A male friend told me not too long ago, "You are marriage material."
Mmmmmm.
Do I say, "Thank You?"
Instead I said, "What do you mean?"
He said, "I know women, believe me, and you are marriage material."
"OOOOOOK."
This comment perplexed me a bit. I thought I was supposed to take it as a compliment but is it a good thing for a man to say to a woman that he likes that she is "marriage material?"
What comprises marriage material? Is she someone you would introduce to your mom? But-err-ummm, is she a dud? And not the type of girl that you can drink shots with, watch a game with, travel with, shoot, have fun with?
Marriage material, at least in the context that he used it, made me think ummm, you are nice, umm I think you would be a good mother, ummm, you will clean up the house, ummmm, you will cook and ummm, you will hold down a household.
All that is true. Yea, I'm pattin' myself on the back.
But then there's the party girl comment. Party girls usually like to ummm partaaaay. And I oooooweeeee I really like to have a good time. So are partaaay girls not marriage material?
OK, what about girls who are the freak of the week? Do they NOT make good wives? "I want a lady in the streets and a freak in the bedroom," seems to be the mantra of all males these days.
Sooooo, if a man has a freak only thing he would have to do is teach her to be a bit more refined in public. Right?
I've been married, so I would have to say, yep, I'm marriage material.
I consider myself the total package, ummm, pretty, smart, I have values and morals, I have a J-O-B, I come from a good family (no quack pots in the immediate fam,) I'm a God-fearing woman, I'm fun to be around and umm, I really could go on.
Any who.
If someone walked up to you and said, "You are a party girl" is that a compliment? Shoot, what's wrong with having a little fun.
And ummmm, is "You are a freak" a compliment?
Or is you are "Marriage Material" the ultimate compliment?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
I swear you have the best blog. I was once told that I was a "Prize Catch." That took me back. He explained that as a single woman, with a job, a degree and NO KIDS, that I was a rare prize. Then he started playing with my hair. At the time, I was glad that I was practicing abstinence cuz he had "breeding" in his eyes. I don't know what the ultimate compliment would be but it would sound like "I want to be with you forever, care for you when you are sick, love you when you are disagreeable and when I look in your eyes I see our future children."
ReplyDeleteThe lack of culture in the way we (black people) approach relationships gives me pause, I could have four different comments on this one and still be right.
ReplyDelete