Thoughtless On Thanksgiving

I made a terrible mistake on Thanksgiving.

I took the guy that I amdating to my cousin's home for Thanksgiving dinner.

That doesn’t seem too bad, right?

Well, wrong.

My cousin and I have been a bit distant over recent years. Growing up, we were inseparable. She’s two years older than me so I loved being around her. Heck, I looked up to her and thought she was supa cool.

Additionally, I was a Catholic school girl and she was a public school student. As a teen, that gained folks immediate COOOOL points.

Any who.

She texted me and said she was going to have Thanksgiving dinner and invited me over. I was excited.

I tell my new beau about the plans. We were gonna go to my cousin's, my sister's and my mother's. Christmas Eve is when we all get together as a family so that’s why both my sister and mother were cooking on Thanksgiving.

We take a mini trip to the other side of town to get to her home and I'm excited as ever to see her. She introduces me to her husband. He seems OK, but I did notice that he talked about having to get up at 3 a.m. to go to work immediately.

I tease him and try to keep things light and fun and say, "We are going to eat and run."

I chuckled and I noticed that he didn't. Still, I don't let his attitude or what seemed to be an attitude rub off on me.

But then before things got better, they got worse.

He told me that if something happened to my cousin, I wouldn’t find out for a week. He asked why did I get a divorce and when I gave my generic standard answer, "Things didn’t work out" he kept prying.

Ummm, yea I felt a bit uncomfy at that point and I couldn't imagine what my new beau was thinking.

Finally, I decided it was time for us to go. I finish sipping on the drink she had given me and I thank her for the invitation and tell them to get some rest for work the next day and sprint for the door.

Once in the car, me and my beau agree it was definitely uncomfortable and that my cousin's hubby wasn’t at all welcoming or friendly.

We get to my mom's house and I tell her about the incident and she said, "I should have known better." UUmmmmm, wow! But I took the gut shot.

My mom continues to tell me that on Thanksgiving you want to be around the people that you are most thankful to have in your life -- the people who have prayed for you and encouraged you and been nice to you! My mom is a straight-shooter. But she hit me with gut shot after gut shot.

After she finished, I think about it and determine that I actually agreed with her assessment. What the heck was I thinking?

I made a terrible Turkey Day mistake. Have you been around relatives on holidays who were just plain rude and unfriendly?

Toast To Getting Over A Breakup

Getting over a breakup can be tough, particularly as the holiday season approaches.

I talked with one of my good friends about a recent breakup and her feelings as we get ready to kick off the 2009 holiday season.

She spent the past few years with him and it’s going to take some getting used to that they are not together. Additionally, he has moved on in a major way. Ummmm, he has a new girl in his life and has gone as far as to say he loves her.

Heck, he even has said he would marry her. Mind you, he was diametrically opposed to marrying my gf.

Any who.

As I talk to her, I can feel her pain. I can feel the fear she has about what the future holds for her in the relationship department. I can feel her apprehension about how to maintain relationships she developed with others while with him. I can feel the hurt over him moving on soooo quickly.

I’ve been there, so immediately I take the opportunity to tell her my thoughts.

You will feel better tomorrow, and better next week and next month even better. By next year, you will be a brand new version of yourself -- better, better, oohhh sooo better.

I remind her how just over a year ago, how I was devastated about the fall of my marriage. I remind her how I wouldn’t change a thang. Nope, not one thing.

I am soooo much more happier and God has blessed me with a peace that I never knew existed. I don’t even know how to explain the peace that I have. Really!

She listens and then tells me something put it on her heart to call me and share her feelings with me. And goes further to say that she knew that I would have something good to say to get her back on track.

And that’s fo sho, fo sho, fo sho.

We talk about how she thought dealing with someone new may help her get over the pain she feels. The pain will definitely go away, but then I tell her as long as you do not mislead any one, do whatever you would like to do. You can date!

I know that people have many tips to get over a breakup, but the most important thing to do as far as I’m concerned is to pray for a healed hurt. I did. And ummm, and don’t judge me, I had several dates with Chardy Chard.

What is the best way to get over a breakup?

Women Fake Orgasms A Lot?

There aren’t many things that render me speechless but recently I was at a loss of words.

Someone asked me why do women fake orgasms?

Hmmm, I was trying to think. I was trying to come up with something. After a few minutes, I said, "Well, it may be to make the guy feel better."

