"How do I look in this dress?"
The angel and the devil run for their prominent places on the guy's shoulder, and he has but a second to respond.
Most guys probably think, Should I tell my plump sweetheart that it looks awful or be honest about that the color is not flattering to her complexion?
But do women really want to hear anything other than, "You look beautiful" or "I love that dress on you?"
Ummm, I actually ask the question hoping for an honest answer, but I'm not sure most women ask and really want their sweetie to be brutally honest.
People say that women dress for other women, but if you are in a relationship or married you may want to make sure that your booger doesn’t think you need a makeover. Ummm, in other words you may want to wear that outfit he loves.
One of my gfs recently told me that her husband helped her with an outfit for work. She said she was struggling and really didn’t think what she put together looked right.
She asked him and he said, "Nope, that doesn’t look right."
Soon he lept into action to get his boo together.
Shoot, I think you can tell a person anything as long as the right tone is used and the proper action is taken. How can you be mad at a person for being honest and then helping you to get things right?
I’m sure if he had said, “Nah, you look like a hot A$$ mess,” that would not have gone over well.
Ummm, can you say ARRRGUUUUUMENT.
I really believe in honesty but I think that people should try to use tact and sensitivity. I try to do this as well.
Tact. Webster says tact is a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense.
The avoid offense is key, I believe with most women.
But then, I do think that some women do not want to accept the brutal, hurtful, straight-up-now-tell-me (yea, Paula Abdul) truth.
When some women, and this time I’m going to include the guys, go searching for information on credit card and bank statements, cell phone bills and any other documents that will provide confirmation to that gut feeling, are they really ready for the truth?
Are you ready to see that he has been at a hotel when he said he was laid up drunk at a friend's house? Are you ready to find a receipt that shows that when she went out to dinner, she actually paid for her and her OTHER boo?
You’ve found the confirmation. You have the evidence. Now, whatcha gonna do?
Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
No one ever wants to know that their significant other is stepping out on them, believe me, I know. It is the most humiliating, debilitating, self-esteem and confidence killer...I could go on and on. But it is better knowing than to allow someone to continue to make a fool out of you behind your back. What do you do then? You make a choice, one that you are not given the opportunely to make by not knowing.
ReplyDeleteI once saw tact defined as, "the ability to tell someone to go to hell, so that they anticipate the trip."
ReplyDeleteBut I digress, candor is a dual edged sword. While it easy to give the quick and hurtful answer, don't be surprised if you get one back.
I must agree that true tact takes time. I have always been careful never to repeat anything told in onfidence or in a moment of weekness. The problem is I have yet to find a woman that has that ability, During an argument women or I should say the women that I have been involved with go straight for the throat and want to apologize later. For me there is no later. if you said it, angry or not, you meant it, and you can never take it back.
In moments of anger and passion our true natures are revealed... as you stated in another blog, "we are animals."
We are arguable an evolved animal, but animals none the less.