Do You Call When You Like A Person?

The more and more I talk to singles, I realize why it's so difficult for people to find the person of their dreams.

I understand that when a person is in their early 20s it's not as clear to him or her what is needed and wanted in or from a relationship. But I think by the time a person is in their late 20s and 30s, it should be clear, clear, clear.

In my 20s, I was looking for fun, exciting, fun and exciting. And while I still want fun and exciting, I really know so much more is needed. This also may have a bit to do with being married before.

In my 20s, I probably was a bit more embarassed or ashamed, I'm not quite sure what would be the best description, to say yes, I need this in a person and that is that.

Nowadays, I have no problem with saying what I need and what I want.

A recent conversation between friends brought up how often a person should call if they are interested in pursuing a relationship with a person that they are dating.

The discussion, which was part of relationship brunch, involved both men and women.

One of the guys, who was quite handsome, ummm yea mocha brown with a well-groomed uh huh foxy beard, said that he doesn't want or even need to talk every day to a person that he may like.

OK.

This was not the first time I had heard of such a thing.

But my feeling is if you like a person, don't you wanna find out what they are doing, ask them about their day, find out if they are OK.

Heck, don't you wanna just call to hear their voice because if you like 'em wouldn't their voice bring a smile to your face and make your heart fill with joy. I'm just sayin... if you like the person.

On the other hand, if a person is still in the I like him or her but I don't really know if I like him or her for me quite yet, then I would have to say OK. No need to call.

And if they likely don't make the person smile they are at the bottom of the like scale. In fact, they just may be the I-like-her-or-him-until-someone-I-really-like-comes-along person.

Mr. Foxy Brown Beard was quite clear that once he would call the woman, she would know that he wanted to call.

Well OK, but what sense does that make?

I continued to be engaged in the conversation and I tried to kick in the Don't Show It On Your Face mode, but I don't think I was successful.

In my mind, I kept thinking this is the importance of dating and talking and dating and talking because clearly a person who would like me and didn't call me is not for me.

The conversation went to well how much do you need a person to call you if they are interested.

Quickly, I say every day. In fact, if I like a person I will want to text several times and talk a couple times a day. Now if I don't wanna talk to you I don't like you, period. If I like you, I wanna talk to you.

But when the question was asked, a few of the women said, "Nah, I don't want to talk to a person I like every day." I, along with another woman, said, "Yes, I want to talk every day."

"It's the thrill of the chase," one woman offers as her reason for not needing to talk frequently. And then the other woman says, "I'm very busy."

Immediately, I felt in control, I felt strong, I felt confident. I always say and think, I am what I am what I am what I am and ummm, I am. :)

In my 20s, I would have thought that for me to say that I want to talk to a guy that I like every day would make me seem needy. That it would make me seem insecure. It would make me seem like I didn't have a full life.

Nah, it's just a need for me now that I'm in my 30s.

I'm not going to try to act one way when in fact I feel another. And as far as the thrill of the chase, I think people who love the thrill sooooo much will ultimately have to accept the thrill of being single eternally. And as far as being busy, if someone is tooo busy to talk for a few minutes a day, forget about it. I definitely wouldn't even want to pursue a relationship with someone who can't carve out 3 minutes to talk. What the fudge?

How often do you think a person should call if they are really interested in pursuing a relationship? Do you like to talk to the person with whom you are involved every day? Do you smile when you talk to person a person you like or love?

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.