I know a few people who have been married more than once. And don’t ask because the jury is still out with the verdict on whether I would ever remarry.
I’ve settled into my new life nicely. And umm, I just don't know, I don't know!
But because I don’t have any children, having a child and not being married goes against the very fabric of my being. All my morals and values - evthing! But that’s another whole blog topic.
Anywho.
If I don’t remarry, I could have a boyfriend who could visit a couple times a week, right?
While I was married, I remember sitting around with my gfs having a conversation about the possibility of us getting remarried if we ever got divorced.
Wine plus good friends equal great conversations and belly-aching laughter.
One says, "Nah, I wouldn’t get remarried."
Another says, "I might."
I chime in with my usual comedic style with what I would tell suitors.
"Oh, you can come over and stay sometimes but don’t leave your toothbrush and shoes or I will be running after your car like you forgot your stuff. Heeeeey! Heeeeeey! You need this. Don’t leave it here."
Y’all know when folks start leaving toothbrushes they are trying to mark territory and ease on in slowly.
Aaaaant! Nope!
But how would the life I joked about really look when I’m 70. I could have a 60-year-old beau, heck, maybe even 55.
I said in a previous blog that Jeters love hard. Ummm, we also live long. A man's life expectancy is less than a woman's already, soooooo...
But would the you-can-stay-a-couple-nights-a-week life really be a happy one?
Hmmmm, I think most people would likely say, "Noooo." Right now, it may be an OK lifestyle but that has to get old.
Additionally, who wants to grow old alone? Heck, who wants to be young alone?
But even more than thinking about standing in the doorway with gray hair and faint wrinkles in my face and waving goodbye to my boyfriend, I thought about what constitutes the difference between being desperate and wanting someone in your life?
Is it age?
Really, what is the difference between being desperate and wanting someone in your life?
Desperate may mean, Oh, I’ll take you without the job, without the car, without anything to bring to the table. But maybe, just maybe, this person is saying What Da Fudge to that long list of must-haves because the pickings are slim.
One of my gfs said a guy she was dating told her, "I don’t have any money."
I'm not a gold digger but I would have asked, "Do you have any energy? Because you need to use it to walk over to that door, open it and leave."
But if she dates him, is she desperate or does she just want a special someone in her life?
What about my other gf who is dating someone else's husband.
Is she desperate or just wants a special someone in her life?
Or what about my gf who says, "I just want a nice guy with good diggity." Is she desperate?
When does one go from I want someone in my life to I will take anyone in my life? Is it a thin line? Do people miss opportunities to settle down and are haunted by regret? What makes a person desperate? Define desperate.
Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.
This is a good one because it makes you think about certain situations you may have entertained that were less than prime... I believe that in any relationship, there is a compromise of some quality that you seek. It's just a matter of what you are willing to compromise. So for me, the point of desperation has been reached when someone has compromised so much (too much really) that it actually comes at the expense of their genuine happiness. The funny piece about this realization is that it has to be acknowledged first. If a person has gotten used to pretending or frontin' about the harsh realities of their situation, then they may not see themselves as desperate, but if they have any good/real friends, they'll clue them in on the truth. People have to know their worth--men & women. When you start to feel like you deserve more than what you're getting, you may need to re-evaluate or re-assess just what it is you're doing.
ReplyDeleteI like that. Knowing your worth is crucial!!!
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