How Soon Is Too Soon?

In the midst of a recent conversation, a friend joked with me about being on the rebound.

We were talking about my new found happiness and how I didn't seem to shed many tears.

My immediate answer to being on the rebound was a big, fat absolute NO.

But I had to give it more thought.

Some things I let go in one ear and right out the other. Other things I let bounce around for a bit and then let go.

This one was bouncing around like a big ole orange beach ball in my head.

Hmmmm.

What is a rebound relationship?

A rebound relationship is one that occurs shortly after the breakup of a significant love relationship.

Shortly after? Is that a month or 6 months? What is shortly after?

And of course, I did a little reading about a rebound relationship and it says that 4 out of 5 people who remarry within a year after a divorce end up divorced again.

Hmmmm.

One marriage with two dogs and four kids rush into my mind. He divorced and soon remarried one of my good friends. So they beat the odds. Congrats!

But then another part of what I read about a rebound relationship caught my eye. "It is a distraction" and "It is a connection to another person that keeps us from having to experience the full extent of the emotional pain of our recent breakup."

"A distraction" and "keeps from having to experience the full extent of the emotional pain" jump off the computer screen at me.

And I stand toe-to-toe with it.

I keep reading and it said, "fear being alone."

Hmmmmm.

Nah, that’s not me either. But just as I dismissed that ridiculous thought, a true fear revealed itself. Wow!

Yea, I fear that when this life ends that my obituary will read, "She leaves a host of nieces and nephews."

Whew! That's the painful truth.

In fact, it used to be one of the saddest things for me when I wrote obituaries in my first newspaper job.

I remember getting those obits and thinking "Wow, why didn’t she have any children?"

But I have decided that if Mr. Right never comes along that I can adopt, although I never imagined being a single mother.

But back to being on the rebound.

I haven't been divorced a year yet but I believe it was over waaaay before we decided to throw in the towel. And I cried and prayed and cried and prayed and cried and prayed. So I believe I have grieved the loss.

Nevertheless, my mother and my bf's mother have mentioned that I did not let any grass grow under my feet, and I haven’t. And why should I?

I have dealt with my feelings. I have a few regrets. I understand things I could have done differently. I feel like it's time to move on with my life, and ummmm not repeat my same errors and be a bit more discerning about the things I want and things I definitely need from a potential mate.

But how long should a person wait after getting a divorce or relationshp to start dating? How long should a divorcee wait before getting remarried? What do you think is a sign of being on the rebound and have you ever been?

There's also a quiz to take to find out if you are in a postscript relationship. And here's another quiz about to find out if you are on the rebound.

All false to first quiz and this was the result of the second quiz.

"Your score is 5. Congratulations! You're over it!! You've let go, healed your heart and are ready to open up to somebody new."