.
Wow!
"Well, there is somebody out there who will accept you just as you are, and they will like that you are a big dude," I told him.
And I do believe this.
But is it fair to dismiss a seemingly nice guy or girl out of your life because they are a chubby wubby?
I have to admit that I do not like the Ethiopian-hungry-pot belly look. Yuck! And when a pot belly isn't covered, I think it is one of the most unattractive features on a man.
I'm not saying that a man has to have tat-a-tat-tat-tat chiseled abs, but the pot belly pig look is a bit of a turnoff. I'm talking about the male 5 month pregnancy look.
I do understand that the world is not made of people who think like me. I kinda feel like if I'm making sacrifices with the way I eat, and I'm working out until leg and arm failure, I want someone who would be just as motivated to keep it tight? Is that wrong? Is that simple? Is that asking for too much?
If I'm working hard to turn over a new leaf, a Nu Life, it probably isn't a good mix to hook up with the cookie monster. Or should that even matter?
Share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I'm Addicted To Newness
We all like new stuff.
We ooh and ahh over new shoes, jeans, suits and dresses.
We feel special when we put on that new outfit and it looks oooh sooooo good.
Shoot, sometimes after getting a new hair style I may stare into the mirror a little longer believing that Darlene is the answer to the question asked of the mirror. You know the one. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the loveliest of them all?"
When babies are born, people flock to the hospital. We have to see the newborn. The parents are so proud that they carry around more photos than people really want to see. They want to show off the new member of the family.
When couples finally take the plunge, ummm I mean get married, they enter into the newlywed stage. And they enjoy each other's company on a whole 'nother level. They move into a new home. They start co-mingling two lives. It's exciting to say my wife or my husband or tell people my new last name is...
But what about the newness of a relationship?
One of my gfs called me this morning and said, "What do you do when someone doesn't act like they are excited to see you anymore?"
Wow!
"Well, you tell him that you better start acting like you excited to see me," I said. "And tell him now because if you wait too long it will sound more like a complaint. And the longer you wait the angrier you will get."
I continued, "But that's why it is important to constantly remind a person with the things you say and do that they are important to you. Guuurrl, they ain't lie when they said relationships are work. They are work."
But then I tell her about a guy who told me that he can't wait to see me again.
"You see in the beginning, everything is love. You can't get enough. The true test is trying to sustain a relationship. To keep it fun. To keep it exciting (and not just in the bedroom)."
She responded, "I like that newness."
"Yea, we all do, but the newness can't last. It's just something to build on."
"Well, I'm addicted to that newness. I like that feeling. You meet a guy and everything is wonderful for six months. And then you meet another guy and everything is wonderful for another six months," she said and laughed.
I know that my gf doesn't really want to be going in and out of relationships every six months, but her feelings about newness and the excitment of a new relationship is likely shared by a lot of people.
When people don't work at relationships, the relationship dies.
The same type of thing happens at work. If you don't perform well you get called into the office and let go.
Sometimes when people say relationships are work, I think they mean it negatively. But the negativity is going to manifest itself sooner or later.
Working at a relationship provides many rewards. Your mate will feel good and in turn treat you good. Good times to be had by all!
After you've put in the hours of work with your employer, you want your paycheck, right?
I believe if you put in your work in your relationship with the right one, the benefits are unending and satisfying.
Share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com. Are you addicted to newness? When you say relationships are work, are you thinking negatively? Do you try to make your mate feel good so that he or she will do the same in return?
We ooh and ahh over new shoes, jeans, suits and dresses.
We feel special when we put on that new outfit and it looks oooh sooooo good.
Shoot, sometimes after getting a new hair style I may stare into the mirror a little longer believing that Darlene is the answer to the question asked of the mirror. You know the one. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the loveliest of them all?"
When babies are born, people flock to the hospital. We have to see the newborn. The parents are so proud that they carry around more photos than people really want to see. They want to show off the new member of the family.
When couples finally take the plunge, ummm I mean get married, they enter into the newlywed stage. And they enjoy each other's company on a whole 'nother level. They move into a new home. They start co-mingling two lives. It's exciting to say my wife or my husband or tell people my new last name is...
But what about the newness of a relationship?
One of my gfs called me this morning and said, "What do you do when someone doesn't act like they are excited to see you anymore?"
Wow!
"Well, you tell him that you better start acting like you excited to see me," I said. "And tell him now because if you wait too long it will sound more like a complaint. And the longer you wait the angrier you will get."
I continued, "But that's why it is important to constantly remind a person with the things you say and do that they are important to you. Guuurrl, they ain't lie when they said relationships are work. They are work."
But then I tell her about a guy who told me that he can't wait to see me again.
"You see in the beginning, everything is love. You can't get enough. The true test is trying to sustain a relationship. To keep it fun. To keep it exciting (and not just in the bedroom)."
She responded, "I like that newness."
"Yea, we all do, but the newness can't last. It's just something to build on."
"Well, I'm addicted to that newness. I like that feeling. You meet a guy and everything is wonderful for six months. And then you meet another guy and everything is wonderful for another six months," she said and laughed.
I know that my gf doesn't really want to be going in and out of relationships every six months, but her feelings about newness and the excitment of a new relationship is likely shared by a lot of people.
When people don't work at relationships, the relationship dies.
The same type of thing happens at work. If you don't perform well you get called into the office and let go.
Sometimes when people say relationships are work, I think they mean it negatively. But the negativity is going to manifest itself sooner or later.
Working at a relationship provides many rewards. Your mate will feel good and in turn treat you good. Good times to be had by all!
After you've put in the hours of work with your employer, you want your paycheck, right?
I believe if you put in your work in your relationship with the right one, the benefits are unending and satisfying.
Share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com. Are you addicted to newness? When you say relationships are work, are you thinking negatively? Do you try to make your mate feel good so that he or she will do the same in return?
Friday, April 17, 2009
Substitute Sex For...
There's just something about Yoga that makes me feel so good.
There are several health benefits. It increases flexibility, helps tone muscles and decreases stress.
I've been doing yoga off and on for the past 8 years and I love it.
But recently I went to a new yoga class with a new instructor and found out that another reason I like yoga is all the different positions.
The new instructor was more like a lover than a yoga instructor.
Downward facing dog feels good to the body, but every time I got into this pose my mind would wander.
What is wrong with me? I really do yoga to help the whole mind, body, spirit awareness. I really like to meditate.
But I don't think I'm alone in thinking of yoga and sex simultaneously. It seems that some guys take particular interest in the fact that I like yoga.
I've heard, "That's hot!"
"Are you flexible?" I've been asked.
And sir, why are you concerned with my flexibility?
But it's not just the downward dog that is similar to a sexual position.
When putting a sexual position and a yoga position book side by side there are a lot of common denominators.
There's the lying cobbler. Let me describe this position. Picture yourself lying on your back with your knees up and the bottom of your feet touching.
Then there's the pyramid pose. You squat and your hands are together at the heart.
And then there's the standing straddle forward bend, little thunderbolt pose and plow pose. The plow pose involves your buttock in the air. You hold your hips with your hand and your feet are extended over your head.
The two have many similar health benefits.
Sex relieves stress and that's a benefit of yoga. Sex burns calories and so does yoga. Sex strenghtens muscles and so does yoga.
I've been wondering if there was a substitute for sex. I think I may just have it.
Is there a substitute for sex? Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
There are several health benefits. It increases flexibility, helps tone muscles and decreases stress.
I've been doing yoga off and on for the past 8 years and I love it.
But recently I went to a new yoga class with a new instructor and found out that another reason I like yoga is all the different positions.
The new instructor was more like a lover than a yoga instructor.
Downward facing dog feels good to the body, but every time I got into this pose my mind would wander.
What is wrong with me? I really do yoga to help the whole mind, body, spirit awareness. I really like to meditate.
But I don't think I'm alone in thinking of yoga and sex simultaneously. It seems that some guys take particular interest in the fact that I like yoga.
I've heard, "That's hot!"
"Are you flexible?" I've been asked.
And sir, why are you concerned with my flexibility?
But it's not just the downward dog that is similar to a sexual position.
When putting a sexual position and a yoga position book side by side there are a lot of common denominators.
There's the lying cobbler. Let me describe this position. Picture yourself lying on your back with your knees up and the bottom of your feet touching.