After all, if a guy is panting and sweating and breathing heavy and the woman is just waiting for it all to end, she may fake it so she can roll over and fall asleep. LOLOL

And even if she is enjoying the sexcapade, she may want to pretend that she has reached an orgasm for bedroom sound effects.

Heck, I dunno.

It seems to me that a woman shouldn’t fake it because what good does faking it really do? A guy may think he has actually pleased a woman and boy oh boy would he be wrong.

I think a smart fella has studied a woman, if the chickypoo is not just a jump off, and he knows if she is faking or not. Hmmmm, maybe he doesn't. I dunno.

And most women do not reach a climax vaginally so maybe that's why women fake it.

With all that said, I stumbled across a Web site that gives tips on how to fake an orgasm.

Whatda? Whatda? Whatda?

They are:

Keep your eyes closed.
Make an occasional gasp.
Pant.
Grab the sheets or pillows.
Master moaning.

This is some of the most ridiculous stuff I’ve ever read, but I’m sure that there are big fakers out there.

But I’m still trying to figure out what the heck does faking really do? And why do women fake it? Tell me.

Women Really Want To Be Porn Stars In Bed

This week on Oprah she talked about porn and how more women are viewing pornography online.

She had a sexpert on who said women want to be a porno star for their mate.

I was lying in the bed on a sleepless night, not even realizing that Oprah repeats at 2 a.m.

Any who. When I heard this statement, I got really interested in what was going on.

Up until then she had Jenna Jameson talking about building her empire and having sex with her ex-husband for most of her career and having twin boys and hoping that they will not have to suffer because of her career choice. Booooooooring!

But when the sexpert said every woman wants to be a porno star for their mate, I flipped over, put my hand up under my head and paid attention.

The sexpert goes on to talk about the popularity of Erotica movies versus pornography. She also said there is a rise of porno that is made with a woman in mind. Porno that actually has a story involved and that women actually want to know how it ends.

They referenced a Massage porno that Jameson made, and ummmm I wanna see it.

But the idea of every woman wanting to be a porno star to her mate made me think long and hard.

Yea, women want to perform well. Yea, women want to make diggity exciting, but do we secretly want to be a porno star? And heck, do we secretly want to be a stripper?

Hehehehe, I think so. What do you think?

When He Doesn't Ask You Out Again

I’m always excited when my gfs go out on dates. It may just be that they have found that love of their life and it’s material for my blog. :)

One of my gfs recently met a new guy and they went on a date and from everything that she told me things were fine, but there’s one problem.

He hasn’t asked her out again.

I keep asking, “When are you guys going out again?” “When are you going to see him again?”

She seems unaffected. She hasn't given it a second thought.

I’m not trying to be a pest but I’ve always thought that if a guy is interested, he will ask you out.

And yea, I know there are all kinds of rules of engagement. Don’t seem so eager. Don’t call so quickly. Don’t seem like you don’t have a life. All that.

But shouldn’t a guy ask a girl out within a day or two if he is really interested?

I think I have experience in the dating world, although I can’t say that I’m the master dater. I’m more of a one guy at a time type of girl. There’s pros and cons to this but it’s the way I am so it just is what it is.

Any who.

I’ve gone out on dates before and wasn’t interested in seeing the guy any more. It wasn’t like he was a terrible fella. It was just that I was no longer interested. I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings so I don’t come right out and say, “No, I don’t want to see you again,” but I’m behaving in an uninterested way. But errr uhhh, I will be straightforward and direct if it becomes necessary.

I may not answer when he calls. If he asks to see me again, I may tell him I have plans.

As a matter of fact, I went out with a guy who told me that he didn’t want any children on the date. He was a cool guy, but as soon as he said that I told myself that he is a waste of time and there’s no need for a part two.

I was uninterested. He may be wondering why I wasn’t interested because I never told him, but whatever.

Soooo, if a guy is interested in a woman how long should he take to ask her out again? And should you tell someone while on a date, NO, I’m not interested in seeing you again because…..

Is Snoring Unlady Like?

Snoring is more likely to be a problem with men and for people who are overweight.

And if you are sleeping with the snoring enemy, it will just get worse with time or perhaps you will just get used to it.

Research shows that 45 percent of adults snore occasionally and 25 percent are habitual snorers.

And here's one more medical thingamagig, snoring is an indication of obstructed breathing.

With all that said, I think it's more likely for a woman to look at a man catching zzzzs and raising the roof with all the ruckus than it is for a man to look at a woman who is snoring away like a bear.

