Relationships Should Be Password Protected

Are you one of those secret-squirrel types?

OK, maybe that isn’t the correct way to pose the question.

Would you have a problem sharing your password to your cell phone, e-mail or Facebook account if you are married or in a committed, monogamous relationship?

Ummmmm, ummmm or are you sleeping with your cell phone under your pillow or leaving it in your truck or car and then hiding your keys?

I heard a whole gang of people in my left ear shout, “He must be insecure. She must be insecure, if she wants my password. Why doesn’t he trust me? Why doesn’t she trust me?

And then the gang of folks in my right ear screamed, “If he or she doesn’t want me to see their e-mails, texts, hear voicemails, they must be doing something that they should not be doing?”

Hmmmmm, interestingly, I don’t subscribe to either school of thought so stop all that noise.

I’m sitting in the front of the class of the school of thought that believes what’s done in the dark shall come to the light.

And let's back up for just a second, committed and married couples share banking accounts. Their names are likely on a home or a lease together. They share a bed together. They may even share a few kids together and live in the same home. They file their income taxes together. And they share responsibility together. If you can't relate, it means you ARE NOT in a committed relationship.

But any who, back to seeing the light.

Odd behavior, you know, like nervousness when the phone rings; closing out a browser when she walks into the room; telling him you are with your girlfriend when you are really with your “friend”; showing up later than you promised or not showing up at all; not returning phone calls or clearing out all your texts from the sent and the inbox folders of your phone. But oops, you would have to snoop to know that was being done.

Strange behavior is the light. Does he really need to show you a used condom? Does she really need to hand you a photo of her getting bizz-A with dude?

If there’s no strange behavior, there’s no inclination to think anything is going on. There’s no gut feeling that something is wrong. There’s no sixth sense that she is lying. She doesn’t feel that something just isn’t right.

But if your spouse or committed, monogamous partner asks for the passwords to your e-mail account, cell phone or whatever, it may shock you. You might be caught off guard. You may even ask why? But if you don’t have anything to hide, you’ll give it up freely.

And if you don’t give it up freely, go ahead and try to bury that nut you secret squirrel.