I've fallen and I can't get up! Well, I fell, but I got back up.
When I think of this trap, I identify with a time in my life when I thought if I looked extra special I would get noticed. I would make him see how amazing I am. Nope! and NO!
Another reason this dating/relationship trap stands out in my mind, I think, is because it isn't anything that a man does. It's what we do to ourselves.
We aren't falling into a trap that a guy set for us and we got caught. We lower our self-worth and value by believing that we have to look extra special. And don't get me wrong, I believe in being foxaaaay. I believe in looking fabulous. I'm natural so I don't wear weave and fake nails and a ton of makeup, but I believe in looking good. And I don't judge anyone who likes, scratch that, loves weave, fake nails or makeup, so don't go there! If it makes you feel good, gooooood! I am gonna get a long weave one day, so that I can fling my hair. LOLOLOL
So don't email me or make crazy comments.
But the reason that the marketing trap bothers me the most is because when women fall into this trap, they fear that nobody wants them the way that they are. They often fear that they cannot be their authentic selves. That being fabulous internally is not enough. This breaks my heart. No, this truly breaks my heart. It breaks my heart not only because I identify with this trap soooooo much but because I know that no matter how fabulous, fine or foxaaaay you look, it is not gonna do anything.
It isn't going to make him fall in love because men do not fall in love with women for the way that they look. They fall in love based on the way that they feel. Don't believe me -- Google it! Men love beautiful women so don't get me wrong, but they like looking at them and maybe even taking them for a test drive. LOLOL
One's maintenance -- hair, nails, makeup -- will make him notice you. But you will get noticed even more once you open up your mouth and you reveal your character, your dreams, your goals, your pain and your joy. You reveal your personality and that is what is most important in finding a suitable, compatible life partner. When it comes down to it, who cares if your nails are done if you can't even get along.
Also keep in mind, ladies, maintaining impeccable appearance often makes men look and wonder if they can afford the upkeep, the maintenance. Yep, that hair and nail thing make some men wonder if they can afford a woman like that. I've heard it time and time again.
Any who, I want to deal with why I identify with this relationship trap a little more. There was a time when I yearned for attention. Yes, Coach Dee yearned for attention! I wanted him to notice me so I would get his favorite color polish or the polish that he said he liked on me. Shiiiiit! I wish I had the time and even the money back that I spent on hair and nails, hoping that I would get noticed.
The truth is: I am fabulous with or without my hair and nails being done! I am fabulous because of my personality. I am caring and kind and understanding and loving and generous. I am firm and smart and persistent. I am hardworking and God-fearing. I am health-conscious and creative. I am a great writer. I am a great listener. I am family-oriented. I am fun. I am all that and more and it has nothing to do with my hair or my nails.
Ladies, you are soooooo much more than your hair, nails and makeup. Oh, and I do like makeup. A lil' powder, mascara and lip gloss give me that extra pep in my step. But ladies, don't fall into the marketing trap. Your appearance has nothing to do with how awesome you truly are!!!