Then there's the pyramid pose. You squat and your hands are together at the heart.
And then there's the standing straddle forward bend, little thunderbolt pose and plow pose. The plow pose involves your buttock in the air. You hold your hips with your hand and your feet are extended over your head.
The two have many similar health benefits.
Sex relieves stress and that's a benefit of yoga. Sex burns calories and so does yoga. Sex strenghtens muscles and so does yoga.
I've been wondering if there was a substitute for sex. I think I may just have it.
Is there a substitute for sex? Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Relationship Success Is In Your Photos
Your friend has a camera and it's time to take a group shot.
You are rushing to gain a prominent spot. You perk up and lean in and hold your stomach and smile.
It appears that the intensity of smiles captured in photos may actually predict if you will get married but end up joining the Divorce Club.
A LiveScience study found that how much people smile in old photographs can predict the success of a marriage. The study used yearbook photos to discern the strength in two muscles -- one that pulls up on the mouth and one that creates wrinkles around the eyes.
The research found that people who frown in photos are five times more likely to get a divorce than people who smile.
After reading that part, I rushed to my closet to pull out old photos. Heck, my yearbook is at my mother's house but I still have plenty of photos to check out my smile and his because I'm divorced.
The study says that smiling represents a positive disposition toward life. People who smile tend to attract friends or a larger network that may actually contribute to a healthier marriage. Hmmmm.
It also found that people who smile when photographers tell them to may have more obedient personalities and this could be a personality trait that would make a marriage easier.
Wow!
So back to those photos. I started by looking at some childhood photos of me. Oh, I'm cheesy cheese cheesin' and posing.
A few photos from high school and college show a more lady-like smile. I'm smiling but this must be my sexy smile. It is my head-high, but-slightly-tilted-and-shoulders back smile.
In family photos, I'm hugging, posing and smiling. I can feel the love.
And then there's the wedding photos. The photo is of us cutting the cake. Whew! I'm cheesed up.
I'm smiling. My cheekbones are karate-kick high, but the person in the photo with me has a slight grin.
Don't get me wrong the photo is nice.
Shoot, it's really nice but he is not smiling as much as me. When the photographer said, "And a 1 and a 2 and a 3," he was not obedient. Was that a sign?
Did that photo yell, "Ms. Karate Kick High Cheekbones, you will be divorced in a few years?"
But I kept looking at photos. My smile. His. My smile. His. My smile. His.
And I can't lie and heck what's the use. On some, he is a bit more cheesin', but for the most part it is about half and half.
With the photos of me, it looks as if I'm trying to win the the crown for Cheesy Cheese Cheesin'.
There are many studies and they say all sorts of things. For some reason, this one is making me a believer in the why-did-someone-actually-pay for that type of research.
Go ahead and grab your older photos. You know you want to see if you smiled.
You also may want to see older photos of that special someone in your life.
If you don't believe this research has any merit at least you can find out if the person you have eyes for and may be preparing to give your heart to has a nice smile.
Tell me your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
You are rushing to gain a prominent spot. You perk up and lean in and hold your stomach and smile.
It appears that the intensity of smiles captured in photos may actually predict if you will get married but end up joining the Divorce Club.
A LiveScience study found that how much people smile in old photographs can predict the success of a marriage. The study used yearbook photos to discern the strength in two muscles -- one that pulls up on the mouth and one that creates wrinkles around the eyes.
The research found that people who frown in photos are five times more likely to get a divorce than people who smile.
After reading that part, I rushed to my closet to pull out old photos. Heck, my yearbook is at my mother's house but I still have plenty of photos to check out my smile and his because I'm divorced.
The study says that smiling represents a positive disposition toward life. People who smile tend to attract friends or a larger network that may actually contribute to a healthier marriage. Hmmmm.
It also found that people who smile when photographers tell them to may have more obedient personalities and this could be a personality trait that would make a marriage easier.
Wow!
So back to those photos. I started by looking at some childhood photos of me. Oh, I'm cheesy cheese cheesin' and posing.
A few photos from high school and college show a more lady-like smile. I'm smiling but this must be my sexy smile. It is my head-high, but-slightly-tilted-and-shoulders back smile.
In family photos, I'm hugging, posing and smiling. I can feel the love.
And then there's the wedding photos. The photo is of us cutting the cake. Whew! I'm cheesed up.
I'm smiling. My cheekbones are karate-kick high, but the person in the photo with me has a slight grin.
Don't get me wrong the photo is nice.
Shoot, it's really nice but he is not smiling as much as me. When the photographer said, "And a 1 and a 2 and a 3," he was not obedient. Was that a sign?
Did that photo yell, "Ms. Karate Kick High Cheekbones, you will be divorced in a few years?"
But I kept looking at photos. My smile. His. My smile. His. My smile. His.
And I can't lie and heck what's the use. On some, he is a bit more cheesin', but for the most part it is about half and half.
With the photos of me, it looks as if I'm trying to win the the crown for Cheesy Cheese Cheesin'.
There are many studies and they say all sorts of things. For some reason, this one is making me a believer in the why-did-someone-actually-pay for that type of research.
Go ahead and grab your older photos. You know you want to see if you smiled.
You also may want to see older photos of that special someone in your life.
If you don't believe this research has any merit at least you can find out if the person you have eyes for and may be preparing to give your heart to has a nice smile.
Tell me your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
How Does This Dress Look On Me?
"How do I look in this dress?"
The angel and the devil run for their prominent places on the guy's shoulder, and he has but a second to respond.
Most guys probably think, Should I tell my plump sweetheart that it looks awful or be honest about that the color is not flattering to her complexion?
But do women really want to hear anything other than, "You look beautiful" or "I love that dress on you?"
Ummm, I actually ask the question hoping for an honest answer, but I'm not sure most women ask and really want their sweetie to be brutally honest.
People say that women dress for other women, but if you are in a relationship or married you may want to make sure that your booger doesn’t think you need a makeover. Ummm, in other words you may want to wear that outfit he loves.
One of my gfs recently told me that her husband helped her with an outfit for work. She said she was struggling and really didn’t think what she put together looked right.
She asked him and he said, "Nope, that doesn’t look right."
Soon he lept into action to get his boo together.
Shoot, I think you can tell a person anything as long as the right tone is used and the proper action is taken. How can you be mad at a person for being honest and then helping you to get things right?
I’m sure if he had said, “Nah, you look like a hot A$$ mess,” that would not have gone over well.
Ummm, can you say ARRRGUUUUUMENT.
I really believe in honesty but I think that people should try to use tact and sensitivity. I try to do this as well.
Tact. Webster says tact is a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense.
The avoid offense is key, I believe with most women.
But then, I do think that some women do not want to accept the brutal, hurtful, straight-up-now-tell-me (yea, Paula Abdul) truth.
When some women, and this time I’m going to include the guys, go searching for information on credit card and bank statements, cell phone bills and any other documents that will provide confirmation to that gut feeling, are they really ready for the truth?
Are you ready to see that he has been at a hotel when he said he was laid up drunk at a friend's house? Are you ready to find a receipt that shows that when she went out to dinner, she actually paid for her and her OTHER boo?
You’ve found the confirmation. You have the evidence. Now, whatcha gonna do?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
The angel and the devil run for their prominent places on the guy's shoulder, and he has but a second to respond.
Most guys probably think, Should I tell my plump sweetheart that it looks awful or be honest about that the color is not flattering to her complexion?
But do women really want to hear anything other than, "You look beautiful" or "I love that dress on you?"
Ummm, I actually ask the question hoping for an honest answer, but I'm not sure most women ask and really want their sweetie to be brutally honest.
People say that women dress for other women, but if you are in a relationship or married you may want to make sure that your booger doesn’t think you need a makeover. Ummm, in other words you may want to wear that outfit he loves.
One of my gfs recently told me that her husband helped her with an outfit for work. She said she was struggling and really didn’t think what she put together looked right.
She asked him and he said, "Nope, that doesn’t look right."
Soon he lept into action to get his boo together.
Shoot, I think you can tell a person anything as long as the right tone is used and the proper action is taken. How can you be mad at a person for being honest and then helping you to get things right?
I’m sure if he had said, “Nah, you look like a hot A$$ mess,” that would not have gone over well.
