Green-Eyed Monster Makes Debut

You are out on the town with the love of your life and having a wonderful time and then all of a sudden the green-eyed monster makes an appearance.

We've all been there at one time or another.

And often people are left wondering -- what the fudge just happened? What did I do? What did I say?

Well, jealousy is one of those things that just sits right below the surface and then when least expected pokes its head out and ruins a good evening.

I talked with one of my friends who admitted, "Yep, I'm a little jealous."

Because I'm fascinated by the inner workings of the mind and relationships, I asked, "Why?"

He looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and said, "I'm not really sure. I just am."

"Are you insecure about something?"

Interestingly, this is when it seemed to trigger something.

"I just don't want to lose her," he responded.

It was raw. It was real and I was quite shocked at the honesty.

I wanna keep going and ask a few more questions, but I bite my tongue. Fa real fa real, I bite my tongue so that I keep my mouf closed so that I can just listen.

"It's not like she has done anything to make me feel like I may lose her, but I just don't want to lose her," he continued.

Wowsa Yowsa Wowsa.

I've heard of people being jealous in relationships and just always thought it was because they were either a cheater and are afraid of having the tables turned on them or that they were just Insecure Sam or Samantha.

My friend's perspective gave me new food for thought so I was nibbling. His comments gave me a new reason to try to understand the intricacies of the emotions that go into a relationship. The emotions that go into loving and wanting a person.

But I think that there can be healthy jealousy and unhealthy jealousy.

Unhealthy jealousy is that type of jealousy that leads to full-blown arguments in the car and screaming matches in the house.

Usually when this couple emerges from the car, their appearance is a bit like Ike and Tina in "What's Love Gotta Do With It."

Nah, not all beat up. I'm talking about the anger and frowns.

Healthy jealousy I would characterize as a person sharing their innermost feelings about how a situation made them uneasy, such as I really don't like for you to be soooooo touchy feely with other men.

With this type of jealousy, there may be a bit of flirtation that can be minimized.

Unhealthy jealousy can ruin a relationship. But I think it's necessary to really examine the source of the jealousy.

Is there anything that really happened to make a person respond the way they do? Have they been cheated on? Have they cheated on a person and are afraid of being cheated on? Well schucks all of us are afraid of being cheated on.

I mean really. Who's standing in the Cheat On Me Line when picking out a prospective mate?

In a relationship, I'm all for reassuring a person of their worth. It is necessary. We all need to be reassured that we are great. We all need to reassured that we have wonderful qualities. We all need to feel that our mate wants us and only us.

I don't consider myself a jealous person. But I am an observer. Yep, I see and notice everything.

What the heck? I'm in the 12-step programs for I love wine, I love Facebook and I'm scared of being in another failed relationship. OK, OK, OK my name is Darlene and I've taken shots of Jack Daniels with the green-eyed monster. LOLOLOLOL

The green-eyed monster became my friend when I was not being complimented but heard him handing out compliments to others. I've been jealous before when I felt like something else, anything, was getting more attention than me.

Come on and just admit it. And then join the 12-step jealousy program with me. What has made you jealous?

Share your comments with me.