Money, Marriage And Making More Than A Man

I spent my weekend in New York Cith with gfs and shared many laughs and libations. We also did some shopping and sightseeing.

But when four women get together, it is not complete without talking about relationships, soooo of course we talked about how to have a happy relationship or a happy marriage. And then we talked about being in a relationship when a man makes more money than the woman.

Oh, it was a goooood conversation with various perspectives.

And I love to have conversations with people who have strong opinions because I have strong opinions, particularly on how to have a happy relationship.

Yea, I'm divorced but my peeps have been married for 50 years so I have in me what it takes. Heck, at least I think so.

During our passionate conversations, we seemed to return to finances each and every time.

One scenario included should one person get more when shopping when they don't make the bulk of the household income?

My answer was if a married person is going shopping, that couple should decide on how much should be spent and that no one deserves to get more because one makes more money.

This sent shockwaves through the crossover vehicle that we rented so that we could be all over New York City for the weekend.

I'm sure people who saw our vehicle thought it was a neon sign with four foxy ladies lighting up like blinking lights on a Christmas tree as we explained our points of view.

One gf thought the person who makes the most money should get the most so for a while only two blinking lights were going off until that conversation was complete.

I was accused of feeling the way I do because I have never been in a relationship with a man who made less than me.

Well, shoot dat ain't my fault. :)

Any who.

However, my perspective is not arrived at because I have always made less. My opinion is centered around everything being fair and balanced with two people. One person has to make more. Yea, it would be great if singles could meet someone who made the exact amount, had the exact amount of debt, had the exact amount of savings, etc. But it's not going to happen.

Because I have accepted that, I believe that people bring things to a relationship that are far more valuable than cash to a relationship. Don't get me wrong. Cash is a must, must, must.

But what about if someone has cash and treats you like a dog? Would you be in that type of relationship? Absolutely not, so it's clear that a good relationship includes many components. A person may be kind, patient, understanding and thoughtful.

The conversation ended with each of us standing firmly by our positions.

I say if one person has $3 and another has $5, then that couple has $8. If a person continues to think about how much he or she has contributed, there will be deep-seated resentment and bitterness that will plague the relationship.

In my eyes, a person who is constantly thinking about how much he or she contributes is selfish and should really stay single. And ummm love is not selfish.

What are your thoughts? Tell me.