Ummm, can you say ARRRGUUUUUMENT.
I really believe in honesty but I think that people should try to use tact and sensitivity. I try to do this as well.
Tact. Webster says tact is a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense.
The avoid offense is key, I believe with most women.
But then, I do think that some women do not want to accept the brutal, hurtful, straight-up-now-tell-me (yea, Paula Abdul) truth.
When some women, and this time I’m going to include the guys, go searching for information on credit card and bank statements, cell phone bills and any other documents that will provide confirmation to that gut feeling, are they really ready for the truth?
Are you ready to see that he has been at a hotel when he said he was laid up drunk at a friend's house? Are you ready to find a receipt that shows that when she went out to dinner, she actually paid for her and her OTHER boo?
You’ve found the confirmation. You have the evidence. Now, whatcha gonna do?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Can Coupons Be Used On First Date?
It’s already been established – right here in the world of Choosing Mr. Wrong – that a cheap man does not usually buy a lady a drink when at the bar or club.
Mr. Cheap wants to talk to you in a social setting but he will not splurge and buy a woman her drink of choice.
But Mr. Cheap is a multifaceted topic, so I've gotta have at it one more gen.
I’ll set the scene for you. There’s a group -- four or five girls -- hanging out. One of the chickie-poos has captured the attention of a guy. He wants to send her drink, but-er-uhh she’s with a POSS-AE.
Is it OK for a guy to send over the lonely cocktail to the table to get cutie pie's attention?
Ummm, NO.
I understand that the economy is bad. Yep, it’s a recession and tough times are abound. But what should a guy do in this situation?
I say lure cutie-pa-tu-tie away from her friends.
“Hello ladies! Would you mind if I steal this lovely lady away from you for just a few moments.”
Whew!
I would spring from my chair like a coil on a fat woman’s mattress when she gets out of bed. And I think a lot of women would.
It is absolutely a no-no, nah, nah, a muscle-bound, cock diesel NO to send one drink to a table full of women. It isn’t just cheap. It’s rude!
But if Mr. Only Wanna Buy One Drink, and I'm not making fun wink, wink, secures a date with the lovely lady, the next move is crucial.
Everybody knows that money does not grow on trees because if it did we would all have a few planted in our backyards.
I am always looking for a way to save some cashola.
I am a bargain shopper. I look for deals.
I also use coupons all the time. As a matter of fact, I am known to carry some really great coupons in my purse for KFC, Arthur Treacher’s and Pet Supermarket.
Shoot, I go through my Valupak when it comes in the mail with a mission. Ummm to save a few buck-a-roos.
But on a FIRST date, stay with me now, FIRST date -- is it OK to whip out the buy-one-get-one-free coupon or any type of coupon at all?
Share your comments with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Mr. Cheap wants to talk to you in a social setting but he will not splurge and buy a woman her drink of choice.
But Mr. Cheap is a multifaceted topic, so I've gotta have at it one more gen.
I’ll set the scene for you. There’s a group -- four or five girls -- hanging out. One of the chickie-poos has captured the attention of a guy. He wants to send her drink, but-er-uhh she’s with a POSS-AE.
Is it OK for a guy to send over the lonely cocktail to the table to get cutie pie's attention?
Ummm, NO.
I understand that the economy is bad. Yep, it’s a recession and tough times are abound. But what should a guy do in this situation?
I say lure cutie-pa-tu-tie away from her friends.
“Hello ladies! Would you mind if I steal this lovely lady away from you for just a few moments.”
Whew!
I would spring from my chair like a coil on a fat woman’s mattress when she gets out of bed. And I think a lot of women would.
It is absolutely a no-no, nah, nah, a muscle-bound, cock diesel NO to send one drink to a table full of women. It isn’t just cheap. It’s rude!
But if Mr. Only Wanna Buy One Drink, and I'm not making fun wink, wink, secures a date with the lovely lady, the next move is crucial.
Everybody knows that money does not grow on trees because if it did we would all have a few planted in our backyards.
I am always looking for a way to save some cashola.
I am a bargain shopper. I look for deals.
I also use coupons all the time. As a matter of fact, I am known to carry some really great coupons in my purse for KFC, Arthur Treacher’s and Pet Supermarket.
Shoot, I go through my Valupak when it comes in the mail with a mission. Ummm to save a few buck-a-roos.
But on a FIRST date, stay with me now, FIRST date -- is it OK to whip out the buy-one-get-one-free coupon or any type of coupon at all?
Share your comments with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Zodiac Signs Reveal Sexual Prowess
"Well, you know I’m a Scorpio."
"I’m a Taurus."
In my opinion, people whose birthdays fall under these two zodiac signs seem to remind others of their sexual prowess the most.
I read my horoscope daily. As a matter of fact, it’s e-mailed to me. I love to even look in the newspaper to see what kind of day I’m having. Five stars, yippee, it’s gonna be a good day!
And because I'm into horoscopes, various things pop in my mind when I meet someone and they tell me their sign.
Geminis, whew, are moody moody umm moody.
Leos, oh my, roar like lions.
Virgos must have it just right, umm, can you say perfectionists.
Cancers, wow, unforgiving.
Capricorns are ewey gewey sweet.
Libras are too dangone indecisive.
But does someone’s horoscope indicate what type of lover they may be?
Hmmmm, I looked up information about my horoscope to try to figure out if there’s any merit to this whole horoscope and sexuality thing.
For Libras www.astrology.com said, “your sexuality is responsive.” Ummm, yea I’ll go with that.
“Your need to relate makes you eager to please.”
And I’ll go with that, too.
“You love to be admired and are more than a little exhibitionistic.”
Yeppers!
“You can be coquettish and even devious in the pursuit of your desires.”
Oh wow, that’s not me.
“Your ego is a little fragile.”
Well, maybe a little.
“Flattery will get them anywhere.”
On da money!
So what about this Scorpio and Taurus sexuality thing.
Scorpio says, "Your sexuality is deep, all-consuming and intense. You seek transformation through the sexual experience, which you never undertake lightly."
OOOOK, so Scorpios are serious.
“Anything is acceptable in your sensual world, for you are interested in the end, not the means. If it blows your mind, or it expands your sexual repertoire, or enables you to exert your dominance, it will be fine by you.”
Well, ahright.
“Admirers should be ready and willing to be consumed, if they wish to get the best from you. Also, if they are looking for some powerful sexual pleasure, they need look no further.”
Wowsa yawsa!
So what’s with the stubborn bull, ummmm I mean Taurus.
“Your sexuality is strong and deep, though not necessarily electric on the surface.”
Bull equals strong so I can see that.
“Indeed, your sexuality is more readily aroused when your appetite for edibles has been assuaged.”
Hmmm, so is this saying that Taurus men and women like chocolates, strawberries, whipped cream and etc. ?
“Admirers should be aware that having opened the floodgates of passion, Taurus can be both insatiable and possessive.”
Oh oh, does this mean a fatal attraction?
Find out your sexuality interpretation at www.astrologycom.com/sex.html
But I’ve looked and it appears that Scorpios may be ummm, quite interesting.
"I’m a Taurus."
In my opinion, people whose birthdays fall under these two zodiac signs seem to remind others of their sexual prowess the most.
I read my horoscope daily. As a matter of fact, it’s e-mailed to me. I love to even look in the newspaper to see what kind of day I’m having. Five stars, yippee, it’s gonna be a good day!
And because I'm into horoscopes, various things pop in my mind when I meet someone and they tell me their sign.
Geminis, whew, are moody moody umm moody.
Leos, oh my, roar like lions.
Virgos must have it just right, umm, can you say perfectionists.
Cancers, wow, unforgiving.
Capricorns are ewey gewey sweet.
Libras are too dangone indecisive.
But does someone’s horoscope indicate what type of lover they may be?
Hmmmm, I looked up information about my horoscope to try to figure out if there’s any merit to this whole horoscope and sexuality thing.
For Libras www.astrology.com said, “your sexuality is responsive.” Ummm, yea I’ll go with that.
“Your need to relate makes you eager to please.”
And I’ll go with that, too.
“You love to be admired and are more than a little exhibitionistic.”
Yeppers!
“You can be coquettish and even devious in the pursuit of your desires.”
