Feeling Juices Part 2 -- Oh, Oh Oral Sex

Mondays's blog on feeling juices during sex brought on a flurry of interesting responses and comments.

"I read ur blog i didn't know u met a guy? And he wanted 2 feel ur va jay jay why u ain't tell me."

This text came from a guy who I just talk to on the phone and text every now and then. He's never taken me out on a date!

After I text and say, "don't you date and please cut it out," he responds, "I liked u."

Ouch!

Did you get the E-D on that like? As in past tense.

I just wrote about what I wanted to write about. This is America. It is a free country.

But to be sure I didn't say the wrong thing to my supposed Boo, I went outside and looked in front of my door and in my mailbox for a little blue box. Oh where, Oh where is my little blue box, Oh where, Oh where can it be.

Boi, beat it! Do not collect $200, go directly to jail and ummm kick rocks.

But that was only the beginning of what would be one of the most interesting blog days of my life.

I always get people who want to challenge my opinions. Nah, you wrong! Nah, that's not true!

My mom always told me that "an opinion is like an A$$hole everyone has one," so it's cool and the gang. Bring it! I love feedback. I love a good thought-provoking conversation.

But before long I'm bobbing and weaving as I get a jab to the chin. My head pops back but I'm still in boxer stance. "So what you are saying is, you will do anybody as long as he is wearing a condom?"

I don't want to challenge anybody's edumucation, but in the words of Fred Sanford, "UUUUUUUUUUU big dummy."

I didn't say that! Don't go twisting my words!

Before I put my hand over my heart and tell Elizabeth, I'm coming to join her, I was hit with the Big O question.

"If you want to talk about unprotected sex, why not talk about oral sex. Oral sex is more intimate than intercourse and you can get STDs in your mouth just the same," a blog reader says.

"OK, yea you are right, but I think the statistics will show that the chances of getting an oral STD are lower. And I don't think the AIDS campaigns focus on oral sex, cause that ain't killing folks," I respond.

But the oral sex issue is valid. It is absolutely valid.

So yea before folks take a trip downtown, they may wanna ponder is this an act for every Tom and Dick or is this reserved for a special, monogomous relationship.

After all, you could be getting ahold of one of those DIs that just went bareback with a (Funky Cold Madena) funky cold Gonnorhea Va-jay-jay. Or a Va-jay-jay that likes it best raw.

I don't want to be a killjoy but it is the truth.

And would you be comfy and cozy with telling a potential mate how many DIs or Va-jay-jays you've given a tongue massage?

What would you do if you met someone and she said "Hello, My name is Downtown Judy Brown and I've given tongue massages to 50 DIs."

And this is the truth. I was out with one of my gfs once and this guy said quite loudly in the establishment during a conversation, "I've been eating (ya know) since middle school."

Ewwwww!

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.