Does love just happen or does one choose to participate?
I believe that one chooses to participate to love or fall in love. I think a person has to be open to love. I believe that a person has to make a conscientious decision to love and open one’s heart to fall head over hills.
I’ve never skydived but I believe it is like that.
You have to build up enough confidence in yourself to take the plunge and then you have to trust and believe that the parachute, which in this argument would be the other person, will keep you safe and protect you until your feet are on the ground again.
I hope I'm not going to deep.
I have many interesting conversations with people after they read my blog posts and the whole concept of my idea of love and falling in love came up with one of my loyal followers.
He and I have great conversations about life and ummm love. We are in similar places in life. He is going through a divorce. I am divorced. He does not have any children. I do not have any children. As a matter of fact, our birthdays are within days of each other's so we are Kindred Spirits. We think alike on a lot of things but not on the concept of love.
I believe it’s a choice and he believes it is spiritual.
Don’t get me wrong. I believe falling in love is magical. It’s like being high on a drug. It’s like an out-of-body experience, but I think to say it is spiritual makes it seem like we don’t have any control in the matter.
My Kindred Spirit believes that you don’t have any control. It is all about a connection that is stronger than you. It is a connection that just happens.
There’s all kind of research about love and falling in love.
One theory is that love comes in three stages.
The first is romantic love. This is the strong physical attraction that sets the stage.
The second stage is the physical attraction stage when you daydream about that person. This is when dopamine, nonrepinephrine and serotonin are racing through your body and brain. The infatuation is wearing off.
The third stage is the emotional attachment. This is the commitment stage. You see both the negative and positive traits of your partner and choose to stay.
Hmmmm, back to making a choice. Taking a chance.
On the other hand, there’s an area in the brain that lights up while undergoing an MRI if a person is in love, one study has found. So this would support it being out of one's control.
Research also says being in love has the same effect on the body as being on cocaine. Wow! Love is powerful.
We hear people say it all the time, "I am just in love with him or her." "Oh, I just can’t help it."
Can you? What are your thoughts about falling in love and love? Do you make a choice to love or fall in love or is it spiritual?
For fun, take a Am I In Love Test.
If falling in love is a choice then we have some people out here making horrible choices. i don't think falling in love is a choice but nuturing that love is up to you.
ReplyDeleteAs for skydiving, if you ever noticed the person skydiving always have on two parachutes. just in case the first one doesn't open they have a backup. What do you think of that?
I don't believe love is a choice but I do agree with Mr. Fantasy, it is up to both parties to nurtue that love. The magic word here is BOTH. Love is definately spiritual but many of us our operating in the flesh.
ReplyDeleteLove is taking a chance and very risky. It requires trust, trust and more trust. Trust in yourself and trust in the other party involved. So I can see your comparison to skydiving.
Thanks Anonymous and Mr. Fantasy! I definitely believe that nurturing is up to both. No backup Mr. Fantasy, cut it out LOLOL
ReplyDeleteMr. Fantasy, I'm tickled by the implications in your "two parachutes" comparison. I get it, but then here's my question; if the primary parachute opens smoothly and serves its purpose, of what purpose or use would the backup parachute have served? And to take it a step further, is it fair or even possible to concurrently devote the same level of energy/time etc. required to make the necessary determinations about the worth of each "parachute?"
ReplyDeleteWhew Tanqueray! Get 'em LOLOL
ReplyDeleteThe purpose of the backup parachute? It would have served it's intended purpose. BACKUP!! If the chute opens smoothly and serves it's purpose then that is fine but what if the chute doesn't open smoothly? I'll tell you! When it is time to jump again you bring that baggage onto the plane. (doubt, reservations, uncertainty, etc.) None of that is carry on luggage and you refuse to check your bags.
ReplyDeleteAnd to answer your last question, is it possible to determine the worth of each parachute. ABSOLUTELY!! I would hope that before you ventured off into a plane going up 20,000 feet above the ground with the intent on jumping, you would have considered the worth of that parachute.
How about we stick to something with a little less risk!
CHECKERS ANYONE!!!!! LOL
Love is not something that you can simply ignore. It binds you to the person that you have feelings for. Love is wonderful with the right person.
ReplyDeleteLOL! is quite right... I'm afraid you've gotten a little too carried away in your neat example... Remember we are talking about love here, not casual dating or just "kickin it." When you start dealing in feelings you venture into a totally different arena. Usually, when the L word is being used in its most sincere sense, there is no backup plan or plan B. Either you're all in or you're not, thus the high risk level that is often perceived by both parties when it comes to evaluating true love. My refutation of what you've presented is not that you're wrong persay, rather, I disagree with the idea that you can devote what's required or necessary in making love possible (time, commitment, etc.) to multiple individuals simultaneously. In other words, when you decide to board the L plane, leave all the excess bags at the gate. Only 1 bag is permitted....
ReplyDeleteLuv that Tanqueray!! and Vettebooks you are saying it's spiritual right?
ReplyDeleteWow!! Who has some orange juice? This tanqueray is to strong.
ReplyDeleteMr. Fantasy, what happened? Once you get some OJ, please proceed with your backup parachute argument LOLOLOLOL
ReplyDeleteLOLOL! I know you like it "straight up" no chaser, Mr. Fantasy ;-)
ReplyDeleteKeep it comin' Ms. Jeter, I'm enjoying your discussion threads! Blessings to you on your journey as well!