Sex Isn’t Just Sex

A man has different types of sex depending on how he feels about the woman and the stage of life with which he is in.

This sums of a section of a book called “"The Secret Lives Of Men" that I have just started reading.

Christopher Blazina, the author, points out in his book that some men feel “tied down” in relationships and want to have “a stash” on the side.

Wow! Not a woman but a stash.

The author says that by referring to a woman as a “stash” it doesn’t even recognize that she is a person. Rather he uses the “stash” to fill a void.

The author says this man doesn’t even see the woman as having a face. But old-timers always said, “Ps don’t have a face.” And yea Ps are what you think.

But that’s cold-blooded, especially when the stash feels like she means a little bit. Just a tad bit. Ummm, fool!

But on the flip side, there is the man who is in a committed, long-term relationship who seeks to add a bit of spice after a routine of the same sexual positions. This man will seek role-playing opportunities, use games and toys.

“Couples who love each other should enjoy the playful aspects as well. They can explore, try new things and do what feels consistent to maintain and enhance their solid connection,” the author writes.

The author also pointed out that there is the man who has nonstop sexual flings because he is actually in search of true love. Can you say pitiful playa?

With that said, the author then goes into various types of sex and explains that there can be advantages and disadvantages to them all.

They include valium sex, hallmark card sex, lustful sex, exploratory sex, power and submission sex, procreation sex, makeup sex, checked-out sex, the drunken shag and casual sex.

Man Valium sex is used to alleviate unsettling feelings. It can be soothing as long as this is not the only type of sex a man likes to have.

OK, soothing is good. This is possibly the type of sex after a long, stressful day at work or for reassurance about someone’s feelings in a relationship. After all, men need reassurance too.

Hallmark Card Sex is used to emotionally connect with a partner but can be a problem when there is an expectation for this type of sex every time.

This is that encounter after a romantic evening on a special occasion. Maybe Happy-Anniversary Boo! Sex.

Lustful Sex is when pheromones are flying and is a problem when there is only lust.

Sexual chemistry, sexual chemistry, sexual chemistry. Whew!

Exploratory Sex is playful and fun but can be a problem when both parties are not on the same page about what is considered acceptable.

After reading the various types, I would have to say that this one seemed to be the most interesting. Two people have to really be on the same page to truly enjoy this type of sex. There has to be a lot of communication oooweee.

Power and Submission Sex is who-is-in-charge-of-calling-the-shots sex and can be bad when emotional parts get played on in a damaging way.

I read the information about this one over and over and I can’t find a good way to sum it up. I was thinking dominitrix but that didn’t fit. Maybe this type of sex is involved in emotionally and physically abusive relationships. I don’t get this one.

Procreation sex is used to conceive a baby but may cause stress when there are infertility issues. This one is self-explanatory.

Makeup Sex is a gentle blend of anger, love and reconciliation but can be a problem when the best part of the relationship is makeup sex.

I’ve heard that this is good, but in all my years and arguuuuuments I’ve never experienced it. Sad, huh?

Checked-out sex is not being in the mood but participating anyway. This is a problem when most encounters become this way.

This is the I’m-not-into-you, I’m-not-into-you, I’m-not-into-you sex.

The Drunken Shag is the booty call and can be a problem when both parties do not agree upon the type of encounter.

Ummm, I think most people should know when they are a booty call.

Casual sex is various forms of free love and becomes a problem, like the drunken shag, when both parties do not agree on the type of encounter.

In one word – Hoe!

Ladies and Gents, you must understand your role. You know and you know you know when you are a booty call.

Did you realize that there were so many types of sex? Do you have a favorite? Can you think of any other types of sex?

Share your thoughts here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.