I Sexually Love You

"Finding out somone else's needs and your own, and how to express them in bed, is not only interesting and educative, but rewarding, and what sexual love is all about."

This is a quote from the "The Joy of Sex."

Hmmmm, I wish I had seen this quote before I went to a bachelorette party last week.

At the party, there was a woman who was engaged who showed her displeasure for pleasing her fiance.

She was carrying a picket sign that read, "NO, I won't blow. No, blow jobs here. You can't get blow jobs here."

I found it very interesting in an environment where women were acting like horndogs and being open about their sexual experiences, that this particular peson shared that she does not like oral sex and it's nasty.

But even more than what came out of her mouth, her disgust showed on her face. Her face looked like she had sucked a lemon, nah two. Just ugly and she was extremely attractive.

"I'll kiss around it but I won't really kiss it," she says.

I'm the type of person who clowns at parties but this particular night I was super tired. I had a long week and my energy level was low.

The young woman who continued being very open about her disgust with oral sex says, "This topic is off limits in my relationship. We do not discuss it."

Hmmmm.

I had no energy but there was something bubbling on the inside so I find the words.

"Sweetheart, if you love him why wouldn't you want to please him," I say.

"I do but I just don't do that," she responds.

"He does it to me," she adds.

What the fudge? I wanna jump up outta my seat and say you are a selfish beeeeaaatch, but instead I stay composed.

"But if he has said that he wants it and you are kissing around it ummm that probably isn't pleasing him," I say.

I'm a bit self conscious because I don't want to seem like I'm the authority on BJs and I won a pageant and have been crowned Ms. Fellatio. But I do think that a lot of women struggle with what men call being a woman in the street and a freak in the bedroom.

She doesn't respond, so I interject something I've read. I can't bare to see a marriage fail -- for any reason. Heck maybe this advice will help.

I grab my NO DIVORCE Superhero cape and begin talking again.

"Most men see their DIs as an extension of them. They want it to be touched and kissed just like they want to be touched and kissed," I say. "So don't be soooo disgusted baby. Be open minded."

I fling my NO DIVORCE cape behind me. LOLOLOL

As we walk out, she says, "I'm going to try it."

So the NO DIVORCE Superhero has won another battle.

Seriously, in my mind, bangin' ooooweeee ah huh ah huh sex is not a question of did you cum?

It's the where do you liked to be touched? What really turns you on? It's communication for a woman. The brain is powerful, whew the brain is powerful.

For a man, I can't speak on it fo sho fo sho, but I think it's a mix of what women like and a no-holds bar approach. Ummm, freakiness. And this involves a lot of BJs.

And the MARRIAGE bedroom, yep marriage bedroom yall, everything is sacred so it's supposed to be some good stuff going on.

But could you be in a relationship with a person who was not open to pleasing you sexually? Have you ever shared a fantasy with a significant other and they look at you like you are a fool? What do you think is the key to sexual love and sexual pleasure? Is it open-mindedness?

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.