On our journeys to work or play, we obey certain traffic signs along area highways and roadways.
Stop signs make us stop.
Yield signs cause us to pause.
Flashing School Zone lights tell us to slow down.
Green lights give us permission to keep going.
When we are on the roadway alone and don't follow traffic signs no one knows.
Other times when we don't adhere to traffic signs, we see the dreaded flashing red and white lights appear out of nowhere in our rearview mirrors.
And sometimes we may even cause a crash.
So if we adhere to traffic signs on our journeys to work and play, why don't do we do the same on our journeys for love?
We want children, but we will date someone who doesn't want any more or someone who has even had a vasectomy.
"Oh, he will get it reversed."
We want to get married, but we will date someone who says, ummm, "I don't wanna get married."
"Oh, I will change his mind. He just hasn't met someone like me."
We say that we didn’t realize he was married or in a relationship with another woman.
Ummm, sure you did!
His inaccessibility at certain times of the day and mmm, maybe holidays, were the clues. And errr ummm, possibly him getting out of your bed at the crack of dawn to ummm go home is another.
We aren't sure if he likes us because he only calls sometimes.
Nope, he doesn't like you. He's only using you as filler. He's likely saying, "Ummm, I'll fill-her time, fill-her space, fill-her needs until someone I really like comes along."
I didn't know he had a temper. OK, so the hole he punched in the wall didn't give you any indication?
Ladies, we get signs all the time. We just choose to ignore them. We think we got away with it because no one saw us commit the love journey offense.
We may be in a rush, ya know, that biological clock is ticking.
You've seen the flashing red and white lights in the rearview mirror and you've gotten the ticket and you just accept it. You settle.
So don't get mad at HIM when you choose to run through that stop sign and cause an at-fault relationship crash.
Almost 40, recently divorced (about 2 years)and can I boast that I'm so much wiser and my new mantra "wouldn't take nothin' for my journey now" (stolen from Maya Angelou)I speak daily. I've spent a lifetime trying to make men become what I wanted them to be regardless of what they want for themselves. In my new life, and yes it is brand new, if I see that you are unaccountable and irresponsible then I say, "it was nice meeting you" and walk away. Unfortunately for me I had to go to the school of Hard Knocks to learn this lesson. I feel so good knowing that I don't have to say yes just because...I will only accept a man who has a history of being responsible (past is prologue), and an income that he is proud of (not me) because money is about the man and how it makes him feel. If there is drama in your life than I want to stay away from it and you. When the drama is over maybe then you can give me a call. I have stood in front of the mirror and been painfully honest with myself. All the issues with the man I divorced I saw the signs long before I said "I do." Now I say, "never again" I don't ever have to be married to feel good about me, I like sex, but will pass if the package is not for me and I already have 3 children who still remember when "Daddy lived with us." No longer driving through the stop signs, not only will I stop but I will sit there until I know, that I know, that I know....the sign says "go!"
ReplyDeleteI have one measure. Here it is: PEOPLE "SHOW YOU" WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT YOU. If you are wasting time listening to wonderful words you are on your way to that crash Darlene was talking about. Trust me, people will show you exactly what they think about you. I always say to myself, I DESERVE BETTER.
ReplyDeleteRuben
This one is deep. I am a successful and educated 34 year old. I have been described as handsome, attractive, athletically built, charismatic, personable, respectable, a role model, and god fearing. I am also a recent divorcee, papers were final in 2007. What I learned is exactly what DJ talks about in the blog...do not ignore the signs. They are always there. It doesnt take hindsight. Just listen and pay attention. If people have issues and or dont mean you any good, they will tell on themselves. "Give a person enough rope and they will hang themselves". It is in our subconscious that allows these people to get away, slip through the cracks and find a place where they are able to affect our hearts and psyche in a manner that deprives us of our spirit. Bad relationships suck the life out of a person. You do not live, you merely exist. So heed the warnings. Train your subconscious to be conscious of those signs so you may react accordingly when those indicators of future grief show themselves. Until then...Drive safe
ReplyDelete