Thursday, January 14, 2016

'I Knew He Wasn't For Me'

A lot of us have said it one time or another: "I knew he wasn't for me." And if you haven't said it, a family member or girlfriend has told you that he wasn't for you.

It's a common phenomenon of women refusing to see those red flags or acknowledge that uneasy feeling in our gut.

All the warning signs in the world cannot keep a woman from becoming involved with a man who is not good for her if she lacks self-love and self-awareness. If your plan is to just have a man, that's a terrible plan. You should understand and recognize what it is that you need to feel completely and totally loved. This will keep you from spending time with men who are incapable of giving you anything but good peen.

Any who, in an easy-to-read, detailed-filled, interesting book Shamay Speaks, author and transformational speaker, presents the relationship woes of several women.

I could personally identify with a few of the stories in the book.

They include stuff like he got me pregnant and her pregnant, too.

Or he was a perfect gentleman until we got married and then he revealed that he was a sociopath. No, really, one of the stories shared in the book reveals how a woman was perfectly courted by a man who treated her like a queen. After they got married, all that changed. When she didn't put him on her credit cards, things really got hairy. You gotta read it for yourself.

There's a story about a woman who didn't want to break up with her cheating boyfriend because she had grown attached to his family. And of course, there are stories of cheating boyfriends and forgiving girlfriends.

But then there's a story of a woman in an abusive relationship who continues to have children with her husband. She ends up with six before the relationship ends. But lo and behold, she ... you are gonna just have to get this book to find out what happens. The story will make you smile, particularly if you are a single mom with several kids and you feel like you need to stay in your relationship because of your children or because no other man will want you and your kids.

Shamay Speaks most definitely speaks in her book. She tells her very interesting relationship story. She is honest about her insecurities and the great sex that kept her going back when she knew she should not have. She is upfront about what she missed and how she contributed to the pain that she suffered. She even points out the red flags in her story. The contributors point out their red flags, as well.

Then she goes on to put the proverbial cherry on top with a story from a man. He talks about how he ends up in a relationship, kids and all and didn't even love the woman.

This story provides a great example of how it may look like love and not even be love. It is sad but true.

Shamay takes it one step further and labels guys to look out for. I got a big kick out this section.

1.) The Situation Man

2.) The Father Of The Year Who Never Gets To See His Kids Man

3.) I Don't Like Labels Man

4.) The In-Between Man

5.) The One-Legged Man

I am not gonna go into what each of these are. Get the book. Oh yea, she has several more types.

But I just gotta, gotta tell y'all about the "one-legged man" though. LOLOLOL

Shamay writes: "He is the man who has never had anything of his own without his mother or a woman. This type of man usually lives at home and probably has only moved out when it was with a woman. Nine times out of 10, the woman he moves out with is the breadwinner. So basically, he only stands on one leg alone but needs a woman to stand on his own two feet. This type of man usually likes a woman to be his rescuer or 'sugar mama.' "

OK, I can't resist. Here's one more -- The Lust Man! LOLOLO He's amazing in the bedroom. Shamay says, "This is the type of man that will cause you to play with your own mind." Well, dammmmnnnn! Your own mind -- wowser!!!

This is a great read. And I say that for two reasons. One, when you read the stories, ladies, it will let you know that you are not alone in missing red flags and dealing with craziness in relationships. Two, it will reveal to you that even though you thought you have been through something there is someone who has gone through more.

I find it necessary for women to share their relationship stories without judgment. Sometimes, we go through different experiences and think we are in an existence all alone. We become ashamed or embarrassed.

One of the first steps in self-awareness is admitting that you do not experience love, happiness or satisfaction in your relationship. You have to admit that you just ain't happy! From that point, it's all about healing and moving forward loving yourself like never before so that you do not allow craziness to infiltrate your life anymore.

Go to to find out more and to order your copy. Be sure to e-mail me and tell me what you think.

Coach Dee is compiling a collection of books to suggest to coaching clients. If you are an author and would like for me to blog about your book and add it to the collection, please contact me. I am interested in books that deal with relationships, personal growth and inspiration. This type of reading is great for clients who are working to shift their energy and mindset.


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