I've read that snoring is a big deal in relationships. I can't say that I've ever truly experienced a problem with a bear in my bed. There have been bouts of extra heavy breathing after a couple cocktails but I can't say that I've done a bunch of pushing and shoving to turn over because of snoring.

It seems also that snoring can cause a couple to break up a marriage or a relationship.

I couldn't find any statistics so I sought information from the Diggity Institute. The findings were that men are not as affected in relationships. Women, on the other hand, are viewed differently when they snore.

The Diggity Institute says this is a turnoff to men. Women will sleep with a man who snores loudly and proudly, but men will not. They prefer heavy breathers. LOLOLO

Is the research from the Diggity Institute correct? Ladies, are you turned off by your man's snoring? Fellas, are you turned off by your lady snoring? Tell me.

Finger Length Determines Jerks?

It may not take a few dates any more to figure out if a guy is a jerk.

There are all kinds of talk about a man's shoe size and hand size. I even discovered that the size of a DI is the length from the base of the hand to the tip of the middle finger. Yep, sure did.

But now there's research that indicates that the length of the fourth finger will determine if you are dating a jerk.

A new study says a hormone known as androgen which affects masculine traits like aggression and strength can affect that finger's length. When there are high levels in the womb, the fourth finger becomes longer than the second finger.

If that fourth finger is longer, the person is more likely to be more competitive and promiscuous.

Yikes.

I'm not sure what this indicates in females and although the study doesn't reveal anything about women, it can’t be a good thing.

And if you don't think the finger is a good indicator of a jerk, there are a few other signs of jerkitis.

10. He won't stop talking about himself.

9. He never opens the door for you. In fact, he often slams it shut in your face.

8. He introduces you as "Some chick I’m with."

7. He won't stop talking about his former girlfriends.

6. He spends more time gazing into the mirror than he does into your eyes.

5. He spends more time gazing at other women than he does into your eyes.

4. His endearing names for you include "fat butt," and "dummy."

3. He hates your dog.

2. Your dog hates him.

1. When he says he'll call and of course doesn't, you're genuinely relieved.

Fellas, are these signs real indicators? What are other signs that you are dating the wrong guy or girl?

Is It OK For A Guy To Cry?

On a gray Sunday, I watched several shows that touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

I was at home alone so no one got a chance to see the tears fall from my eyes. And it wasn't too many tears because my dog didn't pay it any attention.

Fast forward.

I’m talking to one of my gfs and telling her how sappy I had been, and wondering why I was soooooo emotional watching TV. Conclusion was it was waaaay tooo much Lifetime and Hallmark. :)

We laugh but somehow the conversation switches to guys being emotional and crying and how she does not want to see a man cry.

We laugh some more.

I tell her I'm OK with a guy crying. I’m OK with a guy being emotional because I think it shows that he is human and that he feels.

Plus, to me it's refreshing to see a guy experience an emotion other than anger.

She took the opposite stance. No crying ummmmm unless it's at a funeral.

No weaklings, no wimps, no criers allowed! It's not how the men in her family have operated, she says.

I have strong men in my family and it doesn't negate their masculinity when I have seen them cry, I respond.

My father was soooo emotional when my grandmother died that I really didn't know how to respond, but it made it clear to me that he is strong but human.

And heck, I cry and I know I'm about as strong as they come :) I'm also emotional but it doesn't mean that I'm a whimp either.

But she says it's OK for a woman to be emotional. It's OK for women to cry.

We keep going.

I pose a hypothetical. Wedding vows says good, bad, rich, poorer, etc. so if your husband comes to you with something and he's emotional and he's sharing with you his feelings, you would think less of him if he cried.

This is when I knew there was no softening her on her perspective.

She went as far as to say that she would prefer that he see a spiritual advisor or therapist instead of crying in front of her. Her conclusion was only at funerals or if the spirit moved in church.

We go back and forth like champions on the tennis court. Wham! I hit the ball. Wham! She returns it.

And then finally I realize we are sooooo far apart on this issue that we laugh and let it go.

But is it OK for a guy to cry? Is it OK for him to be emotional? How much is too much for a man to cry?

'Pleasure Is In Your Own Hands'

How often do you please yourself, whack off, get down by yourself, ummm masturbate?

This is an extremely personal question, but I think it’s necessary to know about your significant other.

In my mind, it indicates many things.

