Unhappy During The Holidays

With Thanksgiving being the official kick off of the holiday season, many families and friends will be getting together to have a good time. Usually at these gatherings conversations are held just about everything under the sun.

It is during these conversations when an outsider can easily determine if there is unhappiness, strife or discord in a relationship.

Sometimes it may a subtle hint. Other times, it may be more volatile and explosive with huge arguments after what appeared to be a conversation about a trivial topic. I have witnessed this kinda mess firsthand.

What people do not realize is yea, it's OK to debate and even argue about stupid stuff. But there is a difference between solvable and unsolvable problems in a relationship. Sometimes, these arguments and disagreements are rooted in an unsolvable problem.

Solvable relationship problems are related to one's needs. This includes emotional needs, which is what we all need to feel loved.

So here's the test for a need. If it is not met, you will have an issue every time. Your needs are important and usually determine if you are happy or unhappy in a relationship.

Unsolvable problems are related to your requirements. You may not know what all of them are but if they are not met, your relationship is unlikely to work or you are unlikely to be happy if you do not figure out a way to let go of the requirements.

I am not surprised that after the holidays there will be a surge in the filings for divorce. People will have had it and they will throw in the towel.

January to March is when attorneys and courts see a surge in the number of divorce filings. People have made it through the holidays and do not want to ever experience another holiday season like that again.

For people who are dating, there is a similar phenomenon. People do not want to go through the holidays alone so they just stick it on out with a bustah just so that they have someone to take to Christmas dinner.

There has likely been an argument on the way to Grandma's house but more focus is given to not going to holiday affairs alone than if this truly is someone who is enjoyable.

So how will you spend your holidays? Will you be holding on to a raggedy relationship that doesn't meet your needs or requirements? Or will you be fa la la la-ing and dashing through the snow with a big grin on your face and joy in your heart?

Tell me.

If you would like to learn more about how to determine if you are experiencing a solvable or unsolvable problem in your relationship, I would love to talk to you about my relationship coaching services. We will work through the problem and decide on a success plan to love, happiness and satisfaction. e-mail me:dee@choosingmrwrong.com