How Soon Is Too Soon?

If you meet a person and he or she has diggity with you on the first night is that a sign that the relationship is doomed to fail?

I say yes.

And I know a lot of people may argue this point with me.

A relationship is not built on and cannot be built on headboard bangin’, wild diggity. Now, I’m not saying that this is a terrible component to a good relationship but I just think that wild and crazy sex between two people who don’t know each other will be just that – wild and crazy diggity.

Any who.

I can’t say that I’ve never engaged in diggity sooner than I think I should have in the past.

As a teen, I thought long and hard before I became sexually active.

I remained a virgin until I was 17 and that’s something I’m quite proud of.

My mother told me that sex didn’t just involve feeling good or sexual pleasure, but it involved responsibility. This included using birth control and condoms for protection against STDs and pregnancy. It also included responsibility of my very own actions, which would undoubtedly have an affect on me emotionally. She also told me that my body was like jewels and don’t go around giving everybody your jewels.

I had friends who were having sex when I was 14 and 15, but I didn’t care. I have never been a follower so their decisions had nothing to do with my decision. Period.

Yea, I was intrigued by the whole idea. I was curious as heck but what my mother said resonated so deeply that I knew that I wasn’t emotionally mature enough to handle a sexual encounter.

As an adult, I believe my feelings of sexual encounters still remain. Honestly, I have never wanted to be the girl that a bunch of guys could say, "Yea, I slept with her."

I have been and remain totally repulsed by the whole idea.

Have I made a few mistakes? Yea, and those mistakes drive home the point that sex should be between two people who really care about each other. And it takes time to even know if you care about a person. It does not happen in one day or one night.

Nowadays, it seems that for many people sex is just sex, a romp, fun, an adventure, something to do.

There are women and men who don’t mind having friends with benefits, teens who don’t mind saying that they have a buddy.

But I think that when people are dating, it is better to like the person, care about the person before diggity is introduced. And finding out what you may like or dislike about that person takes time.

I’m not saying that one-night stands should be outlawed because they shouldn’t.

I do think that if a woman is looking to have a meaningful relationship with a guy she needs to get to know him first and he also needs to get to know her. Too often people give in to urges only to find out later that it wasn’t even worth it.

And that's likely because the largest sexual organ is the brain and the brain hasn't been stimulated because you don't even know the person you just had diggity with.

Additionally, sex changes relationships. People may say that sex is just sex, but that is because that person has likely desensitized him or herself because sex is the only thing that they have been fortunate enough to get. They haven’t had a meaningful relationship that involves caring, sharing and mutual respect.

And plus men like a chase -- sexually and mentally. If you succumb to the sexual chase so quickly then you gotta have yo mental game ret2go. LOLOLOL

So the big question is how soon is too soon? And if you have an encounter on the first night or quickly with a person, do you assume that this is how this person has been in the past?

And yea, quickly is subjective. What is too soon for you?

Share your comments with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.