I May Discriminate Against Divorcees

It's really interesting to me how I look at other divorced people.

I can't help it. When I meet someone who says they are divorced, I instanteously think -- "What did he do to mess up his marriage?"

And yea in people's minds, they might be asking the same question about me.

I really give generic answers to the questions inquiring what went wrong in my marriage. After all, how do I look revealing the innermost secrets of my marriage to a stranger.

And it's not that I'm secretive, I'm selective. The more I talk about what went wrong, the more I reveal my insecurities and vulnerabilities.

Heck, who wants to really do that.

And plus, a person has to be worthy to know more about me. I'm not just going to be jackin' my jaws for the sake of jackin' my jaws.

Anywho.

What I find most intriguing about a person who is divorced is how they speak of their ex. Mainly, do they make the problems in the marriage seem one-sided? It was all the other person's fault. It really takes two to tango. I'm all for 50-50 responsibility for failed marriages.

But if the assumption is made automatically, instanteously that a divorcee has some sort of issue that caused that particular marriage to fail, should the same type of assumption be made for everybody.

After all, we've all been in some sort of relationship, longterm, live-in, engaged and some folks have even been jilted at the altar. I have a cousin who did this to his soon-to-be-wife.

He called and said he wasn't coming. That's it.

With that said, is it fair for me to look at a divorced man and think he has more issues than a single person? That's divorcee discrimination isn't it.

Well, I'm an equal opportunity discriminator then.

I can't help but look at never married guys and wonder why hasn't he ever gotten married? Why hasn't he ever settled down? Sometimes, I think hmmmm maybe he's gay. But other times I think there must be an issue there, a deep issue. But is this fair?

And jilted at the altar, oh wow. I'm sure I would be momentarily cockle doo doo crazy if someone told me they wanted to marry me and never showed up on our wedding day. So should I look favorable on a guy who realized he was getting ready to make a mistake? Or should I mean mug him?

And if I look at divorcees like they have issues and singles like they have issues, who is left? Heck, maybe widows. But they would have issues. Yea, they would have to.

I guess we all have issues.

Do you have a dating preference? Do you raise an eyebrow to people when they say they are divorced? Do you look at 40 year old men and women who have never been married and say, Wowsa Yowsa something is wrong with him or her? Do you think two divorcees are a match made in heaven because they've been there?

Share your comments with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.