Oh wow, that’s not me.
“Your ego is a little fragile.”
Well, maybe a little.
“Flattery will get them anywhere.”
On da money!
So what about this Scorpio and Taurus sexuality thing.
Scorpio says, "Your sexuality is deep, all-consuming and intense. You seek transformation through the sexual experience, which you never undertake lightly."
OOOOK, so Scorpios are serious.
“Anything is acceptable in your sensual world, for you are interested in the end, not the means. If it blows your mind, or it expands your sexual repertoire, or enables you to exert your dominance, it will be fine by you.”
Well, ahright.
“Admirers should be ready and willing to be consumed, if they wish to get the best from you. Also, if they are looking for some powerful sexual pleasure, they need look no further.”
Wowsa yawsa!
So what’s with the stubborn bull, ummmm I mean Taurus.
“Your sexuality is strong and deep, though not necessarily electric on the surface.”
Bull equals strong so I can see that.
“Indeed, your sexuality is more readily aroused when your appetite for edibles has been assuaged.”
Hmmm, so is this saying that Taurus men and women like chocolates, strawberries, whipped cream and etc. ?
“Admirers should be aware that having opened the floodgates of passion, Taurus can be both insatiable and possessive.”
Oh oh, does this mean a fatal attraction?
Find out your sexuality interpretation at www.astrologycom.com/sex.html
But I’ve looked and it appears that Scorpios may be ummm, quite interesting.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Is HE Worth It?
If I'm not sure of anything, I'm sure that the No. 1 man in my life deserves more than what I can give him. He is soooo good to me. Matter of fact, he is better to me than I am to myself.
He is never too busy. And I feel really special knowing that he is a part of my life. Sometimes when I'm engrossed in whatever I'm doing, I think of him and smile on the inside and out. I love him soooo much, or should I say he loves me sooooo much I can feel his presence. I feel secure knowing that he is in my life.
What would I do without my relationship with Christ?
On this Easter Sunday, I find myself thinking about how the Lord has brought me a mighty long way. Ummm, yea, you can call me Pastor Dee.
On this path, HE has given me things I had NEVER known. I've never experienced the peace, happiness and joy that the Lord has recently blessed me with. I thought there were other things in my life that made me happy, but-er-uhh I was wrong. The joy he has filled me with has nothing to do with money, cause ummm, it is a recession.
But more than joy and happiness, Jesus has given me a peace that I didn't realize could be mine.
You've likely heard of an unspeakable joy and I have that, but this is an unspeakable, indescribable peace.
Whew! I LOVE him.
I've done many things in the name of LOVE.
I've gone all out to show my LOVE. Dinner. Candles. And all that! I've found more patience than I thought I had. I've dug deeper than deep for understanding and I've honkered down and fought many battles...all in the name of LOVE.
But why don't I kneel in prayer to a man whose love is 100 percent ALL the time.
For me, kneeling to pray is one of the highlights of worshipping on Sunday morning.
My grandmother who lived to be 100 years old used to get on her knees and when she couldn't get on her knees she would put her knees on the bed and stretch out for prayer. It was sorta a stretched out kneeling position.
This morning, I saw my dad get on his knees to pray before he went church. Yep, I said before!
I rarely get on my knees to pray at home and I pray at home. I pray a lot. I pray while walking, driving, exercising, working, cooking and bathing. I pray.
But why don't I get on my knees when I'm at home to pay honor to a man that I LOVE? Why don't I get on my knees to be humble before the man who has given me three of his most precious gifts -- HAPPINESS, JOY, and PEACE?
He is never too busy. And I feel really special knowing that he is a part of my life. Sometimes when I'm engrossed in whatever I'm doing, I think of him and smile on the inside and out. I love him soooo much, or should I say he loves me sooooo much I can feel his presence. I feel secure knowing that he is in my life.
What would I do without my relationship with Christ?
On this Easter Sunday, I find myself thinking about how the Lord has brought me a mighty long way. Ummm, yea, you can call me Pastor Dee.
On this path, HE has given me things I had NEVER known. I've never experienced the peace, happiness and joy that the Lord has recently blessed me with. I thought there were other things in my life that made me happy, but-er-uhh I was wrong. The joy he has filled me with has nothing to do with money, cause ummm, it is a recession.
But more than joy and happiness, Jesus has given me a peace that I didn't realize could be mine.
You've likely heard of an unspeakable joy and I have that, but this is an unspeakable, indescribable peace.
Whew! I LOVE him.
I've done many things in the name of LOVE.
I've gone all out to show my LOVE. Dinner. Candles. And all that! I've found more patience than I thought I had. I've dug deeper than deep for understanding and I've honkered down and fought many battles...all in the name of LOVE.
But why don't I kneel in prayer to a man whose love is 100 percent ALL the time.
For me, kneeling to pray is one of the highlights of worshipping on Sunday morning.
My grandmother who lived to be 100 years old used to get on her knees and when she couldn't get on her knees she would put her knees on the bed and stretch out for prayer. It was sorta a stretched out kneeling position.
This morning, I saw my dad get on his knees to pray before he went church. Yep, I said before!
I rarely get on my knees to pray at home and I pray at home. I pray a lot. I pray while walking, driving, exercising, working, cooking and bathing. I pray.
But why don't I get on my knees when I'm at home to pay honor to a man that I LOVE? Why don't I get on my knees to be humble before the man who has given me three of his most precious gifts -- HAPPINESS, JOY, and PEACE?
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Coach Helps Women Attract Men
You've likely heard of a love coach. This person is basically someone who deals with all aspects of love and relationships.
But I recently came across a LOVE and ATTRACTION COACH. Mmmmm.
Attraction coach?
My curiousity was really piqued with the whole idea of an attraction coach.
Her Web site, www.inspiredheartcoaching.com, says "Are you ready to begin the journey to find the love of your life? If you're longing for the wonderful relationship you so richly deserve, I'm going to show you the process of becoming powerfully magnetic to your ideal partner."
Mmmmm. Powerfully magnetic to your ideal partner?
So, attracting the love of your life doesn't just happen once you get your hair and nails done and put on the cutest outfit in your closet.
Nope!
The attraction coach says it's important to know yourself and what you want. Nah, not the laundry list of characteristics.
Go ahead ladies make one, but the attraction coach says what's even more important is understanding how you want that person to make you feel.
Whew!
Do you want to feel: Protected. Admired. Loved. Secure?
I listened to a few interviews on the Web site of her talking and she said women need to be in a happy place, a place of joy, to attract a soul mate.
Ultimately, she said the person will come along.
And ummm, she also said there is a scent of desperation. And yep she said guys can smell it.
What are your thoughts about attraction? Do you have to be in a good place to attract the right person? Tell me what you think here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
But I recently came across a LOVE and ATTRACTION COACH. Mmmmm.
Attraction coach?
My curiousity was really piqued with the whole idea of an attraction coach.
Her Web site, www.inspiredheartcoaching.com, says "Are you ready to begin the journey to find the love of your life? If you're longing for the wonderful relationship you so richly deserve, I'm going to show you the process of becoming powerfully magnetic to your ideal partner."
Mmmmm. Powerfully magnetic to your ideal partner?
So, attracting the love of your life doesn't just happen once you get your hair and nails done and put on the cutest outfit in your closet.
Nope!
The attraction coach says it's important to know yourself and what you want. Nah, not the laundry list of characteristics.
Go ahead ladies make one, but the attraction coach says what's even more important is understanding how you want that person to make you feel.
Whew!
Do you want to feel: Protected. Admired. Loved. Secure?
I listened to a few interviews on the Web site of her talking and she said women need to be in a happy place, a place of joy, to attract a soul mate.
Ultimately, she said the person will come along.
And ummm, she also said there is a scent of desperation. And yep she said guys can smell it.
What are your thoughts about attraction? Do you have to be in a good place to attract the right person? Tell me what you think here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Friday, April 10, 2009
What's Your Porn Viewing Habit?
Some women may imagine a romantic evening to involve dinner, music and candles and heck, a piece of jewelry or maybe flowers.
Ummm, roses!
Others may imagine a romantic evening as cuddling and talking and, you know, and cuddling and talking.
Still, there may be more women who see a romantic evening as watching a movie and ummm you know.
But what kind of movie? Can it be pornography?
