When He Says He Is No Longer In Love

What exactly does it mean when someone says, "I love you but I am NOT in love with you."

Other than it being a serious gutt shot that will double you over in physical and emotional pain, it is a complex statement.

I have had these words uttered to me, and the pain that resonated in my body was unexplainable. I really felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. Twice!

I remember trying to describe the way I felt and the only thing I kept repeating was, it hurt sooooo bad, oh, it really hurt.

Interestingly, the person I was trying to communicate my feelings to had the same words uttered to her so she understood exactly how painful those words were.

I remember trying to reconcile with myself why someone would say something sooooooo hurtful. Heck, why not say I no longer want to be with you. Period. But I guess that would be painful, too.

I believe that in marriages (and even long-term relationships), being in love is cyclical. Because marriage is supposed to be forever, for the duration, until death do us part, riding the wave of being in love is part of what one has signed up for. Some days love and being in love will be 100 and other days it will be very close to zip zero. And then some days, it will be right in the middle somewhere. To me, it is the nature of the beast.

I think men and women want to be in love. Actually, I think men and and women want the same things in relationships. Love, respect, admiration, trust, understanding and good diggity. Men and women both want someone to laugh with, someone to talk to and someone to have fun with.

Yea, we are different but we are really the same.

But do you think men and women both are as in love with the idea of being in love? Would you be able to stay in a relationship with someone who says he or she loves you but is not in love with you?