Hmmm, for a woman I think it indicates if she knows her body. After all, how can you expect a guy to get you there and you don’t even know how to get yourself there.

And for a guy, I think the same.

I also think that it says something about a person’s sexual drive, too. Although if a person is getting into the habit of just personal pleasing and don’t want to be involved with another party, there may be an intimacy problem.

I once had a person tell me that a woman who uses toys may not desire her partner as much. Well, I’m not so sho about that theory because there’s nothing that can take the place of human touch and as humans we should all crave human touch.

But back to the question of masturbating.

Spain is about to launch a sex education program. The slogan is "Pleasure is in your own hands."

I love it. It seems so empowering. :)

And from all that I have read, there isn’t a certain amount of masturbating that is considered healthy or unhealthy. Everybody has different desires and needs and drives so three times a week may be the key for one person while everyday or several times a day is necessary for another.

People please themselves for several reasons. First and foremost, many do it for pleasure. But others do it to celebrate or release stress.

And if you don’t masturbate, it likely stems from feelings of guilt that were instilled in you as a child. Masturbation is bad. For guys, you don’t masturbate if you can get a woman cause only men who can’t get a woman masturbate. Not true.

If it’s OK for your girl to give a hand job, ummm you might wanna do it yourself first so that she doesn’t kill herself trying to figure out which way you like it. If you have done it yourself, you will know and ummm you can tell her. LOLOLOLO

Same thing for the ladies, don’t go jumping in the sack with a guy and expect him to make you see fireworks when you have not a clue as to what helps you to see stars. LOLOLOL

But if your significant other asked you how often do you masturbate, are you prepared to give an honest answer?

Sagging And Bouncing Boobies Need Support

There comes a time in a person's life when brutal, in-yo-face honesty is needed.

Oprah tried to reach all of these women a few years back. She did a show on how to get measured properly for a bra, but she didn’t reach everyone so I’m mobilizing the troops to start a wear a good bra campaign.

I'm an underwear crazy woman. I like pretty underwear. I like underwear to match. But I'm adding one more thing to my obsession with underwear. I want women to wear bras that actually provide support. I also want women who are bigger than a B cup to get out of the I Can Go Without My Bra Club because you cannot.

I gave up my membership to the I Can Go Without My Bra Club a few years back. I’ve had boobies since the 4th grade, yep, 4th grade. And quite honestly, I remained the same size from 4th grade until I was about 30. Fo real, fo real.

I could wear halters and strapless cutesy tops and not even worry. Banga Boom. Pow Yow! Step out and there wouldn't be so much bounce. Cute. Foxy.

But I had to give up my membership to the I Can Go Without My Bra Club. But er uhhh, I haven't given up my membership to the Perky Club. LOLOLOL

Any who.

I see soooo many women who have on bras that are doing absolutely nothing -- notta, zip, zero, zilch, negative. The way they look before they put on a bra is the way they look when they put on a bra.

Your boobs are not supposed to hang! I'm screaming now. Your boobs are not supposed to hang!!

I don’t care if you have had children. There are bras to make the girls look specfabulous.

Recently, I had to have a bra intervention with a good friend. She wears nice bras but she pulls the support strappy thingamajigs down so loosely that there’s absolutely no support and it looked as if she didn’t even have a bra on when she would be wearing one.

The intervention required her to look at her boobies with her bra and then look at her boobies without her bra and then finally to look at her boobies with the bra with the straps tightened. She was amazed at the difference. And I was doing the happy dance because she finally got it.

But there’s a need, a real need for friends across the country to unite and tell their friends, sisters, mothers that their bras don’t fit right. They don't fit correctly. Your bra doesn't look right. Your bra is all wrong. All to get across the point that bras should provide support.

I remember when I gave up my membership to the I Can Go Without My Bra Club. It was my ex-husband who told me that I needed to go home and put on a bra. I was shocked. I gave him attitude, like you talking to me!

I was really shocked, but he was serious and it was the truth. And the truth needed to be told. I had no business wearing that top without a bra -- flat out.

So ladies and guys, it's time to unite to fight for the bra cause. If your friend, woman, relative is wearing a bra that doesn’t provide support, tell her. And if your friend or wife is going without a bra and should not be doing so tell her.

I'll deal with funky butts going without underwear next time ya hear. LOLOLOLOL

Do you know someone who needs a bra intervention? Tell me about it.

Listen To Your Loved One's War, Life Stories

Every week, I go to my sister’s for Sunday dinner.