Can a man and a woman, two women, two women and one man or whatever the combination going at it in titles such as "Heaven On Earth," "Ding Dong Kong" "Va-jay-jays Rule Da World" and "Two DIs Are Not Enough" be romantic?
And no, those are not real titles so please don't head to the nearest video store to request them.
I'll go ahead and answer the question about pornography being romantic. Nope, it's not romantic to me, but it can be fun.
I've heard women say that women in porns are a tough match. These girls have the perkiest boobies, the flattest tummies, roundest booties, make the most erotic sounds and can do some ummm incredible sex acts.
Some of the porn stars are buttock A$$ ugly, but others are cute.
So if your guy enjoys Ms. Fantasy, is he cheating on you when he meets up with her on the TV or the computer for a rendezvous once or a few times a week? Can porn be part of your romantic evening?
Share your thoughts about pornography viewing habits here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Ummm, roses!
Others may imagine a romantic evening as cuddling and talking and, you know, and cuddling and talking.
Still, there may be more women who see a romantic evening as watching a movie and ummm you know.
But what kind of movie? Can it be pornography?
Can a man and a woman, two women, two women and one man or whatever the combination going at it in titles such as "Heaven On Earth," "Ding Dong Kong" "Va-jay-jays Rule Da World" and "Two DIs Are Not Enough" be romantic?
And no, those are not real titles so please don't head to the nearest video store to request them.
I'll go ahead and answer the question about pornography being romantic. Nope, it's not romantic to me, but it can be fun.
I've heard women say that women in porns are a tough match. These girls have the perkiest boobies, the flattest tummies, roundest booties, make the most erotic sounds and can do some ummm incredible sex acts.
Some of the porn stars are buttock A$$ ugly, but others are cute.
So if your guy enjoys Ms. Fantasy, is he cheating on you when he meets up with her on the TV or the computer for a rendezvous once or a few times a week? Can porn be part of your romantic evening?
Share your thoughts about pornography viewing habits here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Snap, Crackle, Poppin' And Nah Uh On A Date
When I'm in a confined space, it's usually really hard for me to deal with an irritating sound.
Yeppers, I've got a few pet peeves.
At work, it's usually the snapping of a pen. You know, the pen that people usually hold in their hand and use their thumb like they have a nervous condition to push on the retractable top.
Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap!
I have approached a few co-workers with the phoniest of phony smiles and said, "Can we trade pens?" Usually, I'm carry a pen with only a cap saying, but not saying, no snapping, pluuuueeeze!
Then there are the women who are walking in the heels that need taps. This happens at work, at the store, shoot everywhere.
You know her. She has walked her shoes or boots down to the silver part in the heel so when she walks there's a clickity clack, clickity clack, clickity clack.
Wheeew! Take your shoes to the shop or get a new pair. You are about to make me lose my mind. And I'm wishing that you would ummmm fall.
And then there is Ms. Poppin' Gum! Her chewing resembles a cow and is poppin'.
Ahhhhhh! I'm screaming on the inside and holding my head in my hands.
My dad always told me that poppin' gum was NOT lady like, so I don't pop gum. Why didn't other folk's father's tell them that poppin' gum is NOT LADY LIKE?! Grrr!
Who wants to be around a woman poppin' gum like there is no tomorrow? I mean, what's the point? I could see blowing bubbles. That's fun!
But what's with poppin' gum? It's bad. Wheeeew, it's bad.
But-er-uuuuh, what is worse is a man poppin' gum!
Yep, a M-A-N poppin' gum!
This guy took me to see a movie, and while driving to the theater, I heard "snap, crackle, pop," and nope there were no Rice Krispies around.
"What Da Fudge? Seriously, is he poppin' his gum," I think to myself.
"Snap, crackle, pop. Snap, crackle, pop. Pop. Pop. Pop."
And because I usually don't bite my tongue, I said, "Ummm, are you popping your gum?"
"Oh, that bothers you?"
"Hecky, yea that bothers me!"
He probably was put off a bit by my honesty but I was trippin' because I didn't know guys popped gum. I mean, what GUY does that?
There was a bit of chatter between us and then I started hearing it again.
"Snap, crackle, pop. Snap, crackle, pop. Pop. Pop. Pop."
"Dude! Dude! Pluuuuueeze stop poppin' that gum!"
He begrudgingly took the gum out of his mouth.
I wanted to say, "You should be banned from buying gum. Try mints," but I remained quiet.
And I was really turned off, uggg.
What are some things that have driven you crazy on a date? Or what drives you crazy about your significant other? Tell me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Yeppers, I've got a few pet peeves.
At work, it's usually the snapping of a pen. You know, the pen that people usually hold in their hand and use their thumb like they have a nervous condition to push on the retractable top.
Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap!
I have approached a few co-workers with the phoniest of phony smiles and said, "Can we trade pens?" Usually, I'm carry a pen with only a cap saying, but not saying, no snapping, pluuuueeeze!
Then there are the women who are walking in the heels that need taps. This happens at work, at the store, shoot everywhere.
You know her. She has walked her shoes or boots down to the silver part in the heel so when she walks there's a clickity clack, clickity clack, clickity clack.
Wheeew! Take your shoes to the shop or get a new pair. You are about to make me lose my mind. And I'm wishing that you would ummmm fall.
And then there is Ms. Poppin' Gum! Her chewing resembles a cow and is poppin'.
Ahhhhhh! I'm screaming on the inside and holding my head in my hands.
My dad always told me that poppin' gum was NOT lady like, so I don't pop gum. Why didn't other folk's father's tell them that poppin' gum is NOT LADY LIKE?! Grrr!
Who wants to be around a woman poppin' gum like there is no tomorrow? I mean, what's the point? I could see blowing bubbles. That's fun!
But what's with poppin' gum? It's bad. Wheeeew, it's bad.
But-er-uuuuh, what is worse is a man poppin' gum!
Yep, a M-A-N poppin' gum!
This guy took me to see a movie, and while driving to the theater, I heard "snap, crackle, pop," and nope there were no Rice Krispies around.
"What Da Fudge? Seriously, is he poppin' his gum," I think to myself.
"Snap, crackle, pop. Snap, crackle, pop. Pop. Pop. Pop."
And because I usually don't bite my tongue, I said, "Ummm, are you popping your gum?"
"Oh, that bothers you?"
"Hecky, yea that bothers me!"
He probably was put off a bit by my honesty but I was trippin' because I didn't know guys popped gum. I mean, what GUY does that?
There was a bit of chatter between us and then I started hearing it again.
"Snap, crackle, pop. Snap, crackle, pop. Pop. Pop. Pop."
"Dude! Dude! Pluuuuueeze stop poppin' that gum!"
He begrudgingly took the gum out of his mouth.
I wanted to say, "You should be banned from buying gum. Try mints," but I remained quiet.
And I was really turned off, uggg.
What are some things that have driven you crazy on a date? Or what drives you crazy about your significant other? Tell me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Does 'Marriage Material' Trump A Freak?
A male friend told me not too long ago, "You are marriage material."
Mmmmmm.
Do I say, "Thank You?"
Instead I said, "What do you mean?"
He said, "I know women, believe me, and you are marriage material."
"OOOOOOK."
This comment perplexed me a bit. I thought I was supposed to take it as a compliment but is it a good thing for a man to say to a woman that he likes that she is "marriage material?"
What comprises marriage material? Is she someone you would introduce to your mom? But-err-ummm, is she a dud? And not the type of girl that you can drink shots with, watch a game with, travel with, shoot, have fun with?
Marriage material, at least in the context that he used it, made me think ummm, you are nice, umm I think you would be a good mother, ummm, you will clean up the house, ummmm, you will cook and ummm, you will hold down a household.
All that is true. Yea, I'm pattin' myself on the back.
But then there's the party girl comment. Party girls usually like to ummm partaaaay. And I oooooweeeee I really like to have a good time. So are partaaay girls not marriage material?
OK, what about girls who are the freak of the week? Do they NOT make good wives? "I want a lady in the streets and a freak in the bedroom," seems to be the mantra of all males these days.
Sooooo, if a man has a freak only thing he would have to do is teach her to be a bit more refined in public. Right?
I've been married, so I would have to say, yep, I'm marriage material.
