At first, I wasn’t going to write about this but I just gotta.
Hopefully, you saw Steve Harvey on "Oprah" Monday? If not read anyway because I really need some help understanding the women who used Skype, teleconferencing software, to ask questions.
Harvey has a bestsellers book, “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man.” He was on the show to answer questions in front of an all-female audience.
This was Harvey’s second time on the show. I didn’t see the first show so I can’t speak on it.
OK, OK, OK.
I agree with everything that Harvey said. He said women shouldn’t lower their standards or give out sex, “cookies,” soooo quickly. He also said women shouldn't seek closure in relationships just move on.
But then there was a girl named Tenecia in Washington, D.C., who asked a question using Skype. She asked if it was OK to accept oral sex and be involved in heavy petting although she has decided to be celibate until marriage.
Nah, she didn’t use Skype to ask a dummy question like that. Nahhh. Nahhhh.
Where are her friends? Ummm, did she ask that question and still have parents or other elders in her family still on this planet that may be watching Oprah?
Harvey and Oprah were puzzled by her question, at first. But then finally gave Ms. If-I-Only-Had-A-Brain a big fat NO.
I’m throwing my boot at the TV saying, "girl get off of this show acting like you dropped out of school in the 6th grade. You are not serious and you are really embarrassing yourself."
But then there was another woman. I can’t even remember her name but she had a hairdo from the 1950s. She was 53, I believe, and she was asking how can she keep men from thinking that they are going to get sex after they buy her dinner and drinks.
Harvey’s answer was the best I think I’ve ever heard. Romance is different than finance. Just because someone buys you drinks shouldn’t mean you give sex.
In my opinion, (and my mom always told me an opinion is like an A$$hole everybody has one) this woman’s self-esteem wasn’t in the toilet, it was in the sewer. She looked a mess and it seemed like she felt like she was a mess. Uggg. Just pitiful.
Run out to the self-esteem store and buy two bulk packages.
And then there was another lady in the audience who had a list that was soooooo long Oprah couldn’t keep up reading it on the monitor. I mean, really, this woman had it narrowed down to dress well, nice shoes, and a millionaire.
OK, my other boot is off and I’m throwing it at the TV.
This woman was even featured in Essence or Ebony as a bachelorette.
Lady, come on. I’ve got a list too but really.
And I wasn’t alone in thinking her long list was far-fetched and ridiculous. Harvey told her that the man she was looking for is Jesus. She wants a perfect man and he doesn’t exist.
And ummm girlfriend could actually use a kickboxing class or a jog or stroll around the block because she wants 1 hun and ain’t 1 hun.
So ladies, are we really as silly and stupid as these three women made us look?
I don’t have another boot to throw, but don’t make me throw my socks at the computer monitor.
Give me your thoughts, fellas you too, at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com or leave them here on the blog.
The stuff that I can get away with would suprise you and I am not financially independent. Sometimes just paying the smallest attention is all that is necessary to get what ever I want from some women. I am not sure if this is a good or bad revelation. Some things you just let go.
ReplyDeleteYes, we are that silly and stupid because in many ways it works for us. Think about it. We make these lists, that God just laughs at, of our perfect man. We have a template and we judge potential partners by it. And God just keeps sending us good men that we ignore because they do not measure up. and the rules we make for ourselves. Don't get me started.
ReplyDeleteMy mother told me once to go to the store and by a pair of men underwear. At night she told me to sit in front of that underwear and imagine my partner wearing them, imagine what type of man he was and how happy he could make me. I rolled my eyes at her and made a note to not visit her church again.
It took a few years to realize what she was really saying. Any kind of man could fill those drawers, what I needed to see was the kind of man for me.
Since getting my divorce, I am shocked by the large number of high quality women with education, employment, and good looks that are single! Is it the list? Surprisingly, most of these women are also confused at why they are still single, given their obvious positive traits. Oral sex is something that is given. It is something that you give if you are feeling the person and you want to share. Although I have never viewed oral sex as some sorta quid pro quo, I just can't imagine it being a good idea to have it as a one-sided proposition. You are right DJ, that semed like a silly question. As a newly single man, I do see a whole lot of women that still want the fairy tale and will go to great lengths to try and get it! It is truely fascinating!
ReplyDeleteOral is absolutely a two sided affair! I get to listen to Steve Harvey radio show in the morning on the way to the gym, on the way home from the gym and sometimes while traveling the the morning. I am always irritated wishing I could throw something at the TV too DJ. Not just ignant women out there but men as well. The key word or buzz word you mentioned that got my attention was 'self esteem'. I think that is so underrated and there are not enough studies out there to assess how the lack thereof can affect a person into adulthood. I am a strong believer that how you feel about yourself has direct implications on how you treat others and what type of relationships you are able to have with the opposite sex. There is also a lack of communication by parents. Old school and new school. I have dealt with women of all ages. I have found similarities to many when it comes to being comfortable in their own skin or lack thereof. It goes back to what they were taught as lil girls, knowledge they were equipped with and sent into the world to fend for themselves with or not. This is why the viscous cycle is perpetuated, why it still turns and show its ugly face on OPRAH!
ReplyDeletehahaha...i laugh cause i just finished writing a chapter in a new book of mine about how "we" can repair or be in better relaionships. but, a one sided oral sex affair, oh naw! thats a quick way to get (as u said in your other post) "locked out"...just a respectable "bye...good night"!...no spooning, no more emailing, no more texting, no more calls, no nothing...just bye!
ReplyDeletemaybe da sister should ask herself this. each time that he finishes pleasing her orally and she doesn't return da favor, how would she feel when it came to the actually intercourse if he just pleased himself and left her hanging rather than climaxing? :-)
~22~