It’s our time to catch up, chit chat, laugh and enjoy each other’s company. During these visits, I also get to see my niece and nephew and brother-in-law.

Often, we watch TV, either a sporting event or a good movie, but usually it’s the lively conversation that is most memorable.

On a recent Sunday, my brother-in-law talked about his experiences in the Vietnam War. I knew he was a Vietnam veteran but I had never heard his war stories.

I’m not sure how we got on the topic of war, but we were there and it was clear that he needed to tell us all about it. After all, talking about stuff is therapeutic. :)

He started off by saying he was a Point Man during the war. This meant that he went ahead of his platoon.

He said that he remained on duty for long periods of time because he was so successful in his responsibilities.

As he talked about it, he seemed to revisit the whole experience in his mind. He was gesturing like he had a gun in his hand. He was animated. He was passionate. Clearly, the war has affected him. While there are no visible signs of wounds, he is wounded.

After describing his duties as a Point Man, he started talking about one of his friends, heck, he said this man was his best friend while in the Army.

This friend received a record player from a family member with only one album, and I can’t remember the name of the song, but my brother-in-law said they played the tune over and over and over again.

He said that his bf said something a bit morbid while listening to the album one night about possibly not going home. He said he played down the comment and continued on laughing and enjoying their time together.

Soon, the men were faced with another battle and this friend stepped on a landmine.

My brother-in-law described how they talked to each other. How they told each other how much they loved each other and enjoyed each other’s company. They thanked each other. My brother-in-law said they weren’t sobbing, but extremely emotional about the impending death.

The friend said his final goodbyes and every one took off in the opposite direction before soon hearing an explosion.

My brother in law said that when they went back to the scene his friend's body parts were all over. A leg here, an arm over there, his head over there.

It was one of the saddest stories I’ve ever heard in my life, but I didn’t reveal my emotions to my brother-in-law because his was his time to shine. It was his time to let it all out. It was his time to remember a great friend.

I fought back tears. I glanced over at the TV. I started a side conversation with my niece. I was doing anything and everything so that a tear would not fall.

As I reflected on what he said later, I realized the task that my sister has been charged with. It’s important for her to listen. It’s important for her to try to understand. It’s important for her to let him let it all out.

While every one may not be a veteran, how important is it to you to have your significant other listen to you and your experiences? Tell me.

Nothing Is More Important Than Family

I got this in an e-mail from one of my very good friends. It touched my heart so I wanted to share. Also, it is our family and relationships with family members that shape other relationships in our lives. Enjoy!

A nice reminder to all of you with full lives.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health, Friends, your passion or calling – Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else -- The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
So...Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.

Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
'Take care of the golf balls first -- The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Hanging Out With Other Couples

It's healthy for couples to hang out with other couples.

There's nothing wrong with married people hanging with single people. I don't believe that single people can convince a married person into doing something that he or she does not want to do.

I do believe, however, that married women should not listen to single women in the advice department. I mean really how can a person who is single offer any advice about marriage? Marriage is complex and it's waaaaay more difficult to be in one than people think, so what the heck can a single person tell a married person about marriage?

It bewilders me when I hear a woman or a man offer advice to someone when they cannot beg, borrow or steal a person to be in his or her life.

When you don't have a man, ummmm don't give advice.

When you don't have a woman, ummmm don't give advice.

And to the goofballs who listen to peeps who do not have anyone, there is something wrong with you.

Would you take advice from a homeless person on how to buy a home? Nope so why would you listen to someone who doesn't have a significant other? Makes no sense to me but it happens all the time.

And once a couple has decided to make a go of a relationship, it's time to start filling their lives with quality time with other couples.

Not just any ole couples either. Couples who are positive. Couples who don't talk to each other disrespectfully. Couples who like to have fun. Couples who know about difficulties and work through them. Couples who are examples. Couples who display love.

And then when it comes to advice about a relationship, it is advantageous to listen to people who speak life into difficult situations. People who see the positive even if there isn't much positive to see.

There's no research, at least not that I could find, that says couples should hang out with other couples but I think they should.

What are your thoughts? Should couples hang out with other couple to keep a relationship strong?

Touching Small Of Back Leads To Orgasms

When you get all hot and bothered, there are likely spots that get you really hot and bothered, but sex experts say fudge the regular old spots if you are interested in getting things really revved up. Try something new.

And heck maybe you’ve tried it but I just thought I would pass along the 411.