I consider myself the total package, ummm, pretty, smart, I have values and morals, I have a J-O-B, I come from a good family (no quack pots in the immediate fam,) I'm a God-fearing woman, I'm fun to be around and umm, I really could go on.
Any who.
If someone walked up to you and said, "You are a party girl" is that a compliment? Shoot, what's wrong with having a little fun.
And ummmm, is "You are a freak" a compliment?
Or is you are "Marriage Material" the ultimate compliment?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Mmmmmm.
Do I say, "Thank You?"
Instead I said, "What do you mean?"
He said, "I know women, believe me, and you are marriage material."
"OOOOOOK."
This comment perplexed me a bit. I thought I was supposed to take it as a compliment but is it a good thing for a man to say to a woman that he likes that she is "marriage material?"
What comprises marriage material? Is she someone you would introduce to your mom? But-err-ummm, is she a dud? And not the type of girl that you can drink shots with, watch a game with, travel with, shoot, have fun with?
Marriage material, at least in the context that he used it, made me think ummm, you are nice, umm I think you would be a good mother, ummm, you will clean up the house, ummmm, you will cook and ummm, you will hold down a household.
All that is true. Yea, I'm pattin' myself on the back.
But then there's the party girl comment. Party girls usually like to ummm partaaaay. And I oooooweeeee I really like to have a good time. So are partaaay girls not marriage material?
OK, what about girls who are the freak of the week? Do they NOT make good wives? "I want a lady in the streets and a freak in the bedroom," seems to be the mantra of all males these days.
Sooooo, if a man has a freak only thing he would have to do is teach her to be a bit more refined in public. Right?
I've been married, so I would have to say, yep, I'm marriage material.
I consider myself the total package, ummm, pretty, smart, I have values and morals, I have a J-O-B, I come from a good family (no quack pots in the immediate fam,) I'm a God-fearing woman, I'm fun to be around and umm, I really could go on.
Any who.
If someone walked up to you and said, "You are a party girl" is that a compliment? Shoot, what's wrong with having a little fun.
And ummmm, is "You are a freak" a compliment?
Or is you are "Marriage Material" the ultimate compliment?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Celibate Woman Uses Showerhead
What is celibacy?
If you use the definition in Webster it means the "abstention from sexual intercourse."
But if a person decides to abstain until marriage, should other forms of sexual activity be involved. Y'all know what I'm talking about.
Is it OK to say that you are celibate and you do everything but have intercourse?
Can you get your boobies, ummm, you know?
Can you have oral sex?
Ummmm, does a celibate person masturbate?
One of my gfs, and yea, I know I always say one of my friends. But one of my gfs said that she was at a women's day conference when a woman stood up and said, "I am celibate, but a woman has needs. And for those needs I use my showerhead."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOK!
Yep, she said it in church, so I surely hope she was telling the truth but ummm, if she was telling the truth is she wrong for admitting that she pleases herself with a showerhead, even though she says she is celibate?
Old School Celibates say that a celibate person should not engage in any form of sexual pleasure. And there are still people who believe that masturbating is just wrong, wrong, wrong. They see it almost as disgraceful as watching a porn or going to a sex store and buying a dildo.
New School Celibates seem to think everything else is OK except the actual "Do."
What does being celibate mean to you? Please share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
If you use the definition in Webster it means the "abstention from sexual intercourse."
But if a person decides to abstain until marriage, should other forms of sexual activity be involved. Y'all know what I'm talking about.
Is it OK to say that you are celibate and you do everything but have intercourse?
Can you get your boobies, ummm, you know?
Can you have oral sex?
Ummmm, does a celibate person masturbate?
One of my gfs, and yea, I know I always say one of my friends. But one of my gfs said that she was at a women's day conference when a woman stood up and said, "I am celibate, but a woman has needs. And for those needs I use my showerhead."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOK!
Yep, she said it in church, so I surely hope she was telling the truth but ummm, if she was telling the truth is she wrong for admitting that she pleases herself with a showerhead, even though she says she is celibate?
Old School Celibates say that a celibate person should not engage in any form of sexual pleasure. And there are still people who believe that masturbating is just wrong, wrong, wrong. They see it almost as disgraceful as watching a porn or going to a sex store and buying a dildo.
New School Celibates seem to think everything else is OK except the actual "Do."
What does being celibate mean to you? Please share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Mr. Cheap Does Not Buy Cocktails
"It was necessary for me to walk out on him," one of my friends recently said to me about a date.
She was on a date with a guy at a restaurant. He went to the bar to get a drink and to order THEIR food. He didn't ask her what she would like to eat.
He returned to the table with my friend a cup of water, a cocktail for himself and a plate of food for them to share.
Wow! What would you do?
My gf took a trip to the restroom and then continued on out the backdoor.
When she told the story, I laughed and laughed and laughed.
"Get outta here." "Nah, he didn't do that." "Please, are you serious?"
She was serious and this really happened to her. I'm happy that her cheap-man meter went off and she was able to get away.
But I have a few tips on how to determine if a date may be cheap.
1.) Constantly talking about money. Beware of the man who finds a way to bring up his financial situation in every conversation. Look for statements like, "I'm trying to get my finances together."
Ummm, this means he does not have money for a date.
2.) You ask him to bring something over to complete a meal that you are preparing and he brings the tiniest jar of mayo, ketchup or mustard he can find.
This guy may actually be sitting on his stacks of money, but miniature-size condiments definitely mean that he is a tight wad. Cheapola!
3.) He asks you if you have condoms.
Ummm, condoms are expensive so Mr. Cheap does not have any. Yes, ladies should carry condoms but if a guy doesn't have one on him, ummm, it means he's saved his cash, and he is cheap!
4.) If you are at a nightclub or bar and he talks to you for about 20 minutes and doesn't offer to buy you a cocktail. Ummm, your glass can be full or empty. It does not matter.
He is showing you his hand right off the bat. He will monopolize your time and give you notta, notta, notta thing in return.
5.) If he says he is cheap.
Yep, this is one of those things that he can tell you better than he can show you. If a guy says he's cheap. He is cheap.
Other buzz words are economically-sensible, conscientious with my money, don't spend money unnecessarily. Some guys will just admit it. "Yea, I'm cheap."
And if he says it, he means it! Who admits to being cheap? Only someone who is really cheap!!!
Wouldn't your eyes pop out of your head if a guy said, "Hey Sexy! I would love to take you out sometime. And ummm, I'm cheap as hell."
She was on a date with a guy at a restaurant. He went to the bar to get a drink and to order THEIR food. He didn't ask her what she would like to eat.
He returned to the table with my friend a cup of water, a cocktail for himself and a plate of food for them to share.
Wow! What would you do?
My gf took a trip to the restroom and then continued on out the backdoor.
When she told the story, I laughed and laughed and laughed.
"Get outta here." "Nah, he didn't do that." "Please, are you serious?"
She was serious and this really happened to her. I'm happy that her cheap-man meter went off and she was able to get away.
But I have a few tips on how to determine if a date may be cheap.
1.) Constantly talking about money. Beware of the man who finds a way to bring up his financial situation in every conversation. Look for statements like, "I'm trying to get my finances together."
Ummm, this means he does not have money for a date.
2.) You ask him to bring something over to complete a meal that you are preparing and he brings the tiniest jar of mayo, ketchup or mustard he can find.
This guy may actually be sitting on his stacks of money, but miniature-size condiments definitely mean that he is a tight wad. Cheapola!
3.) He asks you if you have condoms.
Ummm, condoms are expensive so Mr. Cheap does not have any. Yes, ladies should carry condoms but if a guy doesn't have one on him, ummm, it means he's saved his cash, and he is cheap!
4.) If you are at a nightclub or bar and he talks to you for about 20 minutes and doesn't offer to buy you a cocktail. Ummm, your glass can be full or empty. It does not matter.
He is showing you his hand right off the bat. He will monopolize your time and give you notta, notta, notta thing in return.
5.) If he says he is cheap.
Yep, this is one of those things that he can tell you better than he can show you. If a guy says he's cheap. He is cheap.
Other buzz words are economically-sensible, conscientious with my money, don't spend money unnecessarily. Some guys will just admit it. "Yea, I'm cheap."
