Exercise Faces Similar To Sex Faces

There was a young lady working out in front of me recently who was bouncing all around. She was short and round and reminded me of a ball just bouncing around at a family picnic.

I love to work out near people who are full of energy because it helps me get in a good workout but it was just something about this girl that irritated the bazooka outta me.

And this wasn’t the first time that I was highly irritated when working out.

In my boot camp class, which includes exercises that are supposed to be done in unison, people who are offbeat, going too slow, going too fast and on the wrong leg just irritate me.

There are people who will jump in front of you during challenges in class and whew they make the absolute ugliest faces in the world. Eyes wide open, lips twisted. Yuckola!

Any who. There is a woman who makes the ugliest faces I’ve ever seen in my life.

It’s like looking at a scary movie. Or having someone wearing the Scream mask jump in front of you while you are trying to exercise. Ahhhhh!

And then there are the energy monsters.

At the beginning of working out, some people have a burst of energy. They are like the Energizer bunny on Red Bull. They start out at this crazy pace and then crash and burn.

They are moving sooooooo fast and just all over the place. Sometimes, they are moving sooooo fast that they get offbeat.

I have no idea why the thought entered my mind, but I started thinking about sex.

I think that people likely have sex the way that they work out. If they are making ugly faces while working out they are likely making ugly faces during sex. If they are offbeat while working out, they are offbeat in the bed.

And then the thought enters my mind of the offbeat fella in my class.

I can only imagine how difficult it would be to get in a groove with someone who is bursting with energy and going sooooooo fast. One would have to grab his hips and say, "slow down baby, slow damn down."

Being offbeat in the bed with someone has to be the worst. Two people going at it for no rhyme or reason. Ummm, no thanks.

And then my mind went to two people with all that energy together in bed. It would be like watching a car race that ends in a crash.

There probably aren’t many men who would turn down diggity because of an ugly expression but wowsa yowsa, I don’t know if I could continue to sleep with a person who makes one of the ugliest faces I’ve ever seen in my life.

I work out at a steady pace.

Yea, sometimes I have to get serious and may not smile as much, but wouldn’t you be freaked out if you were having sex with someone and they smiled the whole time?

Seriously, it would be like sleeping with the Joker from Batman. Just crazy.

Do you like going fast and furiously or are you a slow, let- me-get-in-the-groove type of person? Do you have a problem with ugly faces when having sex?

Share your comments with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.