I know the good old days are gone but I'm a traditionalist when it comes to relationships. I think a man should be a man.
What does that mean exactly?
While dating, I think a man should open doors for a woman. I think he should send flowers and give Teddy Bears. I think he should pick up the tab, yep, pick up the tab.
When married, I think he should serve as a protector and a provider. I think he should work one and maybe even two J-O-B-S to make sure his family is provided for.
And nope I'm not going to get into what a woman should do because today is National Man Day.
National Man Day is a day for guys to spend however they want, either alone or a day with their buddies doing manly things.
It is a day for all men to stand up and say, "Yes, I am a Man."
But being a man is not just watching football and drinking beer and farting loudly.
Being a man is an inner strength that exudes in everything done. Toward the top of the list of being a man, in my opinion, is treating a woman like a lady.
Something really interesting has taken place. Women are becoming men. Women are acting like men.
One of my friends shared with me that he saw a fight in which the girls, yes girls, took off their shirts before a fight. OK, I've heard of taking off earrings and that's really urban, but taking off a shirt and revealing boobies. What da fudge?
That is very masculine.
And then there are women who believe that 50-50 is OK. It's not. It never will be for me.
A relationship, married or single, can never be 50-50 at any time.
It can't be 50-50 unless both people make the same amount of money and perform the exact amount of chores around the house. And the chores have to exert the same amount of energy.
Sounds ridiculous, right? Because it is ridiculous.
But I have friends who are constantly stepping up in their relationships like they are the man. They make sure certain bills are paid. They take over. They lead. They pick up the tab.
I constantly remind them, "Stop trying to be the man." Or ask, "Why are you trying to be the man?"
Are women taking away a man's eagerness to be men? Are men no longer interested in opening doors and sending flowers because they no longer care to treat a woman like a lady? Do you feel that your girl takes on your role too much in your relationship? Do you think there is a role that women and men should play? Are you a woman who steps up to lead?
Share your comments with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
I read your blog frequently but I've never written a comment. But this topic is quite intriguing. I work with you but I won't say who I am yet.(smile)
ReplyDeleteI do think some women don't let men be the "man" in a relationship. But there are various reasons for that. I was single for a looong time before I met my wonderful husband. This issue was hard for me in the beginning of my marriage because I was so used to doing everything for myself. I own my own house, car, but my own clothes, jewelry, etc. A very independent woman. I had been that way, as I said, for quite some time. When I got married I had to literally LEARN how to share responsibilities. I was so used to doing everything by myself...even taking out the trash. It was a struggle for me. BUT, I am a good student and eventually learned to let the MAN be the MAN. I learned to relax and not take on so much in the household. We have worked out a great system and it works. It really works. WE are a non-traditional kind of couple I guess because I don't have to cook anymore because hubby is a FABULOUS cook and he enjoys it. And I am an EXCELLENT dish washer/cleaner. And yes you're right....cooking is not my gift! But we work well as a team. That means I had to admit that I don't have to "control" everything. Trust me that was hard! Now, I enjoy the fact that I don't have to do it all and I don't want to do it all. It's good to have a man who can do and wants to do for me. I just had to learn to let go. On the flip side, some women have just completely lowered their standards when it comes to men. They are just so happy to have a man to ring their cell phone,they lose sight of the fact that they(women) are the prize.So, ladies set a higher standard and stick to it. You deserve to be treated like a lady. But if you 've been with a man for a long period of time who never pays for meals, initiates romance, opens doors, pulls out the chair for you eat at restaurants, etc. then the problem isn't with the "man". The problem is with the "woman" who allows herself to be treated this way. So raise the standard ladies!
Wow Anonymous coworker, :) I love the insight. Thanks so much for reading and I agree, agree, agree.
ReplyDeletePartly because of feminism women have come to believe that behaving as women is weak, when in actuality behaving as something they are not is, in fact, showing, allowing, and enabling weakness, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteJust a woman who is old enough to live and experience it all thinks.
Some people want you to believe that allowing a man to open your door, paying for a meal, waiting for him to pursue you is a sign of weakness, when in fact it is a sign of power, and expecting to be treated as the Queen that you are.
Wait, choose, and recieve...if YOU so choose, rather than chase.
Now that is POWER.
Searchingwithin,
ReplyDeletePreach! Preeeeeeach!
(david)lol i have yet to meet these kind of women. who do all this stuff. i don't mind a woman helping but let me be a man. don't try to take my role away from me in the home. otherwise i'm useless. women are doing things for men that they should not do. now he is a boy. i don't understand this independent stuff. if people followed gods blueprint for marriage and peoples roles in the relationship things would go so much smoother. instead people do it there way and fail.
ReplyDelete