But if you hate footsies, the first one is not for you.

A woman's big toe is supposedly an erogenous zone.

Yea, folks talk of toes curling and toe-curling diggity but it appears that the big toe has a neurological link between your private. It has actually been discovered that stimulating the big toe and the footsies can cause a woman to have an orgasm.

The first time I had reflexology done on my feet during a massage, it was mind blowing. I really enjoyed it. I mean, I really enjoyed it. I didn’t think I had an orgasm. *blushing*

But I do remember being wiped out and completely relaxed.

And then the experts say that the soles of his feet is another sexy spot.

Ladies, here's the move the experts say you should try.

"Aim for an acupressure point on the bottom of his foot, about one-third of the way down from the third toe. This is nicknamed the Bubbling Spring since pressing here and holding for a few seconds can cause energy to 'bubble up' the legs to the genitals." explains Michael Gach, Ph.D. "Or try lightly brushing the soles of his feet."

Next.

I'm not only going give the information on how to get the ladies hot and bothered. The article says that a guy's nipples are an errogenous zone baaaby. LOLOLOL A guy's nipples contain just as many nerve endings as a woman's.

Ummmm, I didn’t know that.

Ladies, I will leave it up to your creativity for what to do with them. :)

And then there's the nose for him and her. It has more nerve endings than any other part of the face. The experts suggest nibbling on the tips of each other's noses.

Make sure all the boogers have been removed. LOLOLOL

The Sacrum is up next. You've likely never heard of this unless you are in the medical field, but it is the small of the back. It contains nerves that shoot directly to the genitals.

And there's a high success rate in kissing, caressing and messing around with the small of a woman's back.

Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson, coauthors of The Essence of Tantric Sexuality, say the "electric stimulation of this nerve will trigger an orgasm in 91 percent of women."

Wowsa Yowsa. 91! 91! 91 percent!

And Dr. Gach says fellas should use their "tongue or fingers to delve into this indentation. If that's too intense, ask him to caress or kiss his way two to three inches southward. He'll hit three acupressure points, called the Sea of Energy, which are linked to sexual pleasure as well as to fertility."

Read the article for yourself.

Happy Relationships!

Do You Say I Love You Enough?

I've always been a firm believer that a person can show you better than they can tell you.

Although this is my mindset, I recently debated the idea of saying, "I love you" with a friend.

I grew up in a household where there wasn't a whole bunch of hugging and kissing, but I knew without a doubt that I was loved. Heck, my siblings may even say that I'm loved the most because I didn't get as many whoopings and ummm I am the baby. *blinking eyes*

Any who.

I know that there are people who say "I love you" all the time when getting off the phone. I do not do this.

I call my mother just about every day. We talk. We laugh. I make sure everything is OK with her and she does the same for me. I love her and she loves me. Yet, when we get off the phone I either say, "talk to you later" or "bye."

This is my mother and I know it's different than a male-female relationship, but it is a relationship of love. Also, I think it has shaped me to express my love a certain way.

Don't get me wrong. My mother has told me she loves me. And I hear it a lot when going through a difficulties.

Interestingly, my sister says "I love you, Pooder" just about every time we hang up from each other. And I always respond with "I love you, too."

I'm not a mushy, eeeewy geewey drippin' with "I love you" at every turn even in romantic relationships.

I'm more of a leave-a-note or do something nice type of girl to express my love.

And while it's good to have someone do something nice for you, does hearing someone say, "I Love You" mean more or make a person feel better?

Do you need to hear your significant other say, "I love you" or are you OK with him or her showing you that they love you? Do you feel the same way when it comes to for your family members and friends? Tell me.

Cuddle Buddies Don't Want Sex

Nothing ceases to amaze me, but I was shocked just for just a second when I read a story about a Cuddle Buddy.

Heck, I was thinking a Cuddle Buddy would be someone you like cuddling with and having diggity with. Ummm, sorta like a boo during the winter, but boy oh boy was I wrong.

A Cuddle Buddy is a term that women use to describe someone that they deal with during the winter months when they can’t find Mr. Right.

He’s not a boyfriend. He’s not a one-night stand and he’s not a friend with benefits.

Whatda? Whatda? Whatda?

I really need to get out more.

The Cuddle Buddy will be interested in eating Chinese takeout with a woman, watching TV and basically hanging out with her during the winter months.

He will also not make a woman’s life complicated with unnecessary drama and ultimatums. And get this, he will NOT fall in love either.