And if he says it, he means it! Who admits to being cheap? Only someone who is really cheap!!!
Wouldn't your eyes pop out of your head if a guy said, "Hey Sexy! I would love to take you out sometime. And ummm, I'm cheap as hell."
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Invasion Of Short Men
My ideal guy is praying, brown, tall, average build, smart, ambitious with a pretty smile. Ummm, this is the short list.
I went out with two of my gfs on Friday and because I'm a member of the D Club (Divorce Club) I actually looked around a bit. I mean getting married didn't mean my eyes got gouged out but I honestly didn't look at men with eyes for possibility.
I would just get a quick once over and then skip on home.
On Friday, I saw guys that were chokalakahs and well dressed. Mmmmm. But I saw a lot of short men. If I had to give the night a movie title, it would be "The Invasion of Short Men."
Well, let me explain my short. My short is 5'9 and under. I used to say under 6 feet but then I realized one of my ex-boyfriends, who I consider to be in the Supa Sexy club was 5'10. Who knew? I just remembered the brown skin, goatee, light blue baseball cap, (cap he was wearing when I first saw him) how much of a gentleman he was and how much fun we had. Partaaay!
Any who, after a glass of wine, Mother Nature summoned me. I felt like the Jolly Green Giant walking through the crowd, and I'm only 5'1.
What's with this? Am I at the munchkin party?
I am not attracted to guys that I can look straight into their eyes. It's something about looking up to a man oooo weee. I don't know why so don't ask. I've learned that there are some things I just don't understand about myself. My personal mantra: "It is what it is."
But then while driving home, I kept hearing my girlfriend's voice in my head. "So you would rather have a tall guy who treats you like shit?"
"You should know that good things come in small packages," I've been told.
"Short guys are holding (in their pants)," yet another girlfriend has said.
Mmmm, maybe I need to reconsider my thoughts about the vertically challenged.
I went out with two of my gfs on Friday and because I'm a member of the D Club (Divorce Club) I actually looked around a bit. I mean getting married didn't mean my eyes got gouged out but I honestly didn't look at men with eyes for possibility.
I would just get a quick once over and then skip on home.
On Friday, I saw guys that were chokalakahs and well dressed. Mmmmm. But I saw a lot of short men. If I had to give the night a movie title, it would be "The Invasion of Short Men."
Well, let me explain my short. My short is 5'9 and under. I used to say under 6 feet but then I realized one of my ex-boyfriends, who I consider to be in the Supa Sexy club was 5'10. Who knew? I just remembered the brown skin, goatee, light blue baseball cap, (cap he was wearing when I first saw him) how much of a gentleman he was and how much fun we had. Partaaay!
Any who, after a glass of wine, Mother Nature summoned me. I felt like the Jolly Green Giant walking through the crowd, and I'm only 5'1.
What's with this? Am I at the munchkin party?
I am not attracted to guys that I can look straight into their eyes. It's something about looking up to a man oooo weee. I don't know why so don't ask. I've learned that there are some things I just don't understand about myself. My personal mantra: "It is what it is."
But then while driving home, I kept hearing my girlfriend's voice in my head. "So you would rather have a tall guy who treats you like shit?"
"You should know that good things come in small packages," I've been told.
"Short guys are holding (in their pants)," yet another girlfriend has said.
Mmmm, maybe I need to reconsider my thoughts about the vertically challenged.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Sleeping Nude Is Not Always About Sex
"I do not want nobody's naked body laying next to me," one of my gfs said to me recently after a few drinks.
What! What! What!
Surely, she's had too much to drink, I think. Or shoot, maybe I've had too much.
We were having a conversation about sleeping nude.
She has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for several years but she told me that after diggity, she will ask him to get up and put on some boxers.
What! What! What!
I gotta be drunk because I can't possibly be hearing this correctly.
Ummm, you actually ask your man, your dude, your boo to put on something. Wow!
Why?
She repeats, reaffirms, reiterates, restates, retells, restates, "I do not want nobody's naked body laying next to me."
But what is wrong with it? And what if he wants to sleep in the buff? And what is wrong with you? You have a problem.
"You just nasty!" she shoots back.
Sleeping naked ain't nasty.
According to the Comfortable Sleeping In The Nude Society, millions of people sleep buuuuucket naked on a regular basis. Ummm, well there is no Comfortable Sleeping In The Nude Society, but there should be.
And there should also be a Comfortable Walking Around In The Nude Society.
I am most comfy at home when I'm scantily clad. I go to the bathroom buuuuuucket naked in the middle of the night. I fix something to eat wearing only panties. I iron clothes for work wearing only my panties and bra. As a matter of fact, I think my neighbor may have seen me this morning. Oooops!
I've never been to a nude beach but I would go, strip down and be chillaxin' without a second thought. Ahhhhh, freee!
A nudist is a person who practices nudity for reasons of health or religion. It's definitely not my religion so it must be for my health.
PJs make me uncomfortable. They sorta feel like what I imagine a straightjacket to feel like, ummm, restricted.
And I do remember my mother telling me to let it get some air when I was a little girl.
Heck, I'm a closet nudist. Well, ummmm maybe it's not in the closet so much anymore.
And I like being nude when I sleep alone so it's not a sexual thing.
Sooooo, should I hold back after a first sexual encounter and act like I sleep in PJs or be my NUDIST self?
E-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com or leave your comments here.
What! What! What!
Surely, she's had too much to drink, I think. Or shoot, maybe I've had too much.
We were having a conversation about sleeping nude.
She has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for several years but she told me that after diggity, she will ask him to get up and put on some boxers.
What! What! What!
I gotta be drunk because I can't possibly be hearing this correctly.
Ummm, you actually ask your man, your dude, your boo to put on something. Wow!
Why?
She repeats, reaffirms, reiterates, restates, retells, restates, "I do not want nobody's naked body laying next to me."
But what is wrong with it? And what if he wants to sleep in the buff? And what is wrong with you? You have a problem.
"You just nasty!" she shoots back.
Sleeping naked ain't nasty.
According to the Comfortable Sleeping In The Nude Society, millions of people sleep buuuuucket naked on a regular basis. Ummm, well there is no Comfortable Sleeping In The Nude Society, but there should be.
And there should also be a Comfortable Walking Around In The Nude Society.
I am most comfy at home when I'm scantily clad. I go to the bathroom buuuuuucket naked in the middle of the night. I fix something to eat wearing only panties. I iron clothes for work wearing only my panties and bra. As a matter of fact, I think my neighbor may have seen me this morning. Oooops!
I've never been to a nude beach but I would go, strip down and be chillaxin' without a second thought. Ahhhhh, freee!
A nudist is a person who practices nudity for reasons of health or religion. It's definitely not my religion so it must be for my health.
PJs make me uncomfortable. They sorta feel like what I imagine a straightjacket to feel like, ummm, restricted.
And I do remember my mother telling me to let it get some air when I was a little girl.
Heck, I'm a closet nudist. Well, ummmm maybe it's not in the closet so much anymore.
And I like being nude when I sleep alone so it's not a sexual thing.
Sooooo, should I hold back after a first sexual encounter and act like I sleep in PJs or be my NUDIST self?
E-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com or leave your comments here.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Jasmine Wants His Heart, Marriage
The following is written in the voice of Jasmine Toder, a 27-year-old office manager for a doctor’s office. She is dating a 30-year-old attorney, Tate Jackson. Jasmine is a character in "Choosing Mr. Wrong."
---------------------------------------------
As I awake, I reach over for Tate. Wow! These 500-count blue sheets feel good against my body, but I do not feel Tate.
There’s a note on the pillow.
“Good Morning, My Sweet J! Gotta run to the office to get a file. I’ll bring your favorite breakfast when I return. One sexual favor deserves another. Love T.”
And as usual, he drew a heart with a smiley face inside.
I doze back off but I soon smell breakfast.
Tate found heart-shaped plates and flutes with hearts as the base at a store somewhere and as I peer around the corner into the kitchen, I see him setting everything up.
“Hey, Tate.”
“Hey, J. How did you sleep?”
“Like a newborn babe,” I respond and chuckle.
“I have your favorite breakfast – cheesy eggs, sausage, grits and toast.”
“Thanks, Babe.”
“I also stopped at the market and picked up fresh strawberries for later.”
