Are You A Happy, Horny Drunk?

When I was growing up, I remember my mother always saying that my dad was a nice drunk.

My mother didn't drink at all so she thought any type of drinking made a person a drunk. It wasn't her being mean but she didn't drink and never could wrap her mind around why people did it.

Any who. I'm not like my mom.

I indulge and may have one too many from time to time. But I believe it is at that time when a person's true colors come out. During my marriage, Vodka became the trufe juice for me. Anything that was bothering me before I took a sippy sip would of course bother me after the sippy sip.

Makes sense, right?

Sometimes my unhappiness before taking a sippy sip would cause me to grow angry and sometimes sad. Yep, I've been one of those pitiful, crying drunks before.

I remember sobbing after my 30th birthday. I was growing older, not really at a happy place and therefore the cocktails caused crying. Looking back it was really ridiculously sad. One of my gf's stayed all night with me to console me.

But what I'm learning is that there are all types of drunks: crying, horny, happy, helpful, obnoxious, sleepy, laughing, nice and angry.

You know a crying drunk. They cry and cry and cry. Nah, they sob and sob and sob and you have had a drink so sometimes you may cry or sit there and really grow perplexed about the tears.

A nice drunk is soooo sweet. He or she promises things. They profess their love. They hug family members and friends.

The horny drunk is the person who is ready to rock steady. A single horny drunk is like an animal on the hunt. He or she is flirting and flirting and ready to take someone home. Heck anyone home. They may end up going home alone but it's not because they didn't give it the old college try. A horndog drunk that is in a relationship is ready to have sex in the car on the way home.

A happy drunk is cracking jokes and is the center of attention.

A helpful drunk is cleaning up the kitchen or helping anyone who may need it. Getting drinks and food and just being overall helpful.

And obnoxious drunk is the one who just irritates. They may pretend to be more intoxicated than they actually are. They may say stupid stuff. They are just irritating.

Then there's the sleepy drunk. Nah, it's not the POD (passed out drunk) drunk. It's the whew I'm tipsy so now I must go to sleep. By the way, this is a natural response to a depressant because alcohol is a depressant.

But then the flip side is the giggling, laughing drunk. You hear a chuckle everytime someone says something. This is borderline irritating too, but you can't get mad at someone who is laughing. LOLOLOLOL

And then there is the angry, fighting drunk. Whew! We all like to steer clear of this kind of drunk. They will argue with you. Heck, they will knock your teefus out yo mouth. The juice makes the already boiling anger boil over and folks are left thinking Yikes! A good time was being had by all and then....danggone.

Recently I had too many. But I am glad to know that I'm not an angry drunk. As a matter of fact, I'm a happy, laughing, horny drunk.

What type of drunk are you or have you been? Did I leave out a drunk type? If so, describe that drunk.

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.