He/She Is Not Feelin' You

Have you ever looked back on a relationship and said, "I didn't see an obvious sign that he or she was not feeling me?"

I'm not sure if there was a collective nod of heads, but I'll be the first to admit that I have.

On my journey to find love, I have been a bit too focused on the end result and did not enjoy the beauty of the trip.

If you were to take a drive through the beautiful mountains of Salt Lake City, Utah, you wouldn't just drive to the end of the road and then look up.

You would enjoy the scenery while traveling along, right?

If you were preparing a fabulous meal for your family, you wouldn't cook an entire meal without tasting a thing and hope that the meal turns out perfectly. You would taste a lil here and there to be sure that it was delish.

And if you were buying a new 54-inch plasma, you would want to see the picture before you took it home. And you would compare one picture and price to another picture and price. You wouldn't be just focused on putting any big screen in your truck and going home.

In relationships, we just want the ring, the wedding day, the home, the kids, the husband, the wife, heck the warm body.

And we choose to turn off our senses while traveling along on the journey to love.

We see things that are unpleasant. But most of all we feel things that are not good.

Your gut feeling is real.

You may be saying I kinda felt that something wasn't going quite right when he didn't call.

Or I thought she talked about money too much.

Listen to your gut and remember GUT as Giving U Truth.

With that said, there are a few signs that I recently read about and thought for the most part were dead on. So I thought I would share.

Ladies, if he doesn't keep his word, he may not be feelin' you. I have a gf whose bf told her he was coming to get her and never showed up. She called and called and each time the phone went to voicemail.

She was heartbroken and I was heartbroken for her and when she cried in the phone, I did too. She didn't know it and she still doesn't know it to this day (well, maybe she will now) but as she explained to me what was going on I felt her pain and tears rolled down my cheeks.

Who needs this pain. Kick him to da curb!

Another big one ladies is when he is not into satisfying you sexually. If he's just humpty, hump to get His, well this is a problem. If you want to roleplay and he calls it stupid. Watch out! If you want to read erotica together or experiment with _______ (you fill in the blank) and he says that is dumb, don't fool yourself into believing that he really cares one iota about you. You can't change him. He's a selfish lover. And do you want a selfish lover?

And then there's the guy who doesn't check on you after the date or your nice weekend together to make sure you got home safely. Out of sight is out of mind. Oh, I've been down the don't call, don't write, don't talk, don't care road. A guy should make a woman feel safe. He should make her feel secure. He should make sure she is home OK. He should want to protect her.

And Ladies, forget the fella who does't call. He doesn't like you and that's OK. You are better off because he didn't. A man who really wants you will pursue you.

Oh, he calls. He may be the busiest man on the planet but he is going to carve out some time somewhere to send a text and have a brief conversation with you. And danggone, don't you think you are worthy of a telephone conversation?

Read more He's Not Feelin' You Tips.

And fellas, I know that women play games just as much as men. So I did a random survey to get feedback and some reading and came up with four signs for you, too.

She is full of excuses for why she can't spend time with you. You likely make her feel like, "Oh, I would rather watch paint dry." She does not return your phone calls and when you call her, you know that she sent you directly to voicemail. Ummm, move on.

She does not make time for you and tells you how much either her girlfriends or her career mean to her.

Tell her thanks but no thanks and keep it movin'. Women like to spend time with their gfs, but a woman actually craves a man and not just sexually. Why do you think soooo many women are desperate? They are craving a man. They want to talk to him, be around him, touch him.

After all, God did make woman as a man's help mate, so if she isn't trying to be around you, she doesn't like you.

And if you meet Ms. What Can You Do For Me do not walk, run, like your life depended on it.

Yea, you are supposed to make sure she is OK if you really care about her, but if within the first few dates, she's asking for money for her hair or nails or car note or light bill, you might wanna rethink the attraction to the big bootie, the boobies and pretty face. She is a user and she will use you up.

And the last sign that should be the writing on the wall is how she talks about men. Does she think that all men are bad? All men cheat. All men lie.

Kiss her on the cheek and wish her a good life and tell her your name is not ALL.

Women don't want to be lumped into a group with all women and neither do men. It's not fair.

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.