Can't Read, Can't Write, Can't Date

I'm not the sharpest pencil in the pack, but I'm not the dullest either.

I consider myself fairly intelligent with book knowledge and common sense. I wasn't the kid in school who didn't have to study to get a good grade. I had to study, yep, I had to study.

And if I didn't study, well, let's just say that there would be consequences and repercussions from my father who told me that education was the key to success.

He meant success in life, but I don't think my father ever meant that it would help me not make a fool of myself by misusing words and ummm, just knowing how to read.

And even help while dating.

I had a friend tell me that he took a beautiful girl out for dinner and she couldn't read. She looked at the menu and saw Chicken Cordon Bleu and said I'll take the blue sandwich.

What the fudge?

Immediate dismissal. Spontaneous combustion. Response to stimuli. It would be over with the quickest of quickness.

I'm outta here. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. LOLOLOL

He told me he and his friend, because they were on a double date, just laughed and cracked on the beautiful girl all evening.

I'm sorry. That's an instantaneous turn offy off.

Another big ole turn off for me is talking with a person who all of sudden uses a word that doesn't fit in the sentence.

And conversate is a word that bothers me, but I think black folks are intent on getting it included as a verb in the dictionary even though the proper word is converse.

Any who.

I work with words all day and there are times that I may have to check myself before I wreck myself. A spelling here and there may get me.

Heck, I still mess up peek and peak in headlines and sentences.

But I'm talking about some jive A$& turkey acting like he is saying something when he is not saying anything at all. Something like, "Your beauty bewilders my investment," or "I'm showing my gratification for you."

Umm, excuse me but you are not Don King. LOLOLOLOLOL

The first sentence is just ridiculous, ridiculous and sometimes that is how some people sound -- ridiculous. The second sentence should be "gratitude to" in place of "gratification for."

Fudge sounding intelligent when you really ain't. Yep, I said ain't.

Just say, I wanna show you I appreciate you. I wanna say thank you.

There's a rule in journalism and heck in life. It's the KISS rule. Keep It Simple, Stupid.

And if you stupid or talk stupidly (say that in your Obama voice), don't use words that you can't spell and for that fact pronounce.

And learn how to read. Pick up a book. Pick up a magazine. Pick up a newspaper.

Shoot, just listen to other folks but don't be the first out the gate sitting at the dinner table to say, "I'll take the Blue sandwich." LOLOLOLOL

What do you think about people misusing words? Do you correct them? How do you handle it?

Share your comments or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.