I talk to my mom everyday. Sometimes we talk for a few minutes and other days we have long drawn-out conversations.
Yesterday, we talked about me going back to work after a staycation for my birthday. She reminded me about the importance of a positive attitude because of a work situation. "Yea, ma, uh huh, uh huh," I say.
Then she told me about a potential tenant she has. We talked about an upcoming wedding in the family and what I was cooking for dinner and what she and my dad ate. We were all over the place just jackin' our jaws.
We were about to get off the phone and end our daily session when she told me my 74-year-old cousin had gotten his back window busted outta his car.
Whatda? Whatda? Whatda?
And then she says whoever did it also used a nailed and scratched off the paint and really messed the car up.
My lip fell on da floor and my eyes popped outta my head.
"Ma, a woman did that," I say.
"Yea, I know chile," she responds. "Women can be treacherous. And it's probably one of those young women(s)."
My mom is old school and southern so often a word is pronounced in plural when it should NOT be, so yea she said womens and chile not child. :)
Before I know it, I am leaning up against the wall in hysterics because my mother is funny.
She said that my cousin ended up putting his car in the garage after his it was attacked.
Yessss, she said his car was attacked and when she said "attacked" I doubled over.
My mother continues on to say that she told him that a woman did it but he played it down like he didn't know who could be responsible.
Oh my, by this time, I wanted to hit the floor because my stomach was in sooooo much pain from laffin'.
I manage to say, "Ma, he knows a woman did it."
And she steps on my tongue before I finish because I'm laffin so hard and says, "I know! You ain't gotta tell me. And he know too."
But I'm a little shocked that a woman busted out the back window of my cousin's Cadillac. Yea, I know folks do that kind of shiggidy all the time, but I really thought that at a certain age that bustin' out windows and keyin' cars stopped!
What da fudge!
And then I'm thinkin' this could be a dealbreaker for an older man who likes a younger woman. Ain't nobody got no money for fixing that kind of stuff any way but especially when you are on Social Security!
I don't like to get in folks' business but I just wanna know, what da hizzel did a 74-year-old man do to make a woman soooooo angry that she turned around and around and around (like Superwoman) and became the Super Attack Cars Woman.
I'm just shaking my head.
My cousin used to say he didn't want more than 100 years in his bed and if that is still the case the culprit would be 26. Wowsa Yowsa!
But I'm thinking the woman has to be more like 40 or 50 because he said this a long time ago, and hopefully he got through that phase.
Soooooo what the heck can make a 40- or 50-year-old woman mad enough to break out the back window of a Cadillac?
Sex at 74? OK, maybe Viagra is more powerful than I think. Money on a fixed income? Heck, maybe she saw him with another woman.
I dunno.
But what I do know is messin' with a person's car at any age is cause for a cease and desist, dismissed and no longer exist order.
Have you ever heard of someone who wasn't in their teens or 20s busting out someone's car window? What the heck caused the person to attack the car? LOLOLOLOL
Tell me.
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