New Undies Equal Cheating?

I didn’t want to have to go there, but I made a left turn onto Cheating Lane.

What makes a person cheat?

South Carolina’s governor has put this atop my mind. He is the one who disappeared. He told his family he was hiking or some shiggidy like that and was in Argentina with his mistress.

Wow! He traveled far for some diggity.

Any who.

I heard part of his apology. "She started out as a dear friend," the tearful governor said.

I wanted to throw my shoe at the TV.

Then I think of President Bill Clinton and presidential candidate John Edwards and many others.

And then I think about how guys, married and single, tell me, it’s no problem whatsoever getting a woman to spread her legs.

Sex is goin’ a penny a pop, ummm I mean a pump these days.

But then I also think that adultery and wandering eyes may be a bit hereditary. This is something old folks have said, and I’m not quite sure they are too off with that theory.

It may also be a learned behavior also. If pappa was a rollin’ stone, heck maybe the daughter or son are too and it’s not even their fault.

But no matter the cause of cheating there are signs according to an infidelity expert. Yep, an infidelity expert -- I didn’t even know they existed.

Telltale signs deal with physical appearance, how the person relates to you, their day-to-day behavior, personality changes, absences, computer use, eating habits and many more.

I’ve heard the physical appearance line. Yea, if they are all jazzier than usual all of sudden watch out dere now. Experts say a change may mean he or she is cheating.

But this isn’t necessarily always the case all the time.

I have a gf who I encouraged to throw out all of her undies and just start over. While visiting her one day, I caught her in the middle of getting ready and ummm I was speechless. My jaw was on the floor because her undies were despicable. I’m sorry but they were just awful. Sorry guuuurl!

We went shopping and picked out what would be the beginning of a new underwear drawer. I love pretty underwear so I think every woman should. I may even start a pretty panty revolution -- who is in?

But never in my wildest dreams would I think that her significant other would misinterpret the new undies to mean something else. They actually ended up discussing the need for the foxy undies and she was asked to remove the sexy undies while on her way to a social function and put on the "grannies."

Yep, I can’t make this stuff up.

Absences I think are more of a dead giveaway. I mean disappearing for hours at a time unexplained is ummm suspicious, so I’m all in on this reason.

Day-to-day behavior is absolutely a dead giveaway. People get nervous when they cheat and eye contact diminishes.

Eating habits seem like a ridiculous sign, but I had one of my guy friends tell me that he had a friend who was expected to eat with his wife everyday. If he came home full, his wife would grow suspicious. Wowsa Yowsa.

I do think that the beginning of an affair may begin with dinner or lunch but that type of suspicion would make me run for the hills. But hey, he knew not to go home full. But would that really keep him from cheating? Don't think so.

So who cares what makes a person cheat. What are the signs of cheating? Have you ever been cheated on and did you see any signs? What were the signs? What did you do differently when you cheated?

80 percent, yessireee, 80 percent of marriages and committed relationships deal with cheating hearts so you are not alone.

I think I’ve been cheated on before, but never had any real evidence. The main sign for me was distance. We would be together but not really together if that makes sense. We would be sitting in the same room and worlds apart.

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