Friday, January 1, 2016

You Take The Same You Into The New Year

Most people are happy to see a new year. They see it as a new beginning. They see it as leaving a not-so-good year behind. But don't be so quick to rush full-speed ahead without reflecting on all that the prior year offered -- the good and the bad.

Honestly, the good doesn't teach you as much as the bad. So, of course, reflect on those wonderful times. All the laughs and good days.

But it is when you begin to reflect on those difficult times when you figure out what you are made of.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the need to give the previous year a wave buh bye, a heave-ho, a slam-the-door-shut goodbye. I get it. But before you wipe the slate clean, or try, take some time to reflect on those difficult times.

What did you learn about yourself? What did it teach you about life? What is it that you know for sure now since going through that rough patch? What can you change? How could you be different? How can you be better?

You may be thinking -- Whatever, Coach Dee! I am done with 2015 and on to something better. I hear all the shouts of: "A New Year, A New Me!" Ummm, NO! You are not going to be a new you until you become self-aware. Yep, it is a new year, but you are taking the same ole you into the new year.

More importantly, you are doing yourself a disservice when you don't go on an introspective self-awareness journey. It is necessary to reflect on 2015, so that you understand you on a deeper level.

There are gonna be a few things that will bring about pain and who wants to deal with the painful truth about our actions, our decisions, our lives. It hurts too much, but it is necessary.

In fact, I say proceed with caution if you do not want to deal with the fact that and you plug in the one that fits your life. You lost your job. You got a divorce. You had financial issues. You are bitter or negative. You are not happy. You are not forgiving. You are an ingrate. You do not really love yourself. You broke up with that guy who you absolutely thought was "the one." You don't like your job. You have given your all to everyone around you and have no idea what you like or who you are. You have a nasty attitude. You have commitment issues. You pretend to be one way so that people will accept you. You are settling for him because you don't think you can do any better. You are in that bad marriage/relationship because you are afraid of being alone. You cry yourself to sleep.

Go on and pretend that it didn't happen or that it is not happening. After the initial good feelings of a new year, a new beginning rhetoric ends, you are going to be stuck with the same ole you!

Happy New Year!

P.S. If you need help devising a plan to improve your relationship with yourself (the most important relationship you will have besides the one with God) or improve your romantic relationship, go to to check out my virtual coaching sessions Welcome 2016 Introductory Offer!!!