He looks over at me and raises his brows a bit to make a face showing surprise.
I stare back but he doesn’t realize that I am looking at his golden brown-skin and bald head, his goatee and whew those nice muscular arms in that fitted green T-shirt.
The “I’ll drop you off at your car after breakfast J,” comment brought my attention back to breakfast.
He finishes setting the table and we sit down to eat. Just when we have both just about cleared our plates, I say, “T, don’t you think what we have is really special?”
“The sex,” he responds.
“No, T. Us. Everything about us.”
“Yes, J.”
“So do you see us being together forever?”
“J, why do you always have to talk about marriage.”
“What do you mean?” I answer.
“J, you know. Stop acting crazy.”
I’m up from the table and heading for the bedroom. Oh, I have to get out of here. Acting crazy. No he didn’t just say that to me.
My furiously fast pace goes unnoticed. Tate is still sitting at the table drinking his mimosa.
“Hmmm, I don’t want anything else but to get out of here. Stick those strawberries up your nose,” I say to myself.
“T, I’m ready. Can you take me to my car?”
“Sure, babe. You aren’t upset are you?” he says.
“Should I be?”
“No. You know I love you, girl,” he says.
I’m soon back at my car and this time it’s me rushing to get out of Tate’s car. I reach over and give him a peck.
“Bye, babe,” he says.
“Bye,” and I lunge from his car like a track star.
Soon, I’m home and I grab the keys out of the ignition and head toward my door. I unlock it and before I’m in the house, my cell phone is ringing.
I look at the phone and say, “What? What do you want. I’m acting crazy, remember.”
I push end and head for the bathroom.
"I’m going to get cleaned up and make it a spa day. I’m gonna get a full body massage including the cranial massage and refloxology," I say to myself while standing in front of the mirror.
Crazy. I’ll show him crazy."
---------------------------------------------
As I awake, I reach over for Tate. Wow! These 500-count blue sheets feel good against my body, but I do not feel Tate.
There’s a note on the pillow.
“Good Morning, My Sweet J! Gotta run to the office to get a file. I’ll bring your favorite breakfast when I return. One sexual favor deserves another. Love T.”
And as usual, he drew a heart with a smiley face inside.
I doze back off but I soon smell breakfast.
Tate found heart-shaped plates and flutes with hearts as the base at a store somewhere and as I peer around the corner into the kitchen, I see him setting everything up.
“Hey, Tate.”
“Hey, J. How did you sleep?”
“Like a newborn babe,” I respond and chuckle.
“I have your favorite breakfast – cheesy eggs, sausage, grits and toast.”
“Thanks, Babe.”
“I also stopped at the market and picked up fresh strawberries for later.”
He looks over at me and raises his brows a bit to make a face showing surprise.
I stare back but he doesn’t realize that I am looking at his golden brown-skin and bald head, his goatee and whew those nice muscular arms in that fitted green T-shirt.
The “I’ll drop you off at your car after breakfast J,” comment brought my attention back to breakfast.
He finishes setting the table and we sit down to eat. Just when we have both just about cleared our plates, I say, “T, don’t you think what we have is really special?”
“The sex,” he responds.
“No, T. Us. Everything about us.”
“Yes, J.”
“So do you see us being together forever?”
“J, why do you always have to talk about marriage.”
“What do you mean?” I answer.
“J, you know. Stop acting crazy.”
I’m up from the table and heading for the bedroom. Oh, I have to get out of here. Acting crazy. No he didn’t just say that to me.
My furiously fast pace goes unnoticed. Tate is still sitting at the table drinking his mimosa.
“Hmmm, I don’t want anything else but to get out of here. Stick those strawberries up your nose,” I say to myself.
“T, I’m ready. Can you take me to my car?”
“Sure, babe. You aren’t upset are you?” he says.
“Should I be?”
“No. You know I love you, girl,” he says.
I’m soon back at my car and this time it’s me rushing to get out of Tate’s car. I reach over and give him a peck.
“Bye, babe,” he says.
“Bye,” and I lunge from his car like a track star.
Soon, I’m home and I grab the keys out of the ignition and head toward my door. I unlock it and before I’m in the house, my cell phone is ringing.
I look at the phone and say, “What? What do you want. I’m acting crazy, remember.”
I push end and head for the bathroom.
"I’m going to get cleaned up and make it a spa day. I’m gonna get a full body massage including the cranial massage and refloxology," I say to myself while standing in front of the mirror.
Crazy. I’ll show him crazy."
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Women Work Out For Men?
I’ve wanted to shed 10 pounds for the past few months, so I’ve finally made a decision to stop jackin’ my jaws and do something.
Not too long ago, I was Foxy Roxy. Well, I’m still Foxy Roxy, but I got about 5 pounds away from my goal weight, but then gosh darnit, I gained 5.
Booooo!
Actually I would like to lose 15, but 15 hasn’t been viewed as a favorable amount among family members and friends.
Anywho, I’ve made a decision to make a workout commitment and join a local boot camp.
I had success with another boot camp a few years back so I’m very excited.
But because I’ve done this crazy-sweat-like-a-maniac workout stuff before, I know it will wreak havoc on a girl’s hair. Sooooooo, as soon as I made up my mind to get the poundage off, I started thinking about my hair.
I can wear it swirly curly because I do not have a relaxer or I can pull it back into a ponytail.
Yikes! I can see the Bad Hair Days now.
But then I started thinking: Bad Hair Days or unhealthy? Bad Hair Days or Pillsbury Dough Girl?
Forget about my hair, I’m gonna figure out a way to take this in stride. I want to be Sleek and Svelte for the summertime and ummm, wintertime too.
Interestingly, while going through my divorce, I was jogging every morning instead of a couple times a week.
My life was getting ready to CHANGE and I can’t say that I was fearless. Oh, I was scurrrred, but I was praying and praying and praying and jogging.
I also was hoping that stress would give me a few complimentary pounds, but I got a letter in the mail from the Stress Department that read, “Oh, you gonna have to work out to lose weight. P.S. We are not even going to take your appetite.”
I tore the letter up into little pieces and put on my tennis shoes. Dag!
But then recently, I heard a woman say something like women work out to look good for men. Well, yea and no. I wanna work out so that my jeans look supa dupa good on me.
I wanna work out so that I feel good. I wanna work out so that I look good and feel good.
But I’m gonna go ahead and submit my receipt for refund to the Women Who Work Out To Look Good For Men Department and see if I can get my money back.
Not too long ago, I was Foxy Roxy. Well, I’m still Foxy Roxy, but I got about 5 pounds away from my goal weight, but then gosh darnit, I gained 5.
Booooo!
Actually I would like to lose 15, but 15 hasn’t been viewed as a favorable amount among family members and friends.
Anywho, I’ve made a decision to make a workout commitment and join a local boot camp.
I had success with another boot camp a few years back so I’m very excited.
But because I’ve done this crazy-sweat-like-a-maniac workout stuff before, I know it will wreak havoc on a girl’s hair. Sooooooo, as soon as I made up my mind to get the poundage off, I started thinking about my hair.
I can wear it swirly curly because I do not have a relaxer or I can pull it back into a ponytail.
Yikes! I can see the Bad Hair Days now.
But then I started thinking: Bad Hair Days or unhealthy? Bad Hair Days or Pillsbury Dough Girl?
Forget about my hair, I’m gonna figure out a way to take this in stride. I want to be Sleek and Svelte for the summertime and ummm, wintertime too.
Interestingly, while going through my divorce, I was jogging every morning instead of a couple times a week.
My life was getting ready to CHANGE and I can’t say that I was fearless. Oh, I was scurrrred, but I was praying and praying and praying and jogging.
I also was hoping that stress would give me a few complimentary pounds, but I got a letter in the mail from the Stress Department that read, “Oh, you gonna have to work out to lose weight. P.S. We are not even going to take your appetite.”
I tore the letter up into little pieces and put on my tennis shoes. Dag!
But then recently, I heard a woman say something like women work out to look good for men. Well, yea and no. I wanna work out so that my jeans look supa dupa good on me.
I wanna work out so that I feel good. I wanna work out so that I look good and feel good.
But I’m gonna go ahead and submit my receipt for refund to the Women Who Work Out To Look Good For Men Department and see if I can get my money back.
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