I'm Having A Drink To My Divorce

People love to say, "You can't live with 'em or without 'em" referring to both men and women when relationships get a bit complex.

Clearly, men and women do not think alike, act alike, see things alike, feel things alike or do things alike. We are different. Women are more emotional and less rational, some may say. Men are more logical and tougher, others may say.

But barring all the differences, men and women make love connections, fall in love, get married and have bay-bays and not necessarily in that order.

Men love on women. They send roses and balloons, give cards and candies. Women love on men. They prepare dinners, show up at doors wearing long coats with either lingerie or nothing at all underneath to get diggity.

As relationships grow, the dynamics change. There is compassion, gentleness, kindness, patience, understanding, thoughtfulness, flexibility, helpfulness and honesty. Ah yea, he is diggin' on you and you are diggin' on him.

Then, the relationship graduates to another level and really becomes supa dupa.
On top of all the other character qualities, there's acceptance, forgiveness, sincerity, encouragement, trustworthiness and dare I say folks have fallen in LOVE.

OOOOOOOOWEEEEEEE!! When it's good, it is good.

Buttttttttttttttttt er ah, when it's bad. It's bad!

So what if all those character qualities start to disappear and when you say patience, it echoes in the halls of the relationship. Encouragement looks back at you with contempt and honesty just called you out of your name?

OK, OK, I believe in the institution of marriage. Yea, I'm divorced but I do, I do, I do.

But when I heard about two recent studies on divorce, I listened intently.
One study said divorce will not necessarily lead to happiness. In fact, a divorce may cause more stress. The study said stay, get some counseling and work on it. And another study says a divorce will make you look about two years older. YIKES!!!

My mouth twists and I say to myself, "a bad marriage is what will age you, make you gain or lose weight and make you look sad and dare I say bizzad!"

And then there's another study that says women who drink have higher incidences of cancer.

OK, you can't have a drink because of the effects it will have on your health. If you are in a bad relationship, you will not be happier if you get a divorce and if you get a divorce it will age you.

Ummm ummmm, I'm not listening. I want a drink. I already have the divorce.