But if a woman wants a Cuddle Buddy, she can’t come on to him in an overtly sexual manner. This will scare him off because he is not interested in sex.

It’s suggested that a woman looking for a Cuddle Buddy exhibit cuteness instead of sexiness.

Cuddle Buddies are also known to hang out at cafes and libraries. He will not be at a house party or in a bar.

OK, the idea of a Cuddle Buddy is something totally new to me. I thought the whole reason folks wanted to hook up or have somebody in the winter was for diggity, but I guess I’m wrong.

But I’m also very perplexed, confused and befuddled by the idea of two people spending sooooo much time together and never wanting to do The Do.

Are there really men out there who will spend quality time with a woman and never want sex?

It's Break Up Season For People Who Share

After writing about boo hunting season and not taking someone home to meet your family during the holidays if you meet them after Halloween, I got some interesting feedback.

I was told that this is the time that many men and yea women will begin to start arguments or become a more distant to the ones that are not their No. 1.

Yep, if you are dealing with a person who is dealing with you and a few more, and you are not No. 1 get ready to get the boot.

Folks will NOT be spending their holiday season with their No. 2 or No. 3. LOLOLOLOL

Honestly, the thought of this made me a bit uncomfortable, but all is fair in love in war.

Still, I started thinking of prior relationships. I don’t think this has ever happened to me and if it did I was clueless Kelly.

I can say, however, that I was involved in a relationship with a person who seemed to just start shiggidy so he could get away and stay away from me. I remember standing in the middle of the room sometimes wondering what the heckypoo set this mofo off?

What da heck did I say to send him over the deep end?

Thank goodness for a brain because it was nothing that I did that set him off.

He was just trying to do what he wanted to do without having to call me or be accountable and he thought that my brain was full of air and I didn’t realize it. Interestingly, it wasn't during the holiday season.

Any who.

Could it be that a lot of the flying-off-the-handle behavior is getting ready to take place between people who are sharing?

Are people actually contemplating that they are going to get rid of one or two people in their lives so that they don't have to buy Christmas gifts or be bothered with No. 2 or No. 3 during the holiday season?

Tell me what you think. Have you ever done this?

Having Sex On The Dance Floor

House music was blarring from the speakers and there were laughs and smiles filling the room as people danced on what many might think is a small dance floor.

I made my way to the bar and luckily there were just enough seats for me and my three friends.

I take a few minutes before figuring out what to order. We had been drinking Patron all day but it was time to lighten things up a bit or so I thought.

When the bartender comes over and asks for our order I say, "Give us some Bailey's."

Yea, we needed to lighten things up a lot because we were already bubbly or tipsy, whichever you prefer.

Before the bartender takes off, I say give us a little vodka on top so what was suppose to be a light drink was getting heavier.

Any who.

We sip and sip and talk and talk. Two of my friends go to dance, but when I'm asked I say, "No Thanks."

It's not that I don't want to dance but I'm looking at people on the dance floor and they are grinding and kissing and grinding and kissing. Whatda? Whatda? Whatda?

Am I expected to dance like that I think to myself. My friends finish getting their boogey on minus the kissing and grinding and then return to their bar stools. They appeared to have had fun.

But I am engrossed and my eyes are bulging out of my head looking at the numerous couples who are playing kissy face like there aren't any other people in this place.

Then Usher's song, "I wanna make love in this club" comes to mind because I'm really beginning to think that I'm going to see some genitalia sooooon.

One couple was up against a beam only about 2 feet away from me. And heck, I'm all for making out and hot diggity but good googly moogly.

The other couples who were making out were a bit farther away from me but they were going at it just as rough.

Wowsa Yowsa! Is this how they do it in New York City? Get down, get down, get down.

And while things seemed to be hot ta def between these couples, I couldn't help but think something else was fueling all this kissy face and rubby rub.

Are they drunk? Cause sometimes peeps can get footloose and fancy free after a few cocktails, but I had never seen anything like this before in my life.

They were dancing and grinding and kissing and grinding and dancing and then just grinding and kissing and kissing and kissing like there weren't any other people in the room.

Before it was over, I picked my eyeballs off the floor and went back to our hotel room. And heck watching all that making out made me feel like a voyeur.

On the drive back, I had to say something about what I had just witnessed and my gf said they were likely high on ecstasy.

Ecstasy makes you turn into a horndog! Wow! I didn't know that.

What do you think about making out in public?