Dating Is Fibbin' To Find Love

Why aren't people completely honest about their situation? Why do people lie while dating?

I don't think that people understand that conveniently leaving out necessary, helpful information is lying.

Stay with me.

People lie for all types of reasons. To stay out of trouble. Think of your fibs as a kid.

To preserve reputation. Think of when you didn't want to admit that you actually had sex with her or him. LOLOLOLO

To avoid hurting someone's feelings. This one is more like when a co-worker or friend has an ugly baby and you say, "Oh, she is so adorable," when you know that the kid is muggly uggly.

To increase stature or reputation. We all have one of these big phat liars in the workplace. You know, that co-worker who leads everyone in your company to believe that he is single-handedly responsible for the success of a team project.

To manipulate. These lies usually damage other peoples' reputations.

To control information. These are those indirect lies to conceal important facts.

This is the type of lie that is used the most while dating and cause feelings to get hurt.

Think about it. If you are missing a piece of information it could change the way you see something. For example, what if you spend a lot of time with a woman, who is believed to be single. But then you find out she is married to a man who travels a lot.

That would be jiggy jiggy jacked up, right?

My gf shared with me that she doesn't understand the point of guys just lying to be lying. And she's talking about those indirect lies to conceal important facts.

She said she had been dating a guy for several months. Everything was love. Ooooweee! Great conversations. Super nookie (Sex):) Wonderful!

But then something just happened. He grew a bit more distant and said he was really busy with work.

He finally, after she grabbed her Lie-Remover Tools and started talking, came clean.

"No more sleepovers," he said.

"I know there is more than that," she responded.

"Something has developed with someone I have known for a while. I'm not sure where it's heading," he said.

"Thanks," she said.

"You probably were thinking that," he said.

"Was I? I don't guess."

"You're pretty smart."

"I don't play guessing games."

"You said you knew there was more...so you knew something."

"I knew you were being vague. I didn't know you were omitting."

Omitting. That is key.

She was asking and wondering and thinking, but after he decided to pursue a relationship with another woman, he strung her along for a little bit -- just in case. Why?

Why not just say, I've met someone.

Or is it necessary while dating to juggle someone you like with someone you think you like more before you tell the one that you just like that you don't want to see him or her anymore? If you didn't catch that, read it again.

I say yeppers 'cause all is fair in love and war.

I kinda see dating like interviewing for a job.

You go in for your first interview and things go well and then you get called back for a second interview. Finally, you get a call saying you have the position. There's some negotiation on the salary and benefits and you get a starting date.

Only then do you go to your current employer and say, "See ya!"

But wouldn't feelings be left unhurt and time be saved if people had enough guts to come on out with it?

How should this be done? I really like you but you have three of the five things I must have in a potential mate.

Maybe --- I have just been using you so that I didn't have to be alone.

Or should it be, I just want to continue seeing other people. I'm not ready to settle down.

I hate this happened to my gf. I really do, but I think it's better to get out of something that's not going to be good sooner than later.

Don't waste a moment, not even a second.

But even more than that, I believe he was just getting out of the way for the man who will tell my gf, "You are everything I ever wanted in a woman" and mean it.

Share your comments here about lies of omission or your dating strategy or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.