Every week, I go to my sister’s for Sunday dinner.
It’s our time to catch up, chit chat, laugh and enjoy each other’s company. During these visits, I also get to see my niece and nephew and brother-in-law.
Often, we watch TV, either a sporting event or a good movie, but usually it’s the lively conversation that is most memorable.
On a recent Sunday, my brother-in-law talked about his experiences in the Vietnam War. I knew he was a Vietnam veteran but I had never heard his war stories.
I’m not sure how we got on the topic of war, but we were there and it was clear that he needed to tell us all about it. After all, talking about stuff is therapeutic. :)
He started off by saying he was a Point Man during the war. This meant that he went ahead of his platoon.
He said that he remained on duty for long periods of time because he was so successful in his responsibilities.
As he talked about it, he seemed to revisit the whole experience in his mind. He was gesturing like he had a gun in his hand. He was animated. He was passionate. Clearly, the war has affected him. While there are no visible signs of wounds, he is wounded.
After describing his duties as a Point Man, he started talking about one of his friends, heck, he said this man was his best friend while in the Army.
This friend received a record player from a family member with only one album, and I can’t remember the name of the song, but my brother-in-law said they played the tune over and over and over again.
He said that his bf said something a bit morbid while listening to the album one night about possibly not going home. He said he played down the comment and continued on laughing and enjoying their time together.
Soon, the men were faced with another battle and this friend stepped on a landmine.
My brother-in-law described how they talked to each other. How they told each other how much they loved each other and enjoyed each other’s company. They thanked each other. My brother-in-law said they weren’t sobbing, but extremely emotional about the impending death.
The friend said his final goodbyes and every one took off in the opposite direction before soon hearing an explosion.
My brother in law said that when they went back to the scene his friend's body parts were all over. A leg here, an arm over there, his head over there.
It was one of the saddest stories I’ve ever heard in my life, but I didn’t reveal my emotions to my brother-in-law because his was his time to shine. It was his time to let it all out. It was his time to remember a great friend.
I fought back tears. I glanced over at the TV. I started a side conversation with my niece. I was doing anything and everything so that a tear would not fall.
As I reflected on what he said later, I realized the task that my sister has been charged with. It’s important for her to listen. It’s important for her to try to understand. It’s important for her to let him let it all out.
While every one may not be a veteran, how important is it to you to have your significant other listen to you and your experiences? Tell me.
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