Ladies, Don't Send Mixed Messages!

If you are confused about what you want, there is no way to effectively and clearly communicate those needs to anyone else.

Singles often send out mixed messages because they are not able to tell someone what they truly want. Usually, they can only tell someone what they don't want. I understand how much easier it is to express what you don't want, but as a big girl, you should be able to be clear on what you want and even need.

As a relationship coach, it is my job to help people sort through things that they require in a relationship.

A great example of this is love for animals. We are all different, so a person who truly loves animals would need a mate who loves animals or is at least OK with a pooch or cat running through the house. Another great example is religious or spiritual beliefs. It is a good idea to couple up with a person who shares similar beliefs. I would think that it is quite difficult to live in a household where one person is getting up to go to church on Sunday morning and the other is getting up to go to a place that worships the devil.

You may be thinking, that is common sense, Coach Dee. Well, if it were common sense there would not be so many failed and unhappy relationships.

I understand how it may be hard to say I want or I need, but it is completely necessary!!! Plus, you owe that to yourself. No one else is capable of understanding what you need better than you are.

If you first admit something to yourself, you can stop playing games and your internal conflict will end. And ladies, don't be afraid to say what you desire because you fear that it will not come to past. Decide what you need. Say what you need and make decisions based on what you need.

If you meet a man who is not really romantic, but you desire someone who is romantic ummmm, he is probably not the guy for you. A lot of people have given up on romance so if you fall into that category, here is another example that may help drive home this point. If you want someone who has a sense of humor and can make you laugh, the guy who barely cracks a smile and hates comedy shows may not be "The One."

Yea, he may be a good provider. And heck, he may even be good in bed, but if you truly desire someone that you can laugh and joke around with -- keep looking!

So many times people try to force something that isn't going to work. It may work for a while but if you need something and you don't get it, it will create issues in the relationship.

If it is not a good fit, it is not a good fit. You do not have to beat yourself up. It doesn't make the other person terrible. It doesn't make you an awful person. It just means that there is a better fit for you.

And while I am on being honest -- stop your lying about your expectations. I read something that said, "Most people want to be in a committed relationship." OK, if you are not part of that "most," great -- but this is what most people want.

Sooooo....

If you want a relationship, you should be able to say that you want a relationship.

If you desire marriage, you should be able to say that you desire marriage.

If you like hamburgers, you should be able to say that you like hamburgers. LOLOLOL

Don't tell someone that you are OK with a sexual relationship when, in fact, you are not.

If you desire marriage, do not act like you don't.

You are only fooling yourself and sending mixed messages.

Let's talk about sending mixed messages. There will be a FREE Relationship Workshop titled "Why Am I Choosing Mr. Wrong" on Jan. 3 at 1 p.m. at the Euclid Library. We will discuss mistakes made while dating and how to get to true happiness, love and satisfaction.

Spaces will be limited so please reserve your seat by going to: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/why-am-i-choosing-mr-wrong-tickets-14882541081.