Wrapping Up Hair At Night Is Not Sexy

I had the most interesting conversation with a light-skinned black male over the weekend.

He was a double-take type of guy, but I’m a brown-skinned type of gal so the double-take was just for amusement.

Let me set the scene. I’m with a guy that I’m dating and two of his friends meet us at a bar. I’m the only female but whatever. That doesn’t bother me.

I have a berry mojito so I’m cool and the gang.

Any who.

When he started talking about meeting various types of women in different cities, I turned on my bionic powers to catch every word.

“Dallas – got ‘em.” He was talking about beautiful women.

The conversation just seemed like an overflow of testosterone actually and didn’t offer any real value, any real edumucation. Just men being men.

He goes on and he was like the Energizer Bunny talking, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

He told a story about being on a trip somewhere and he had an opportunity to hook up with four beautiful women and for once in his life, he said he was scared. He didn’t want to have them all meet him back at the hotel, so he was trying to figure out what to do.

This offered a bit of value. It showed how guys really can’t think on their feet.

I’m sure women can figure out a way to entertain four guys – at least three. Tell one you have had too much to drink and will meet him for breakfast. Tell the other one let’s leave right now. And if really curious, curious and a horndog tell the other one to meet you at 4 a.m. Voila! LOLOLOLOL

Any who.

He brags a bit about how he was able to rearrange things and work it out.

Yea, OK, OK, uh huh, OK.

He then begins to talk about the type of woman he likes. He said he likes exotic-looking women. He said he does not date women darker than me. Ahright, I'm light-skinned.

I turned the bionic powers back on. I’ve got to hear this.

"Really," I say.

"No, I don’t. It’s just what I like," he says.

I love that he is unapologetic about it. Kinda cocky, but hey, it is what it is.

He goes on about nice hair.

"I love nice hair," he says.

OK.

But then he just let’s loose. I hate when black women put that weave in their heads.

Oh my, oh my, oh my.

I try, yea, I really do, but I can’t defend this point. I hate it too. I do understand that some women need assistance, and I managed to get that out of my mouth but I hate it too. What’s wrong with what God gave ya?

His next point was black women don’t work out. Oh my, I have a hobbled leg to stand on here. After all, black women comprise the largest overweight group in America.

But I work out so I go from that angle.

It’s difficult for black women to work out because it’s a hair thing. Our hair gets really messed up when we work out, especially when we sweat in our heads. This, too, often causes black women to be lazy about the maintenance of their hair and just get weaves or braids.

Whew! I feel a little better about the whole thing but this guy is really on to something that I think every black woman needs to hear.

Still he says, "I like nice hair."

Then he says, "I hate those hair wraps."

Oh wow! It is absolutely necessary for a black woman to wrap her hair at night if she wants to preserve her hairdo but oh my goodness, he is sooooo right.

Satin bonnets, doo-rags, scarves are soooo unsexy.

I mention to him that when I entertain for the evening, I actually go to bed with my hair down and then get up in the middle of the night to wrap it.

It’s truly a preference on how I want to look in bed and a foxy little nightie and a satin bonnet don’t equal diggity. I’m not saying that a fella will turn IT down. I’m just saying it doesn’t make you feel the sexiest and doesn’t look the sexiest.

But that's just me.

So what is the answer? Or is there an answer? Or should a man who dates a black woman just know that wrapping her hair is par for the course? That working out often destroys a hairdo?

Share your comments or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.